Jake "The Hammer" Harrison, now a silly, giggling shadow of his former self, danced around with glee in his oversized uniform, twirling in circles, making farting noises with his tongue. His laughter echoed around the baseball field as he skipped back to Dr. Clowngoggles, who stood watching with a proud, mischievous grin.
"Well, Jake, I must say, you're taking to your new role wonderfully," Dr. Clowngoggles said, holding out the Yo-Yo Ray and the Goofball Gun. "But the fun isn’t over yet. I think it’s time for you to share the joy of regression with someone special. How about your dear old Coach McGruff?"
Jake’s eyes lit up, his childish excitement growing. "Oh boy, this is gonna be fun! Coach McGruff never lets us goof around. It’s time for him to see how fun it is to be silly!"
Dr. Clowngoggles chuckled, handing the devices to Jake. "Indeed. Now, take these, and give him the full experience. Just imagine Coach McGruff, that grumpy old man, turned into a goofy little kid—just like you!"
Giggling with anticipation, Jake clutched the Yo-Yo Ray in one hand and the Goofball Gun in the other, his small frame barely able to hold the large devices. He made his way to the locker room. Inside, the faint sound of running water echoed through the tiled space as Jake approached the showers.
There, Coach McGruff stood, a stocky, hairy 50-year-old man with a gruff demeanor, lathering up under the warm spray of the shower. His back was turned to Jake, and the coach hummed absentmindedly, clearly unaware of the fate about to befall him.
Jake, grinning like a mischievous child about to play the ultimate prank, crept closer. He aimed the Yo-Yo Ray at the coach’s broad back, his fingers tingling with excitement.
"Hey, Coach!" Jake called out, his voice high-pitched and filled with glee.
Coach McGruff turned, frowning as he wiped the water from his eyes. At first, he didn’t recognize the small, giggling boy standing before him. "Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in here?" McGruff barked, his deep voice echoing off the locker room walls.
"It’s me, Jake! Or, well, it used to be me!" Jake laughed, bouncing on his toes. "But now I’m just a goofy little kid, and you’re gonna be one too!"
Coach McGruff blinked in confusion, wiping more soap from his face. "Jake? What are you talkin’ about? You’re… you’re just a kid. Get outta here before I—"
ZAP!
Before the coach could finish his sentence, Jake pulled the trigger on the Yo-Yo Ray, hitting McGruff square in the chest. The shimmering blue light engulfed the coach’s stocky body, and he stumbled backward, dropping the soap.
"W-What the… what’s happening?!" McGruff stammered, his voice shaking as the tingling sensation spread through his limbs.
"Oh, Coach," Jake giggled, "you’re gonna love this! First, your body’s gonna get all small and wimpy, just like mine! And then, your brain’s gonna get all silly! You won’t be able to stop laughing and goofing around, just like me!"
McGruff’s eyes widened in horror as the transformation began. His thick, hairy chest started to flatten, the dense muscle he’d built over the years shrinking. His broad shoulders narrowed, and his once-imposing stature began to diminish. "No! This… this can’t be happening!" he yelled, but his voice had already taken on a higher pitch.
"Yep! Look at you, Coach!" Jake teased, pointing and giggling. "You’re already shrinking! Soon, you’ll be just a little kid, and all those muscles will be gone!"
McGruff looked down in disbelief as his thick arms thinned out, the definition in his biceps fading into scrawny, gangly limbs. His stocky build, which had once commanded respect on the field, was now rapidly regressing, his gut shrinking but not vanishing, leaving him with a soft, pudgy belly. His chest hair thinned out, and the wrinkles on his weathered face smoothed away. His meaty manhood started to tingle.
"No! No! I can’t… I’m the coach! I’m supposed to be in charge!" McGruff cried, but his voice was growing more childish by the second, his deep, gravelly tone disappearing into a high-pitched whine.
Jake couldn’t help but laugh as his coach’s body continued to regress. "Look at your little weiner, Coach! It's shrinking! You’re gonna be such a goofy little kid!"
McGruff’s legs wobbled as they thinned into the spindly limbs of a child. His feet shrank. His pubic hair faded away and he covered his privates in desperation. He was a pudgy teenager one moment, and the next, he was rapidly shrinking past puberty. Soon, his once-imposing stature was now that of a 10-year-old boy, his adult body completely transformed into that of a scrawny pre-teen. His formerly bald head had been replaced with short-cropped hair, and his hands became small and chubby.
But the worst part for McGruff wasn’t the physical change—it was what was soon happening to his mind.
"No… no, I have to stay in control," McGruff muttered, clutching his head as if trying to keep his adult thoughts intact. But just like Jake had warned, the Goofball Gun’s effects were now taking hold. His serious, disciplined mind was unraveling, childish thoughts flooding in like a wave.
"I… I gotta focus… gotta…" His voice cracked as his thoughts became disjointed, the once stern coach now giggling uncontrollably. "Haha! Wait… why was I mad again? Oh man, this soap is slippery!" He suddenly dropped the bar of soap, laughing as it skidded across the floor. "Oops! Heehee!"
Jake laughed even harder, bouncing with excitement. "See, Coach? I told you! You’re just a silly little kid now!"
McGruff, now fully transformed into a scrawny 10-year-old boy with a mischievous grin, couldn’t stop himself from acting like a goofball. He bent down to grab the soap again but slipped, falling flat on his backside. Instead of being embarrassed, he burst out laughing. "Haha! That was awesome!"
"Coach McGruff?" Jake teased. "More like Goofball McGruff now!"
McGruff nodded eagerly, still giggling. "Yeah! Goofball McGruff! I like that name! Hey, wanna have a soap fight, Jake?" He grabbed another bar of soap and threw it across the room, laughing uncontrollably as it hit the wall.
Jake, just as silly and carefree, caught on immediately. "Yeah! Soap fight! This is way more fun than practice!"
The two boys, once grown men, ran around the locker room, tossing soap bars and giggling like children at a playground. The strict, disciplined coach that had once run the team with an iron fist was no more—now, McGruff was nothing but a goofy little boy, eager to play and laugh without a care in the world.
Outside the locker room, Dr. Clowngoggles watched the scene unfold on his handheld monitor, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Well, that worked out beautifully. Now, who else could use a little regression?"