“Well Jack, you really stepped in it this time.”
Cleveland Smith was the head of Beast Resources. He’d been running the department ever since he came up with the idea of using a Chronivac to lower the cost of the company’s manual labor. Jack had learned everything he knew from this man. Also, his DNA had just been re-written to instinctively respect him.
“Haw, I uh- I can explain sir,” Jack started. Shit, did he normally call Mr. Smith ‘sir’?
The two had moved into a small conference room near the Chronivac. Mr. Smith was sitting on the far side of the desk as if Jack had been hauled into the principle’s office. He had a stack of papers in front of him. The executive director took a deep sigh and flipped one of the papers shut.
“Dale told me the highlights,” he said. Mr. Smith started counting off on his fingers, “Inappropriately configured Chronivac. Missing backups. Excessive use of company resources.”
“What? Excessive-” Jack blinked at that last one.
“It was eleven people! You didn’t need three donkeys for an orientation. You were using them as props to spook the new guys,” Mr. Smith stared at him.
“But-“ Jack sat up. “I’ve seen you-“
Mr. Smith held up a hand. “I know, I know. Not everyone’s perfect all the time. It’s easy to let all this power over the donkeys go to one’s head.”
“That’s not what-“ Jack started to stand up.
“Sit down,” Mr. Smith rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Look... I think this is going to be good for you. Dale’s always had a bit more empathy for the beasts than you. Maybe you’ll pick some up.”
Jack sat back down. He stared at his boss. “What’s going to be good for me?” he brayed.
“It’s been a while since you read your employment contract, huh?” Mr. Smith slid him one of the folders. “In the event that you get hit with the Chronivac, you become Paper Corp’s property until your original form can be restored.”
“Haw!?” Jack let out a bray of surprise. His ears started to itch like crazy.
“Our Chronivac’s profiles take a while to settle. It should only be for about two weeks,” Mr. Smith delivered the news with a neutral tone honed over a career of experience. “By then your generic profile should be safe enough to-“
“Two weeks!?” Jack protested. His ears twitched awkwardly. “But-“
“I’ve got half a mind to leave you like this. Seriously, a decade old backup? Technically your original form can’t be restored.” He held up a hand before Jack could speak up again. “Look, like I said. These two weeks should be good for you. I’m just sorry you’ll miss my retirement party this Friday.”
Haw! Right! Mr. Smith’s retirement!
“Haw! I’m sorry sir, I-“ Jack blinked. “Wait, have you announced the new head of Beast Resources yet? How can I um... You know, while...”
Mr. Smith looked at him sympathetically, “Given the current circumstances, I’ve decided to move forward with Dale as my choice to replace me.”
“Haw!? But Cleveland!” Jack’s ears shot up in surprise. They stretched out and flopped back down around his cheeks. Oh haw! He’d been growing donkey ears during this conversation!
“Jack, everyone’s started to notice how you treat the beasts. If this little vacation of yours doesn’t help, I think you should consider transferring into Human Resources.” Mr. Smith sighed. “I hear they have a director role opening up next year.”
“Haw? But sir!” Jack started to protest. “I just- I just- Hee haw!”
“What is it you always say? They knew what they were signing up for?” Mr. Smith watched Jack struggle to get his words out. “Does that apply to you too?”
“Hee haw!” Jack rubbed his throat. “No sir, I-“
His neck felt sore. Something was happening to... Oh haw! His voice was lowering. Every time he tried to talk, Jack’s voice sounded like it was an octave lower.
“Cleveland, please, I don’t want to be a beast! Can’t you just put me up in a hotel somewhere?” Jack felt a chill run down to his tail. He had heard this pleading before. His voice was losing all its characteristic accents. With each passing plead Jack sounded more and more like a generic donkey. “You- you could have me work in the BR offices for a week or something!”
“I’m sorry Jack, our policies on this are very clear,” Mr. Smith pushed his chair back from the table. “I have some other meetings to attend to.”
“Haw- But Mr. Smith!” Jack sat dumbfounded in his seat.
“You’ll be human again before you know it. Don’t worry. You’ve got a short contract.” Mr. Smith stood in the doorway.
He turned to someone just outside and cleared his throat, “Donkey One Sixty One is ready for his orientation now.”