note: I've decided this story takes place in the early 1990s hence the lack of cel phones in my chapter
Ryan's mom totally believed the excuse about Mr. Krebs not having snow tires on his car. I couldn't tell her that I was her son's age and that I didn't know how to drive my own car! She'd never believe me! I couldn't let anyone know that we'd switched bodies, but I couldn't learn to drive in this snowstorm, either.
I was in the back seat of Ryan's mother's SUV listening to her talk about what a good teacher I was.
"You know, I know that it's not easy to do your job. Bob's father was a gym teacher," she told me. Bob was her husband. I just thought of him as Ryan's dad and now I had to think of him as "Bob". So weird! "There are so many kids that just want to play video games and be lazy and get fat. It's really sad, but that's why we're so grateful for you. We heard you made nationals for college football!"
"Oh...right. Yeah. It was...um..hard." I muttered.
"I bet it was exhausting. And even if you didn't go pro, you can still make SUCH a difference in the lives of the kids. They really need someone to look up to. The last gym teacher was really terrible. He was on his way out. Retiring, you know? You're in really good shape, so we're hoping all the boys will take notice. Do you want to be like your teacher some day, Ryan?"
Ryan was in the front seat, and he sounded uninterested. "Um..."
Ryan's mom laughed. "They'll all get interested in getting in shape when they start dating. That's how it was for Bob. He never worked out a day in his life up until he was a sophomore in high school and then he worked in the gym for years. Gave him a lot of confidence afterwards. He was so shy before that. But you know all about that. Getting in shape gives you confidence you never had before."
"Oh, right," I said. I looked down at Mr. Krebs who was staring daggers at me in my body. "Yeah, I'm a lot more confident now that I have muscles." My eyes bulged and I gritted my teeth.
"So where are you going to stay tonight, at Jake's parent's house? I think they'll be okay with that. You know, we might have room in the basement."
"Oh, my parents have a guest room," I blurted out. "I mean, his parents. Jake. Jake's parents do. I um...met them before."
"Well, this is really bad and it's gonna get dangerous. We're just a street away from Jake's parents' place. Where do you live?"
"Uh. Um." I looked down at Mr. Krebs for help. He mouthed the words 'Badger Street' which I repeated.
"Oh, you can't go all the way out there now. It's way too far."
When we got to my parents' house, the snow was falling even more intensely. I assured Ryan's mom I'd be okay and thanked her for the ride. I said goodbye to Ryan enthusiastically and he barely murmured a goodbye. Geez. I frowned. He thinks I'm Mr. Krebs now.
"I cannot believe you are doing this, Jake!"
"What was I supposed to do?" I argued, with my new big booming voice. I was trying to be heard over the wind. "Tell everyone we switched bodies?! They'd think we were crazy! Just follow my lead and everything will be cool. Just call my parents Mom and Dad and I'll call them um...Mr. and Mrs. Sherman."
"I can't believe I have to pretend to be a 12 year old!"
"Well...technically you ARE a 12 year old so you don't have to pretend anything! So that's good!"
We got to the porch and I was about to open it when Mr. Krebs stopped me. "You can't just waltz in there. I'm the one who lives here, remember? Ring the doorbell and introduce yourself."
"Oh, right." Weird. Was I really ready for this?
When my Mom answered the door, she looked at me with curiosity. "Hello? Yes? Is Jake in trouble?" She looked down at Mr. Krebs with concern.
"OH...no. No. He's great. Jake is actually one of my best students!"
"Really? Oh, come in, come in! It's freezing out there! You must be frozen solid."
Everything in my house looked way smaller than before...including my Mom! She was way shorter than me now! It was going to take a while to get used to this!
"Uh...I hate to ask you this, but could I possibly spend the night here? The snowstorm made it super impossible for me to get back to my apartment on...uh...Badger Street."
"You're lucky you made it back at all. I'll have to thank Evelyn later. Aren't you happy you didn't get trapped at school for winter break?" Mom joked to Mr. Krebs, who smiled along as he played the part of her son.
"Sure am," he replied in his now squeaky voice. Geez, did I really sound that squeaky? And...he really was puny in comparison to me now! Now that I was able to really think about it, everything was mini sized now!
"Well, I'll have to clear it with my husband when he gets home, but I think that it will be fine for the night. And it will give us a chance to become better acquainted! Why don't you boys give me those coats." I took off the ginormous coat that I'd been wearing. It was taller than I was! I mean, when I'm a 12 year old. I rubbed my stubble. Gosh, I can't believe I have stubble now! I started playing with it for a little too long before looking down at Mr. Krebs with a goofy smile. Mom came out with one of those old Christmas sweaters from the hall closet. "I hung those up to dry. My husband is a much smaller size but this should fit you. It belongs to my brother."
Wow, I thought. Uncle Paul was way taller than Dad was...and now I was about as tall as he was. Wait...how tall was I now? I put the sweater on and it hugged my pecs and arm muscles. "Perfect fit!" I said, overjoyed. Wow, being a grown up stud with muscles was becoming kind of fun! "Thanks, Mo-ah Mrs. Sherman!"
