"So you two wish to change together, it seems. Here in the clinic, or later at your home?" asked Dr. Shuwarnas, clicking her pen by her clipboard.
"I think we would prefer the later change," said Oscar sheepishly, neglecting to mention they'd planned for a home-change all along. He'd personally filled a pan full of dirt and left it at Roxanne's for what he had long fantasized about.
"I see, and it's clear from your intake forms that you have chosen to become an American robin, Roxanne."
"Yes, that's right, feral please. When Oscar suggested I become one I knew instantly I wanted to spend the rest of my flying and free outside like the wild winged creature a robin is."
"Hm, most bird changes these days are feral, but I can understand the sentiment. But Oscar, I think there might have been a mix-up on your paperwork somewhere, can you remind me what you are changing into again?"
"An earthworm, also feral," came the answer the doctor was least expecting. Yes, she'd already read it, but really? To become a worm?
"I ... I ... you know feral means no anatomically human features, right? And for a worm that means, no eyes, nose, legs, and so on. Just a wiggling rope of body tissues shorter than your foot." Maybe it was a little mean to be so blunt, but Dr. Shuwarnas had to be sure.
"I know exactly what it means. Lurking in the deep dark ground, occasionally squirming to the surface, never knowing when a robin might snatch you up ..."
The longing look on his face told Dr. Shuwarnas everything she needed to know. She kind of wished she didn't know. It wasn't the first time she'd inadvertently condemned a poor human to death -- or to something stranger. But Animalia Inc. existed to turn humans into animals, not to stop animals from doing what animals were wont to do.
"I see then," she said at last, "so I take it that you've already been made aware that--"
"--that getting eaten means getting eaten? And that getting eaten by a fellow transformee could result in pretty much anything? Gee, the thought had NEVER occurred to me!"
"Oscar, be nice!" scolded Roxanne. Oscar sighed.
"Sorry, Roxanne. Sorry, Dr. Shuwarnas. It's just, I've already sat through this conversation so many times in the last two hours. None of the nurses or receptionists could believe it." He sighed again. "And, yeah, I guess it is kinda crazy. But what's the point of having a place like this if I can't do it?"
"You can," the doctor said comfortingly. Oscar perked up again. "Hold out your arms," she said. Both Oscar and Roxanne complied. She drew blood from each of them and disappeared back into a little room, and lastly emerged with two sealed cups of liquid with the patients' names on them. "These have been customized to each of your DNA. If the wrong person drinks it, it will do nothing, so don't waste them, unless you want to come back here and pay more money. Drink yours when you get to the place and time you want to transform. If that's not today, then refrigerate them. If it's not this week, then freeze them and thaw when ready. There's more I could say, but since you've already sat through the lectures, I won't keep you any longer. Enjoy your transformation ... and its aftermath."
"Thank you Doctor, you don't know how much this means to me," said Oscar, shaking the doctor's hands gleefully. Roxanne held the and thanked the doctor as well. And then the two patients left. And Dr. Shuwarnas tried to forget what was about to happen.