Jesse made his way out of the school building, his mind racing. In his old life, Derrick would always be waiting by the parking lot, leaned up against his beat-up car, ready to drive them both home after football practice. But now? Jesse didn’t even know who Derrick was in this world. Did he even exist? Was he part of the cheer team?
Feeling a surge of uncertainty, Jesse turned back toward the locker rooms, hoping maybe he’d catch a glimpse of Derrick. If he could just see his old friend, maybe things would start making a little more sense. He moved through the nearly empty hallways, hoping for some kind of sign, something to hold onto in this twisted version of reality.
But when he reached the boys' locker room, the only person still lingering was Sam, casually leaning against one of the benches, texting on his phone.
“Hey, Jess, you need a ride home?” Sam asked, looking up as Jesse approached. “You’ve seemed kind of off today, so I figured I’d ask.”
Jesse froze for a moment, caught between relief and disappointment. He had been hoping to find Derrick, but of course, in this world, Sam was his closest friend. And after the exhausting day he’d just had, the thought of walking or waiting around for a ride that might not even exist anymore didn’t appeal to him at all.
“Uh, yeah.” Jesse said, trying to hide his hesitation. “Thanks.”
“Cool, let’s head out.”
Jesse followed Sam to the parking lot, feeling the weight of the day pressing down harder with each step. He just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and figure out what to do next. Maybe when he woke up tomorrow, everything would be back to normal. Or maybe not. Either way, he needed time to think, and more importantly, to get out of public view.
As they reached Sam’s car, Jesse noticed how clean and polished it was—far from the old, rusty car Derrick used to drive. Sam unlocked the doors with a beep, and they both climbed in. Jesse leaned back in the passenger seat, finally feeling like the day was starting to wind down.
But as Sam started the engine and pulled out of the lot, Jesse realized they weren’t heading in the direction of his house. He frowned, trying not to sound too concerned. “Uh, Sam? You know where you’re going, right?”
Sam glanced at him, a mischievous smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, don’t worry. I just figured we could grab Starbucks real quick. I know you’ve been feeling off all day, so I thought a treat might cheer you up.”
Jesse’s stomach twisted with anxiety. Starbucks? He never drank Starbucks in his old life, but apparently, in this one, he did. His heart sank. He’d been so close to the relief of getting home, of retreating to his room where no one could see how lost he was in this unfamiliar world. But now? He was about to sit in a public place, pretending to be someone he wasn’t.
Still, he didn’t want to draw attention to how out of place he felt. Sam clearly cared about him—about this version of him—and Jesse couldn’t risk blowing his cover. So, he forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
The drive to Starbucks was short, but it felt like an eternity to Jesse. His mind raced as he tried to remember anything about what he supposedly liked. Did he drink iced coffee? Lattes? Or was it some sugary frappuccino that had no real coffee in it? The uncertainty gnawed at him, a constant reminder that this wasn’t his life.
When they pulled into the parking lot, Sam parked the car and grinned. “Alright, your usual today?”
Jesse hesitated, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, sure. I could go for my usual.”
Sam laughed, clearly amused by Jesse’s half-hearted enthusiasm. “I’ll order for us. You seem wiped. Just grab us a table, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Jesse gave a weak nod and headed inside, the cool air of the café hitting him as he stepped through the door. The smell of coffee beans and sugary syrups filled the air, and Jesse quickly found a small table near the window, trying to keep his anxiety in check.
Sitting there, waiting for Sam to return, Jesse felt the pressure mounting again. He had no idea what Sam was ordering for him, no idea what this version of himself would even like. What if Sam expected him to know all the right details about his favorite drink? What if he asked him some question about the taste or how it was made?
A moment later, Sam returned with two drinks in hand—one an iced coffee with what looked like a ridiculous amount of cream and sugar, the other a frothy caramel frappuccino, topped with whipped cream and drizzled caramel. He set the frappuccino down in front of Jesse with a grin. “One caramel crunch frapp, just how you like it.”
Jesse stared at the drink, trying to hide his discomfort. The thought of drinking something so sweet made his stomach turn, but he had no choice. He had to play along.
“Thanks.” Jesse said, picking up the drink and taking a cautious sip. The cold, sugary mixture hit his tongue, and he forced himself to swallow it down. It wasn’t terrible, but it definitely wasn’t something he would have chosen.
Jesse sat stiffly in the chair, fingers wrapped tightly around the plastic cup of his caramel crunch frappuccino, forcing himself to take another sip as Sam watched him carefully. The whipped cream melted slowly into the iced drink, and Jesse could feel the overly sweet taste clinging to his teeth. He set it down on the table, internally grimacing but keeping his face neutral.
The Starbucks was buzzing with chatter, the sound of the espresso machine hissing in the background. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, casting a warm glow across the polished wooden floors. Jesse’s mind raced. He’d never even liked places like this. Before today, he would have been on the field right now, exhausted from football practice, laughing about something stupid Derrick said. But here he was—sitting in Starbucks, trying to blend into a life that wasn’t his.
