I carefully massage my sore shoulder before opening the door to my little apartment. 20 years of constantly working in front of a computer has left me with a semipermanent neck pain I can't never get rid off. I'm 38 by now, and I can say, without a single doubt, that life hasn't treated me so well.
My name is Paul Birkins. Paulie for my friends, or at least for when I used to have friends. Back when I was still a kid, cute and lively, confident that my easygoing personality would always guarantee being surrounded by people who liked me and kept me distracted and away from my disfunctional family.
But when I kept growing up, developing as a teenager, it was more and more apparent that I had inherited the worst part of both my scrawny myopic Asian father's and my pudgy short-necked Irish mother's genetics. I was a bit... unsightly, to put it bluntly. But even though most girls and a good chunk of my acquaintances started avoiding me with poor excuses, my still bright personality made sure to keep me socially active.
However, I would be lying if I said that my self-confidence hadn't already taken a serious hit.
But then, things kept getting worse.
My father died when I was 16, from overdrinking. Only me and my mom attended the funeral, and neither of us left out a single tear.
Then, 2 years later, my mom also passed away from a car accident. This was a serious blow for me, and none of my so-called 'friends' offered a hand or even visited. They were apparently very busy with exams, exams I couldn't attend because I had to drop out from school and start working since I had no family to support me anymore.
But the final nail of the coffin came when I was 20, when the only girl I ever managed to have a 'chance' with started laughing at the size of my dick right when we were already naked and about to do it.
After that, any reminder of the bright kid I once was completely vanished. I had turned into a sad, chubby, ugly shut-in wih no friends, no family, no highschool diploma, and a penis that had barely grown since I was 13.
......................
I enter my apartment and hang my keys on the door, then take a moment to smell the fragrance of recently dried painting.
This is a new place I managed to acquire recently. After 2 decades of working my ass off, saving a little every month, I ended up with barely enough money to pay for the mortgage entrance for this new apartment.
It's not bigger than the place I was in before. However, there are no insects running around, and the walls are made of solid bricks instead of that cheap paper-mache thing. So I hope they will be able to effectively insulate this place from any noisy neighbors.
Having to spend the last 4 hearing Mr. and Ms. Fletcher fucking almost every night, sometimes lasting entire hours, has done nothing to improve my sexual complex... or my sleep schedule.
I sigh deeply, remembering that characteristic yelp Ms. Fletcher made every time she came. But then I shake my head, sit on the bed and start unpacking the last box from my old place.
I quickly realize that this box mostly contains my mom's possessions. They are a bit parched and dusty, since I never took proper care of them. And, since I have nothing better to do, I start examining them one by one.
There are some old dresses, cheap garments, a hairband, an ugly celtic figure, a little booklet with forgotten phone numbers...
And I suddenly find an item I recognize. It is the neck pendant she always wore, consisting on a braided thin rope attached to a strange bead with the form of a black demon head. But that demon has an open mouth and it's holding some kind of green pearl between his teeth.
What a strange trincket. I remember my mom always wearing this pendant around her chubby neck with the demon head always buried in her chest. It must have been quite uncomfortable, but I can't think of a single instance when a saw my mom without it. She said it was a family heirloom from the Old Country, that if one always kept the bead close to the heart, absorbing energy from the soul, one day it would help its owner to realize his wishes.
Apparently, this ugly thing didn't help my mom survive the car crash.
I chuckle, feeling bitter at my own sense of humor. Then I lean forward, examining the demon head closer.
It is a really crude carving, and looks very old. However, that strange green pearl that it holds between its pointy teeth almost looks like some cheap candy. It makes it difficult to believe they both are part of the same trincket.
My fingers start fiddling with it without so much of a thought, trying to see if I can take that pearl out, but without expecting any-
*Pop*
The pearl comes out, deattaching itself from the demon's mouth, and I stare at it for a while, dumbfounded.
"What the... Is this for real?"
I roll the pearl between my index and thumb, then take a quick wiff at it, feeling curious more than anything.
"What?!"
I take another wiff.
"It smells like... eucaliptus?!"
The sole idea of this supposed ancient artifact smelling like some eucaliptus candy almost makes me laugh. Any reverence I had for this "family heirloom" has already vanished.
"Haah... fuck it."
