Phil Enderson was a prisoner in a featureless white room. What at first seemed like heaven now resembled a cell in a mental ward. Why did this happen? It had to be, no doubt, because Phil Enderson hadn't atoned for his infractions correctly. But he had been cleaning this way for years, why today of all days was he being punished? Maybe he had been doing them the wrong way all along... No, that was impossible, everything Phil believed in couldn't crumble so easily. Doubting was an infraction, he had to add seven more minutes to the timer.
But his phone was on the other side of the locked door.
"FUCK!" Phil screamed. Whoops, now he had to add fourteen minutes. It was a painful torture not being able to adjust a timer. Phil *NEEDED* to add up those minutes. He closed his eyes, imagined he was holding his phone, and pantomimed the act of pressing the buttons on the imaginary screen. The lack of visual or tactile feedback felt awkward, but after repeating these mental gymnastics enough times his brain sort of registered the fact that he had added those minutes.
"Ok, 133 minutes on the timer." He reassured himself as he opened his eyes.
He almost blasphemed again when he realized that the green light from before had been concentrated into a green triangular shape, slowly rotating in mid-air right in the middle of the room like a ghostly green pyramid.
Phil felt scared. Would it be a good idea to inspect this strange phenomena more closely? He didn't need to think for too long because right then Phil was teleported to the middle of the room, right below the green light.
Not only had he teleported. One moment Phil was standing upright looking up at the pyramid and the very next he was crouching, his eyes facing the locked entrance. This split-second reality malfunction made Phil feel like a glitching video game character after a higher being had activated a secret debug mode.
He didn't remember ordering his body to crouch. Worse still, he couldn't abandon this stance.
This sense of losing control of himself was not pleasant. For instance, if such higher being was controlling his body, what was stopping this higher being from controlling his inner thoughts? Phil's entire mind could be wiped or replaced in the wink of an eye. Blink, and everything that made Phil, 'Phil', would be discarded and scrapped. It was a terrifying prospect, experiencing a change because of the will of someone else. Phil didn't want to change. Ever.
His line of thought was ironic. Because Phil had just lost control of himself for the rest of his existence.
No, he hadn't suffered any body malfunction. What actually happened was that a single existencial switch had been flipped from animate to inanimate, it was as simple as that.
But of course Phil didn't immediately realize any effort to move out of his own accord would be in vain. So when he realized he couldn't stand back up he internally tried to move and scream for help for a very long while.
Considering the supernatural pyramid hovering above him, he could have been positioned like an Egyptian sphynx, laying down on his belly in a relatively dignified pose. But reality couldn't have been more different with Phil's crouching pose resembling that of a freaking frog with his hands touching the floor and his legs spread open.
He felt powerless, helpless and cold. The latter because the teleportation process had obliterated his clothing, his exposed balls almost touching the floor. Fortunately for Phil his head was stuck looking at the door so he didn't have to worry about committing the infraction of looking down at his very own virgin penis...
...Yet that didn't mean we can't look at it ourselves. Phil's uncircumcised penis stood permanently erect at exactly 5 inches long. His hairy balls were average-sized at best and just like his father his torso, legs and arms were covered in a soft mantle of black fur.
Unlike his bear of a dad Phil was more like a cub, the dark brown hair on his head wasn't balding just yet, his frame was slimmer and Phil wasn't going to be lucky enough to be turned into a human pool table.
The mass on Phil's body began to shift around. His mouth increased in size, and as it did, the rest of his body shrunk smaller. The cells on Phil's body knew they were no longer needed in superfluous body parts like his pancreas or heart so lots of them retreated into his mouth in order to make it bigger.
His mouth kept growing and growing. As it grew in size it was forced wide open in a toothless smile and Phil's tongue came out as it swelled.
Phil was as still as a naked statue, forced to embrace this ridiculous frog-like, demeaning stance. Had he be turned into a fancy decoration?
Unbeknownst to him he had been turned into something much worse...
*********
Agent opened the locked door for Mr. Wheeler with a royal reverence. "Ta-dah! This is the room that'll delight your guests the most!"
The round alien looked the at the plain white room all over. "Smells brand-new! And I love the cum-colored walls! But isn't it just a bathroom?"
Agent let out a chuckle. "'Just' a bathroom? Man, how were you planning to throw a party on the exotic planet of Earth without one of these beauties!" The Agent entered the pristine and sanitary-scented white-tiled room and caressed the fleshy contraption in the middle. "Just imagine, after playing a very intense drinking game of Earth billiards things get steamy and your guests feel the need to relax and socialize somewhere more intimate..."
Mr. Wheeler's numerous eyes glowed up. "And that's when the orgy starts?"
"(Eww, flesh grinding against flesh, how repugnant...)" Agent's anus expelled. "(Anyway, where do I vomit my shit?)"