Sam leaned back in his chair, the relaxed confidence in his posture making Jesse even more uneasy. “You’ve been off all day, Jess.” he said, taking a long sip of his iced coffee. “I mean, I get it, practice was rough, but this morning? You barely said a word. You’re usually way more hyped up for cheer.”
The word cheer still felt foreign to Jesse, as if it belonged to someone else entirely. He let out a soft laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as hollow as it felt. “Yeah, I guess I’m just tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”
Sam studied him for a moment, his brow furrowing in concern. “That’s not like you. You’re usually the first one hyping us up about practice. And today during warm-ups, you seemed... off.” He set his coffee down, his eyes locking onto Jesse’s. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
Jesse could feel his throat tighten. He wasn’t used to this level of scrutiny from his friends—at least, not like this. Back in his old life, Derrick or the other guys might ask if he was alright, but they’d shrug it off quickly if he gave a vague answer. But Sam seemed to genuinely care, and that only made it harder for Jesse to lie.
“Yeah, really.” Jesse said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I think it’s just, you know, school, practice... everything piling up.”
Sam nodded, though his eyes remained on Jesse with a hint of doubt. “Alright. Just, if something’s up, you know you can talk to me, right? I’ve got your back. Always.”
Jesse felt a strange mix of guilt and gratitude. Sam clearly thought they were close, but to Jesse, he was practically a stranger. Still, he nodded, knowing he had to play along. “Yeah, thanks, Sam. I appreciate it.”
The conversation drifted toward lighter topics, Sam bringing up some cheer team gossip about a routine they were working on for an upcoming game. Jesse tried to focus, nodding along and offering the occasional comment, but his mind kept drifting around how calm Sam was, how effortlessly he fit into this reality. The more Jesse thought about it, the more surreal it became. Here they were, two boys in a world where boys acted nothing like what Jesse remembered.
It wasn’t just Sam, either. All the other boys seemed so… happy. Cheerful, carefree, like they didn’t have a single worry in the world. There was no posturing, no competition, no constant need to prove themselves. No one cared about looking tough or cool. They joked, they gossiped, they wore whatever they wanted and didn’t seem to care about how they were perceived. It was the opposite of everything Jesse knew growing up. He could still picture Derrick and the other guys from football practice, ribbing each other and cracking jokes that were half insults, all part of some unspoken hierarchy they were constantly maintaining. But here… here it was like none of that mattered.
Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts. “You’re not drinking your frappuccino.”
Jesse blinked, realizing he’d barely touched the drink. He picked it up and took another sip, the thick, sugary concoction making his stomach churn. He forced a smile. “Yeah, just trying to take it slow.”
Sam chuckled. “That’s not like you either. You usually down this thing in minutes.”
Jesse’s smile faltered for a split second. He was starting to realize how little he knew about the version of himself that everyone expected him to be. Apparently, this Jesse loved sugary drinks, was obsessed with cheerleading, and was always the life of the party. How much longer could he keep pretending? The weight of it all was beginning to crush him.
Sam raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You’re thinking way too hard today. Seriously, what’s going on?”
Jesse hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to ask what was on his mind without sounding completely out of place. But the question had been eating away at him all day, and maybe if he got some answers, he’d understand this world a little better.
He took a breath, glancing down at his cup before looking back at Sam. “Do you… like being a boy?”
The question hung in the air for a moment. Sam tilted his head, clearly caught off guard. “Uh, what do you mean? Like… being a boy in general?”
“Yeah.” Jesse said, his voice quieter now. “I mean, do you like it? Are you… happy?”
Sam leaned back in his chair, frowning slightly, like he was trying to figure out where this was coming from. He took a sip of his drink, then set it down, meeting Jesse’s gaze. “I’ve never really thought about it, to be honest. I mean, yeah, I like it. I’m happy. It’s not like I’d want to be anything else, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Jesse nodded slowly, though that wasn’t quite what he was asking. “But, like… doesn’t it bother you? The way people expect you to act, or the way things are? You don’t ever feel like you’re supposed to be different?”
Sam gave him a puzzled look. “Different how? Like… what do you mean?”
Jesse struggled to find the right words. “I don’t know, just… like, everything. The way we dress, how we act, the things we do. Doesn’t it feel… weird to you?”
Sam shook his head, still looking confused. “No, not really. I mean, this is just how things are, right? We’ve got it pretty good. I don’t see why it would feel weird.”
Jesse felt his frustration building. He couldn’t explain it in a way that made sense, at least not without sounding completely insane. To Sam, everything was normal. This world was his world, where boys wore whatever they wanted, gossiped, and did cheerleading without anyone batting an eye. But to Jesse, it felt like he was wearing a costume, trying to play a role he didn’t understand.
“Sorry.” Jesse muttered, feeling awkward for even bringing it up. “Forget I said anything.”
