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Animalia Magazine: Past and Future Edition

added by makutamon990 12 days ago O

The June 2024 issue of Animalia Magazine was called the Past and Future edition because of its main two articles: the planned Dinotopia colonies and some of the other things going on during the summer events, as well as a few other things in the near future

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The article that focused on the upcoming Dinotopia colonies not only included New Patagonia (the Dinotopia colony in Argentina) and Paleo Island (the new island in the Heiya District, even though dinosaurs existed in the Mesozoic Era, not the Paleozoic Era), but it also focused on both dinosaurs in general and stone age society, including popular myths and misconceptions about both eras that we now knew wasn't true (such as stegosaurus and T. Rex actually inhabiting different periods, and "cavemen" and dinosaurs never inhabited the same era) as well as some facts that some people would be surprised to learn (such as there actually being three separate eras of the Stone Age: Paleolithic, Mesolithic, and Neolithic).

The article also included several previews of art, architecture, and various tools and weapons that would be present in the colonies, mainly for tourist benefits. As was too often the case, the internet weirdoes and trolls were causing their usual shenanigans, claiming that there was going to be "tribal nudity" in those colonies, but the PR-MD left a tantalizing picture behind.

"What the trolls are saying isn't completely correct but isn't completely incorrect either."

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The other article talked about the big event at Renardville, which had been labeled as "a cross between a comic convention and a renaissance fair". It was something to see a Japanese Samurai and a European Knight engage in full-contact sparring with (blunted) weapons. Most of the "trash-talking" during such events, such as a knight calling a samurai an infidel, was mainly to put on a show for the crowds.

There were also "edged" demos used against ballistic gel torsos (re-colored and reshaped to resemble orc/Uruk-hai) that was not only for Joshua to "diagnose" the damage, but also as a means to show off, though not in front of young children or people "sensitive" to blood. The biggest highlight of this kind of event was Liao (now more proficient in both the urumi and kalarippayattu) successfully killing 13 Uruks in one single attack, much to the impressment of everyone who wasn't familiar with such a martial art.

Another thing that was going on in the event was three different marksman competitions: not only was there a "standard" archery competition (featuring both longbows, "light" composite crossbows, "heavy" steel crossbows, and Chinese repeating crossbows, which were held in awe by the others), but also a horseback archery competition, as well as a musketeer competition (which involved firing smoothbore, muzzle-loading, matchlock muskets, including Japanese hand cannons/ōdzutsu (meaning "big cylinder"), which impressed even the French Musketeers).

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There was also a, comparatively, minor article that talked about a term that Animalians used that several humans found confusing: A-Class. Fortunately, the article helped explain that the "A" actually stood for "arrogant", since several male Animalians had their egos puffed up after conversion. As usual, the "modern feminists" began making noise about this, but at this point they were just seemingly desperate for any kind of attention.

In any case, the Animalia website (including the digital version of the magazine) included a few clips of A-class getting humbled, much to the hilarity of both onlookers and those who watched the clips. The most recent, and the most hilarious was when Sue managed to humble Dick by managing to KO him with a few well-placed blows, though most of the hilarity was focused on a passerby who became an impromptu, overly dramatic, referee who counted to ten before declaring Dick KO'ed.


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As a side article on the digital copy, there was also a discussion on the Animalia Foxy Boxing tournament, mainly on what is and isn't allowed, as well as an announcement that such a tournament would be posted only on the Premium section of the Website, much to the disappointment of many an immature reader.
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Towards the end of the magazine, there was a number of announcements of things to look forward to. One of the most anticipated was the official opening of "Ninja prep", though there wasn't going to be any major ceremony or celebrations due to the fact that ninjas had to keep as low a profile as possible, though Samurai Prep was more concerned about finally having a "rival school" to compete with.


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