You begin to think about how diffrent you are in this world. You're still you, still have you're freinds, but you're not a girl like you were in the other world. You're just this genderless creature. You can feel your androgynous chest where you grew breasts in the other world, feel your hairless arms that grew hair in the other world. It feels so alien.
Trying to distract yourself you decide to try masturbation. It's what you used to calm yourself down with in the old world. You look for the porn you used to look at, though there is a lot more mutilated people to scroll past now, you end up finding a video of a man and a woman playing with eachothers genitals, it was one of your go to videos when you were younger. You're reminded of your neutered form with watching it though, you don't get turned on like how you used to, your body has no response, nothing to get wet or anything like that, no raised heartbeat or feeling of yearning when you see hot people fucking. It's like all those sexy feelings are just turned off. All that happens is that you think of them as pretty, like people you would want to date, you enjoy seeing their soft beautiful bodies, but it doesn't translate into anything sexual, it's hard for the images of their genitals to cause any interest, they don't feel inportant.
You reach into your pants to try to touch yourself, hoping mabye that will Kickstart things. But you're reminded of your sexlessness when you reach down your pants and feel that everything is hairless down there. And you're even more weirded out feeling your vagina and feeling that it's no diffrent from how it felt when you were a kid. Small, underdeveloped, and incapable of any sexual pleasure. Touching it you can just feel the small useless bit of flesh, though no pleasure, at best its as comfy as a headpat. You play with it for a bit but there's nothing that comes from it, no wetness, no hint of erotic pleasure.
It's so alien to not be able to feel any pleasure down there, but you don't feel any longing for pleasure either. It's weird, you're seeing thr same porn as always but it's just nothing to you, there's no mechanism for your neutered body to be turned on so you're just not.