Sam leaned forward, his expression softening. “Hey, it’s cool. I just didn’t know where you were going with that. You’ve really been out of it today, huh?”
Jesse nodded, grateful that Sam wasn’t pushing him for more. But the feeling of disconnection remained, the sense that he was trapped in a life that wasn’t his. He wasn’t just struggling to fit in—he was struggling to even comprehend how everyone else seemed so perfectly content. How could Sam, or any of the other boys, be so happy in this world? How could they not see how strange it all was?
Sam took another sip of his coffee, glancing around the café before turning back to Jesse. “Look, if you ever want to talk about… whatever’s going on, I’m here, alright? I know I joke around a lot, but seriously, if something’s bugging you, just say the word.”
Jesse forced a smile, appreciating Sam’s sincerity even though it didn’t really help. “Thanks.” he said softly, taking another sip of his frappuccino, the sugary taste still making him cringe internally. “I’ll be fine. Just one of those days, I guess.”
Sam nodded, though he still looked a little concerned. “Alright. Well, let’s get out of here soon. I can tell you’re itching to get home.”
Jesse couldn’t argue with that. Every minute spent in public felt like another test, another reminder of how out of place he was in this reality. And yet, as much as he wanted to escape, he couldn’t help but wonder how long he could keep pretending. How long before someone—Sam, or someone else—noticed that something was really wrong?
As they left Starbucks, Jesse felt a small flicker of relief. At least they were finally heading home. He climbed into the passenger seat of Sam’s car and buckled his seatbelt, sinking back into the seat, hoping that the rest of the ride would pass in silence. The last thing he wanted was more conversation—especially when he was already feeling so out of place in his own skin.
Sam, however, wasn’t about to let the mood sit. As he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, he glanced over at Jesse and gave him a playful nudge on the arm. “You’ve really been down today, huh? Alright, I know what’ll cheer you up.”
Jesse raised an eyebrow, not sure what Sam was talking about. Before he could ask, Sam’s hand darted over to the stereo, and a strange yet somehow familiar beat flooded the car. The opening notes were defeaning, and Jesse’s stomach dropped as he realized what was playing: a song by one of his favorite girl groups.
In this world, at least.
“Oh, come on.” Jesse groaned under his breath, but Sam was already bopping along to the music, grinning like he’d just made the best decision ever.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t love this song!” Sam teased, his head nodding to the rhythm. “You were obsessed with their last album!”
Jesse cringed inwardly. The peppy, upbeat melody, the sugary-sweet harmonies—it was everything he wouldn’t have been caught dead listening to in his old life. But here, in this bizarre version of reality, Jess apparently adored this kind of music. As the chorus kicked in, Sam even started singing along, completely unbothered by the fact that Jesse wasn’t joining in.
“This is so your jam, dude.” Sam said with a laugh, glancing over at Jesse. “Remember when we went to their concert last summer? You were screaming louder than anyone!”
Jesse’s face flushed, trying to imagine himself doing that. He’d never even been to a concert, let alone one for a girlband. “Yeah, sure.” he muttered, looking out the window, hoping Sam would let it drop.
But Sam, of course, wasn’t done. “Come on, Jess. Sing it with me!” He was tapping the steering wheel now, singing the lyrics with exaggerated enthusiasm. “Love me like you mean it, don’t stop ‘til I feel it!”
Jesse closed his eyes for a moment, fighting the urge to scream. The song was catchy, yes, but it felt like it was mocking him. It was a reminder of how different everything was. How different he was.
Sam must have noticed Jesse’s lack of enthusiasm because he stopped singing, turning the volume down slightly. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop messing with you.” he said, his tone more sincere now. “But seriously, Jess, you’ve been off all day. You’re not yourself. You didn’t even try to show up for cheer practice.”
Jesse bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. How could he explain that he wasn’t himself because this wasn’t himself? He wasn’t the Jesse that Sam knew. He wasn’t this cheerleading, frappuccino-drinking, girlband-obsessed version of himself that had somehow taken over his life. But he couldn’t say that. Not without sounding completely insane.
“I’m just tired.” Jesse said instead, his voice flat. “I think I just need some sleep.”
Sam glanced over at him, his expression softening. “Yeah, maybe. But if you need to talk about anything, I’m serious, Jess. You can talk to me. You know that, right?”
Jesse nodded, but he didn’t trust himself to say anything more. The song continued to play softly in the background, its cheery melody feeling completely at odds with the storm of emotions swirling inside him.
As they drove on, Jesse stared out the window, his mind racing. The world outside looked normal enough—trees, houses, streetlights passing by in a blur—but everything inside felt wrong. He was trapped in a reality that wasn’t his, surrounded by people who expected him to be someone he didn’t know how to be.
Sam had no idea how much Jesse wanted to scream, to tell him the truth. But instead, he just kept quiet, sipping his drink, trying to figure out how he was going to get through another day like this.