"Oh, please. Call me Marsha," she told me warmly. Marsha! I'm supposed to call my Mom by her first name now!? "And I'm sorry, Mr. Krebs. Your name is..."
"Oh, my first name? My first name." I looked down at Mr. Krebs for help.
"Troy. His name is Troy. Troy Krebs, this is my mother, Marsha Sherman," the new Jake said, feigning some polite introduction.
"Troy. Nice to see you again. Why don't you two fellas watch the TV and I'll try and get a hold of Alan," she said, referring to my father.
"Alan is your father? And Marsha's your mother's name," Mr. Krebs said, almost to himself.
"Do you think I should call my dad Alan? That would be so weird."
"It would be weirder if you called him "Dad"," Mr. Krebs pointed out.
"Your name is Troy?"
"Yes, Sherman. My name is Troy. Or rather, your name is Troy now. We'll just have to fool your parents long enough to make it through the night. Try to say as little as possible."
I turned the TV on to Nickelodeon.
"Can we please watch the weather report? It's a little bit more important."
"Bo-ring. We know it's snowing and it's huge and stuff."
"Try to sound more mature. You're an adult now. Adults do not say "and stuff" all the time."
"Fine. But you have to start sounding like a kid. Don't be so serious, JAKE." I turned the remote to the weather report.
"And we are getting reports from all over the state that this is the biggest storm of the year, folks. So wherever you are right now, you are most likely going to be there for at least a couple of days."
"Oh NO!" Mr. Krebs yelled. "Dirksen! We have to call him. Tell your mother you need to make a phone call."
"What's he gonna do? He can't make the storm go away. He didn't invent a weather machine. I don't think. Just the body swap machine."
"You seem unsurprised by all this," Mr. Krebs said suspiciously, narrowing my eyes.
"Um..yeah I sort of swapped bodies with him a few months ago, but like...his body is totally gross. This one is WAY better!" I grinned. "But that wasn't for very long and we swapped back after like a day. He lives with his mom. He is such a dork!"
"On that, we can agree. Alright, so we are trapped here for maybe three days. We are gonna have to-"
My mom walked in at that point. "Your father already left work. They all went home early." I heard the door opening. "Oh, that's him! Honey! Look who's here!" My mom kissed my father on the lips to welcome him home. Ugh. Gross. "I was just trying to call you. Mr. Krebs is here. He wasn't able to get back to his apartment."
"Troy! Long time no see!" I was floored. My father was like a foot shorter than me! How tall WAS I, anyway? It was so weird. My father held his hand out for a handshake so I went along with it. Wow. Even my handshake was stronger now! "Troy and I met at the bowling alley a few months ago."
"That's right, I forgot about that," Mr. Krebs said inside my body.
"I don't know if I even told you about that," my dad said. "Anyway, Jake, why don't you go upstairs to your room and I can take Troy here into the den for a chat."
"I'm gonna get dinner started. I can throw in some extra spaghetti for ya, no problem. You like spaghetti, right? Any food allergies?"
"Uh...nope!" At least I hope not. I looked down to my old body and he nodded briefly to assure me that he didn't.
My Dad took me into the den. Dad stood there looking pensive.
"So how's he doin', Troy? How's my boy doin'?"
We sat down on Dad's brown leather chairs that he always tells me not to sit on because they're for him and his friends.
"Oh, he's great! One of my best students!"
"Aw, come on. Don't bullshit me. Jake is...he hates sports. He hates doing anything. I need to talk to someone and you're with him every day. What do you really think? I mean...my kid is just so scrawny!"
"He's not THAT scrawny!"
"That's kind of you to say, Troy. I just wish Jake would try to be a little bit more like you and I. You know, I bust my ass all fucking day." My eyes bulged. My father never cursed around me! "And all I want is for my kid to be interested in something. Just seems like all he wants to do is play video games. I gotta get rid of that thing."
"Don't do that!" I blurted out. "I mean...he might react really strongly to that. You want to um...use another method. Like, have you talked with him about all this? I mean, I'm sure he doesn't mean to you know, disappoint you." I stopped myself from saying "and stuff".
"I just don't have enough time. But I'm really glad you're here. You know, maybe you could talk to him about all the time you spent working to get where you are."
"What about you? What about your job at the office where you work?" I suddenly realized I had no idea what my father did for a living and I was suddenly really embarrassed.
"What am I gonna tell him? About my exciting life of counting numbers for other people? You, you're a real man's man. I just don't want Jake to end up regretting that he didn't at least try harder. I know he's young but...when I was his age I was on all the teams, you know?"
"You were really into water polo," I said, remembering the photos my grandmother had shown me.