Agent shooked his head at Mr. Wheeler. "I was thinking more about the ancient tradition of communal evacuation. Nothing cleanses the soul and body more than disposing your bodily waste alongside a good friend. Why do you think most bathrooms don't have walls separating each urinal? It's so you can steal a glance or two and learn about all types of intergalactic genitalia in the process." The alien with black scales walked to the fleshy contraption in the middle of the room. "There are hundreds of thousands of intelligent lifeforms in the known galaxy, each lifeform with their respective sets of genitals, and each genital with a need for a different kind of toilet. It would be a waste of space to try to cram all those different toilets in a galactic spaceport for example, that's why *these* are so popular." Agent slapped the contraption's backside. "Adaptive toilets ensure all types of genitals are properly serviced, no matter how exotic. Here, let me show you. You just scan your cock like this, see..."
Meanwhile, Phil was panicking. If his strange transformation hadn't been crazy enough, now two monstruosities had entered the white room. What were these nightmarish creatures? Aliens? Demons? One of them was a black-scaled reptile, it seemed aware and intelligent what with walking on its two hind legs and wearing a brown trenchcoat. Its devilish grin was unnerving and looked down at Phil like he was just another piece of furniture. It wouldn't stop speaking in unintelligible noises to the other monster, who had so many eyes Phil had to count them thrice to make sure he didn't miss any.
Phil wanted to scream and call out for help, but he was as immobile as an unassuming rock. Surely this couldn't get crazier, what were they about to do to him?
The black alien-looking monster crept closer to Phil. As the predator did, Phil caught a whiff of its otherworldly essence, which only grew stinkier as what looked like the creature's asshole wouldn't stay quiet. The creature's hands ended in sharp claws. They could rip apart Phil's naked flesh if its owner wanted to, but what the creature ultimately did was even more horrific.
It unzipped its fly.
Phil mentally shrieked in true panic when the monster took out a big and thick alien penis from the confines of his trenchcoat. Just like his black scales, the alien's cock was dark skinned and hard thorn-like protuberances enveloped it all over. It was sweaty, smelly and... was that alien smegma? Phil couldn't be sure. But he was positively sure he didn't want a manhood, specially such a bizarre and alien looking one, anywhere near his mouth.
The alien creature wiggled his cock in front of Phil's eyes. Was he trying to tease him? Show his junk off? Phil couldn't read his monstrous facial expression, but he didn't like the way the fiend's fangs grew more visible the more he stroked his cock.
Shit, shit, shit! The alien was gonna fuck him, didn't he? Phil wouldn't be able to endure that. Even stealing a glance at someone's dick was a big infraction, not to mention very gay.
Oh crap, thinking of the word 'gay' was three infractions in one!
But even as self-denial thoughts raced in his mind, Phil couldn't stop staring at the hideous dick even if he wanted to. And as he was forced to visually study the shape of the otherworldy penis, to his surprise his mouth seemed to move on its own.
"You just scan your cock like this, see? And the technologically-advanced apparatus will automatically assume the perfect shape to accomodate your junk." Agent kept explaining to Mr. Wheeler. The toilet's wide open mouth began to close around his cock. "Mmmm, warm and slippery, just like I like it! Oh, if you look closely, you can see how its insides have adapted to my cock..." Agent removed his cock from the adaptive toilet momentarily, so Mr. Wheeler could see. "Observe how I have four manly thorns here and two aesthetically pleasing protuberances over there on my dick..." The black alien used his hands to pry open the toilet's mouth. "...And how the toilet has created respective many little tongues to estimulate each of them separately, so I can feel as comfortable as possible as I pee inside it." Agent let his cock be swallowed again and relaxed as he emptied his bladder.
Phil Enderson didn't know what came to him. When he saw the alien cock his mouth's natural reaction was to stuff the whole thing inside. He thought that the cock's spiny thorns were going to cause some serious internal damage in his throat but to his surprise his mouth now possesed the perfect fit, all of the alien inches worshipped properly. It was like his mouth had automatically transformed into a specialized fleshlight tailored to that specific alien cock, the whole schlong sliding in nicely.
That didn't make the situation any less humiliating for Phil. Specially when the cock seemed to feel so snugly inside him that it let go of its acid-flavoured urine.
"Ahh... Perfect." Agent said, relieved. Mr. Wheeler was so mesmerized by the toilet that he asked to be next, to the dismay of Agent's anus who was patiently waiting in queue. But when Agent tried to remove his penis from the toilet, he found it was stuck. "Now that's weird... It isn't supposed to do that..." The alien tried to get his private parts unstuck from the fleshy human toilet unsuccessfully.
Phil felt absolutely disgusted. He had just swallowed this filthy creature's piss! But something was nagging the back of his mind. It was the smegma-like substance he had seen on the base of the black cock.
"(It's so gross. Why is it so dirty down there? Does this monster even wash himself properly? It's... bugging me a lot. I know I should just spit this cock out but then that dirt would remain on it... I *NEED* to clean it...)"
He had already swallowed piss, so might as well use his tongue to clean that little bit of remaining uncleanliness and finish his job properly...
