After spending some time resting at Vanessa’s, Jesse’s ankle felt better, though the emotional weight from the day still hung over him. Vanessa had insisted on driving him home, and while Jesse had agreed, a nervous tension simmered in his gut.
As they pulled into his driveway, Jesse stared out the window, watching the familiar sight of his house grow closer. His mind raced, thoughts spiraling over everything that had happened that afternoon. The practice, the praise, the weird admiration from Gabby. It all left him feeling more confused than ever. And then there was Vanessa, always so kind, always so easygoing. He could feel Vanessa’s eyes on him as he parked the car.
“Well, here we are.” Vanessa said, breaking the silence with his usual cheerful tone. “You feeling alright? I mean, is your ankle any better?”
Jesse nodded absentmindedly, his fingers playing with the edge of his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’m feeling fine now. Thanks for today. I really appreciate it.”
Vanessa gave him one of those bright, effortless smiles that always seemed to put people at ease. “No problem, Jess. You did great, seriously.”
Jesse sat there for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest. He could hear his pulse in his ears, the tension rising. All day, he’d been wrestling with these conflicting feelings—this sense of attraction he didn’t want to admit, this fear that maybe he wasn’t the same person he thought he was. And yet, here was his chance, sitting right next to him, staring at him with nothing but warmth and support. If he wanted to know for sure, to figure out if what he felt was real or just his mind playing tricks on him, this was it.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Jesse turned to Vanessa. “Hey, uh…” he started, his voice uncertain, trailing off as the words he was about to say died on his lips.
Vanessa tilted his head slightly, confused. “Yeah? What’s up?”
Jesse didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned in quickly, closing the small distance between them, and kissed Vanessa. The contact was brief, just a press of his lips against Vanessa’s, a quiet moment in the stillness of the car. His heart raced, every muscle in his body tensed, waiting for something—some kind of spark, some kind of confirmation that he was either right or wrong.
But there was nothing. No rush of excitement, no surge of desire. Just an odd, empty feeling, like he was going through the motions of something he wasn’t meant to feel. He pulled back almost as quickly as he had leaned in, his face flushed, his breathing shallow. Vanessa blinked, clearly caught off guard but not upset, just surprised.
Jesse could feel the silence stretching between them, thick and awkward. He stared down at his hands, his mind buzzing. Did I just…?
Vanessa shifted slightly in his seat. “Uh… Jess?” he said softly, his voice a little uncertain now. “What was that?”
Jesse forced himself to look up at Vanessa, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I… I don’t know.” he admitted, his voice shaky. “I guess I just… needed to know.”
Vanessa’s expression softened with understanding, though there was still a bit of confusion in his eyes. “And… did you figure it out?”
Jesse shook his head, biting his lip. “I don’t know.” he repeated, more to himself than to Vanessa. “I thought it would help, but… it didn’t.”
He expected to feel embarrassed, maybe even humiliated, but instead, there was just a strange numbness inside him. The kiss hadn’t been the revelation he was hoping for. If anything, it had left him more conflicted. The attraction he’d felt toward Vanessa seemed to fade a little, like the kiss had deflated some of the tension, but it didn’t give him the clarity he’d been seeking. He still didn’t know what he was or what he wanted.
Vanessa sat quietly for a moment, his eyes searching Jesse’s face for any sign of what he was thinking. Then he sighed softly, offering Jesse a small, understanding smile. “Hey, it’s okay.” he said gently. “Whatever this is… you’ll figure it out. No rush.”
Jesse nodded, grateful for Vanessa’s patience, but the knot in his chest wouldn’t go away. “Yeah. Thanks.”
Vanessa reached over and gave Jesse’s arm a comforting squeeze. “If you ever want to talk, you know I’m here, right?”
Jesse gave him a weak smile, though his mind was still spinning. “Yeah. Thanks, Vanessa. I… I think I’m gonna head inside.”
“Alright. Take it easy, okay?” Vanessa said, his tone still warm despite the awkwardness of the moment.
Jesse opened the car door and stepped out, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. As he walked toward the house, he glanced back at Vanessa one last time, his chest heavy with confusion.
The kiss had solved nothing. If anything, it had only made things more complicated.