I quickly throw the pendant and all of my mom's possessions back in the box, deciding to throw them away the next day.
However, I stare yet again at the green pearl in my hand.
"Maybe it's just a candy after all"
Following an impulse, I decide to put it in my mouth to see if it has any flavour.
"Mmmmhhh... Woah! It does taste like eucaliptus!"
This is surprising and disappointing at the same time. And it doesn't take long until it also starts dissolving, like any candy would.
However... Isn't it dissolving way too quick? It's more like it's melting like a piece of ice.
In just a minute, the candy has completely vanished, the liquid flowing down my throat and into my stomach.
"Well, it wasn't so bad after a-... huh?"
All of a sudden, my belly starts getting hot. Very hot.
"What is this? It's... Ugh... It burns! What did I just eat?!"
*Prup*
*Prup*
I hear a noise coming from the box. And right after that, the box starts shaking.
I keep staring at it while holding my belly and wondering what the hell is going on!
After a few more seconds of violent shaking, something small and quick tears a hole at the side of the box and comes flying out of it. Until it's right in front of my face.
"WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
It's the demon pendant, floating in the air like some kind of malevolent spirit, staring at me with those creepy eye sockets that used to be completely empty but now are filled with a misterious while light that definitely wasn't there before.
"W-What is happening?! What are you?!"
"Oooooowneeeeeer..." a creepy ghastly voice comes out from the demon's open mouth.
"Owne-... w-what?" My jaw is shaking so violently that I can barely say any coherent word.
"Owneeer aate the peeearl. I grant wishes to the owneeer"
I stare at it, dumbfounded, my heart beating like a hammer.
"W-W-Wishes? W-What are you t-talking about?"
"Owneeer aate the peeearl. I grant wishes to the owneeer"
"Y-You already s-said that"
This time, the demon head says nothing, choosing to keep staring at me, as if expecting something.
"Uh... S-So you say you grant wishes?"
"I grant wishes to the owneeer" says the artifact yet again. Its ghastly voice would fit perfectly in a freshy toothpaste commercial.
What is this absurd situation?
"You say you will grant me wishes?! L-Like any wish?!" I say with a yelping voice.
This time, the demn head takes a few extra seconds to answer.
"...What I can do, with the energy of the pearl, and the owner's will, I shall grant it"
I let out a pathetic chuckle. This makes no sense, no matter how I think of it. A floating demon head is offering to grant my wishes like this? Out of nowhere? I must be dreaming.
...However, I kinda want to see where this dream is going to.
"Hah hah! I see... Huh... T-Then, can you make me young again? I kinda wasted most of my life being depressed or doing shit I hated, so a second chance sounds tight!" I point at the floating artifact. "What about it? Can you o it?"
"Your wish shall be granted" The demon answers immediately. But it doesn't stop there. "However, the owner still has energy to spare. The owner can ask for more"
"M-More? ...Wait, you say you can grant me more wishes?"
This time, the demon head stays silent.
"Huh... T-Then... I'd like the have the power to convince people, so whatever I tell them, they will fully believe it."
Even I'm surprised at how quick and easy this wish comes out of me, like it was just waiting for an opportunity to be formulated. I just miss the time when people paid attention to me and liked to talk,play or simply be around.
"Your wish shall be granted" The demon answers "However, the owner still has a bit of energy to spare. The owner can ask for more."
I laugh at that, with the slim joy of someone who's winning in a table game. I just wonder when will this dream bubble finally pop out, bringing me back to my sad reality.
"Alright then, you creepy head, then I'd surely LOVE to be hung, to have a nice long fat and functional schlong instead of my tiny pecker. What do you say?"
"Your wish shall be granted."
"Nice! What a good boy you are!"
"But-"
"Wait. There's more?"
"-you still have a speck of energy left. You can ask for one more wish."
"...I see."
I look around at my new apartment. It's a shitty pleace when I think about it. A cheap little block in this disgusting grey city I've spent my whole life trapped in.
I immediately know what I want for my last wish.
"I want to be out of this city. To get as far as I can get, and never come back."
"Your wish shall be granted."
The eyes of the demon start glowing.
And I immediately lose my conscience.
After an indefinite ammount of time has passed, I open my eyes, finding myself in...