"Hey, yeah. But that was a long time ago. I'm not really in shape anymore. Not like YOU. Hey, maybe you can give me a few pointers while you're here." I looked at my dad with his blue eyes and stoic, equally stubbled face. I rubbed my stubble. We were two grown men with stubble now. And I had no idea how to exercise.
"Do you...have a gym nearby?"
"Nah, and I really need to go to that one on Main. I pass it every day on the way home. That's the one you go to, you and all your big muscle friends."
"Yep!" This is getting super hard. I can't fake my way through this for three days...can I?
"I wish I looked like you. Big muscles everywhere."
"You look great, Da-I mean, uh, Alan." Great, now I'm sounding super adult calling my Dad by his first name. I sound like a grown up. "Besides, you're not gonna work out in this weather and neither am I!" THAT much was true! "So let's just relax for the next couple of days. Maybe...maybe Jake will like spending time with you. Cause you're at work all the time."
"I honestly should."
"Yeah and...he can miss out on video games for the holiday. We can play board games," I suggested. "I think he'd like that."
Dad started talking about his work again so I just sat there and listened. I learned a lot about Dad's work that night. All about the pressure and the deadlines and how he was trying to get promoted. I never thought about Dad being a guy with problems before. He was always the guy that I looked up to. And now he was just a guy. Average. Shorter than he was before. It made me feel bad. I mean, before I was afraid of making him mad because I didn't want to get grounded and now I was like...another grown up so he could tell me about grown up stuff. His mortgage. The boss of his who was never happy. How he had wanted to go into law. Then Mom came in and told us it was dinnertime.
The new Jake had decided to help with dinner and he was also being very helpful at setting the table. Great. Now my parents were going to expect me to do that all the time! Mom was gushing over him and pinching his cheeks while he looked uncomfortable. Yeah, how do you think I feel? My Dad just started talking to me about serious work issues. Maybe I'm not ready to be a grownup. I just want to have fun and be a kid again, I thought as I ate my spaghetti quietly.
"So, Troy, wouldja like a beer?" I looked up at my dad's offer. A beer? Really!
"No!" the new Jake exclaimed. "His diet. He's on a diet. A special bodybuilder diet!"
"Oh um...I..." Mr. Krebs glared at me. "Yeah, I can't."
"He tells us that beer is empty calories and it goes straight to the hips." Mr. Krebs informed my father.
"Well, I'm going to make a New Year's resolution to drink less beer and work out more like this guy, but New Year's is a few weeks away, am I right?" Dad helped himself to a Miller Lite while I watched thinking about how I could just go to the store and totally buy beer now!
I mean, I could if the blizzard wasn't going strong.
After dinner, we all watched some TV and then I was shown to the guest room. The guest room was where my uncles stayed when they came to visit. The bed was big enough to fit me. I remembered there was a yardstick in the corner and decided to measure myself after Mom left. Wow! I was 6'4" now! Awesome! That's super duper tall! I grinned. Everyone was going to bed now and the wind was howling outside. There was a small knock at the door. It was Mr. Krebs in my body. I sat on the bed and he sat next to me.
"I think so far so good. They don't think anything's wrong. I'm trying not to freak out. You have a very nice family, Jake. I hope you appreciate how much your parents do for you."
"I guess I haven't, huh? I'm just a totally awful kid and I'm totally bad. My dad thinks I suck."
Mr. Krebs sighed in my 12 year old sigh. "They don't think that, Jake. It's just hard to be a parent. Harder than you can imagine. Harder than I can imagine, too. But taking care of other people's kids all day is a big responsibility and its taught me a lot about the subject. Trust me when I say that it's really hard because you want kids to do a good job so that they have good lives. I know you probably don't like me very much."
"That's not true! I wasn't the one making fun of you! That was the other kids!" I said in my big adult voice.
He got irritated. "You were giving me a hard time, too, Jake."
"Okay, I'm sorry, I was." I admitted. "Please don't be mad at me?"
"You're an adult man now, so I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Take responsibility for your actions. That's what grown men do. Try and learn from your mistakes."
"Oh. Okay," I mumbled. "I'm...sorry I made fun of you before. Your muscles and body are totally awesome. I just got jealous because the girls were looking at you. They never look at me that way."
"Yeah, well I don't want the girls looking at me all dreamy eyed either," Troy Krebs told me. "It's not appropriate. I only want grown adults to look at me that way. How was the talk with your Dad?"
"Weird. He has like, problems at work and stuff."
"And?"
"I dunno. I just didn't know that. I thought I was the only one with problems."
"Welcome to the wonderful world of adulthood!"
"Thanks."
"Oh come on. Cheer up, Jake. Have a good night," he said and excused himself. "And...don't do anything with my body. Don't...touch yourself."
"I have to touch myself. I'm in your body, Mr. Krebs!"
"No, that's not what I mean...never mind. You don't understand. I'll explain it later. I need sleep."
"Night," I told him as he left. So weird. I'm a 6'4" bodybuilder in my parents house and I'm not even me anymore.
I went to sleep thinking for some reason about football and baseball.