"I'm sorry, Jeff, you're a great guy, but I'm just not into men." said Susan.
Jeff sighed. It wasn't a surprise. He had had plenty of practice dealing with this. Why were the women he was attracted to always gay? Something about the unique sparkle of lesbian women did it for him. Try as he might, he could just never find a straight woman attractive, or even a bi woman. So there he was, stuck, only attracted to the women he could never, ever have. It was the perfect trap, with no exit.
Or maybe with one exit.
With a spring in his step, Jeff walked into the Temple of Divine Womanhood, and laid down his most prized possession, a signed first edition of Alison Bechdel's Fun Home, before the goddess.
Jeff opened the pink cosmetics case that had suddenly appeared with the name Jasmine and a double-bladed axe picked out in rhinestones on the lid. She looked in the mirror of the compact and saw a cute blonde ultra-femme.
Jasmine curtsied before the goddess, crying tears of joy.