Wait, but why? It didn't make sense for anyone to suffer such a disgusting humiliation just for the sake of cleanliness.
...Yet, we were talking about Phil Enderson. Much of his life actions didn't make much reasonable sense if it wasn't for cleanliness.
"That looks like a good time! I wanna have a go as well!" Mr. Wheeler happily said, blissfully unaware of Agent's stuckage. The fat and hairy alien positioned himself behind the human toilet. "Wow, I love how toilets always have such curvy curves!" He caressed Phil's ass without permission.
"Hold up, I haven't cum- I mean, I haven't finished using the toilet just yet!" Agent protested, but his cock was being sucked off so throughly by the transformed human that he wouldn't be able to pull out even if he wanted to.
"But you said it yourself, communal toilet use is a great way to bond with fellow pals!"
"(Yuck. I don't want to be this circus attraction's pal...)" Agent's anus complained.
Mr. Wheeler unbuckled his belt (with more dexterity than Agent expected considering the hairy dude's twelve arms ended in eyeballs) and his blue jeans fell down to the floor, revealing that his humongous male (?) bulge he had been swinging all this time wasn't just for show.
The fat alien's cock was much thicker than Agent's and judging by the way his eyes rotated sensually slowly he felt proud of showing off his massive weapon.
Phil was still sucking off Agent's dirty cock with newfound eagerness when he felt something thick and warm circling his immobile and exposed asshole. Similarly to what happened when Agent's cock entered his line of sight, Phil's rear end automatically underwent a grotesque transformation when the alien penis had been detected.
Mr. Wheeler's cock was massive and the dude showed his arousal rotating both his excited eyes and his cock around. Thus, Phil's asshole impossibly expanded and his outer rim gained thickness for maximum enjoyment of the new alien dick.
"Woah, this urinal looks just like the ones from my home planet!" Mr. Wheeler said before plunging his cock inside it. The tip of Mr. Wheeler's power screwdriver of a cock connected directly into Phil's g-spot which was now shaped like a sensitive screw. "Oooh screwing it is a delight! It takes the whole thing like a slut!"
Phil wanted to cry. His mouth was sucking off the black-scaled alien's cock while his prostate was being literally screwed by the Ferris wheel-like alien's powerful rotations.
What kind of infraction had Phil Enderson committed to deserve this fate?
"My first time making good use of a communal toilet with a friend~!" Mr. Wheeler chanted with glee. "Shit! So, Agent, how is your semen coming up? Still on your balls? You sure make funny faces when you're nearing orgasm. I should have brought a camera. You even have traces of drool coming out of your mouth. The toilet must be sucking you up real good." The fat alien began to blush and sweat through his many armpits.
"Oh, damn! Do you like eye contact and small talk while you have sex? Because I do. Just say anything if you prefer otherwise. Oh, your silence and that moaning sounds you and your anus won't stop making must mean you feel comfortable with it. So I went grocery shopping the other day and I mistook the cashier for the produce he was selling. It was unfortunate but it was his fault for looking like a carrot." Mr. Wheeler continued parroting as he drilled Phil's rectum.
Despite Mr. Wheeler's late entrance the round alien was the first one to cum. Agent was too busy feeling close to bliss so he wasn't paying attention to Mr. Wheeler's constant yapping and moaning. This toilet was so through! He obviously had used lots of toilets before, but none had paid more care and attention to the cleanliness of his penis like this one. Agent didn't take much longer to orgasm, and the eagerness of the toilet to systematically lap all the semen up to make sure Agent's penis was sparkling clean was enviable if not amusing.
Phil could feel the blasts of cum flowing through both ends of his body. It was extremely humiliating being violated through both extremes at the same time by these bizarre-looking aliens. He hoped this was the last time it happened, but he was so, so wrong.
Once Phil had made sure both alien penises had been troughly cleaned, his body finally let the aliens remove his genitals from him.
"It's not a bad toilet." Agent admitted. "You know, for being defective. I can get it replaced if you want."
Mr. Wheeler couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Defective? Why? It was so delightful to use it! It was eager to service us!"
"But it's a tiny bit too obsessive about cleaning. That's definitely abnormal."
"Abnormal?!" Mr. Wheeler burst out in laughter. "Have you taken a single look at every one of us in the universe? We're insanely crazy specks of dust wandering around the galaxy with no rhyme or reason, trying to find even more of these insignificant and meaningless specks of dust to accept us. Who are we to blame other specks of dust for not having been born as perfectly shaped grains of sand in a luxurious desert? So you want to punish this toilet for something it has no blame of... Can you honestly look with a straight face at how little sense that makes?"
Mr. Wheeler placed his naked body next to the oddly-shaped toilet and hugged it. "You're NOT defective, and you definitely should NOT be punished for it."
Agent audibly sighed. "You're aware it can't understand you, right?"
The trenchcoated alien was right, the toilet couldn't understand his new owner at all. But Mr. Wheeler's sincere hug made Phil Enderson felt an unexpected surge of warmth.