"H-hold up a minute!" Mike sputtered. "I mean, what even is this!? How is it even possible?"
Joe crooked her forearm gently to effect a thoughtful nod. "Heck, what's the purpose? The sex-change thing I know some people out there really want, but this...?"
The doctor smiled coolly, looking suspiciously like she was pleased by their confusion, and also like she'd been waiting for them to ask. "Well, in-house we've referred to it as the 'dullahan' program, for a handy cultural referent," she said, "but the truth is that it was a convenient practical test for a couple different lines of research. Our physics department had some ideas about organic space-folding that we think will open up some truly astonishing possibilities in the future, and our neuroscience department was working on a project to enhance the autonomic nervous system - sort of an advanced reflex-booster, originally."
Mike stared at her. "And...this was the simplest way to test that!?"
"Perhaps not," she chuckled, "but it was a way to combine them in one package. And, well, we don't begrudge our development staff a whimsical touch here and there. Exploring the limits of what we can do because we can do it is a big part of what we're about, here." She shrugged. "As for whether anyone wants it...well, you'd be surprised how many people out there yearn for something they may not even be able to put into words, until something or someone opens their mind to the possibility. I can tell you, more than a few of our own staff have opted to undergo one of the treatments we've developed because they felt like the idea...'spoke to them,' you might say."
"It's true," Joe put in, shooting Mike a sidelong glance. "My nurse, um...lays eggs, apparently. Pretty chatty about it."
"And I am still waiting for her and her husband to actually make good on all that talk about hatching one," Dr. Kelly said dryly. "I swear, every couple months she drops hints about it...but, well, that's their affair."
"So, wait," Mike said, trying very hard to get that mental image out of her head, "'organic space-folding,' is...is that what's going on with our...our necks, or where they should be, or whatever this is? And the nervous system..."
The doctor nodded. "Of course, the technical details are too advanced to get into here, but essentially your bodies naturally create a spatial dislocation between where your head would normally be and where it actually is - allowing it to be somewhere else without losing its connection to the rest of you, the importance of which I'm sure I don't need to explain. The intended applications are more along the lines of spontaneous teleportation, but this was an important first step in applied research on the subject." She twirled a pen between her fingers. "And the autonomic nervous system is the part dealing with actions not under conscious control - the operation of the organs, and a number of self-regulatory reflex actions. We've increased its feedback into the somatic nervous system - the part handling conscious actions - and built it out to the point where it's almost like a secondary brain."
Mike frowned. "Is...is that why it...does things? On its own, I mean?" She wasn't terribly comfortable with that idea; it was enough of a challenge to manage being one person, some days, and if some part of her could just act on its own initiative, who knew what it might decide to do...?
"Exactly," Dr. Kelly replied. "Since the body might have to take action on behalf of the head at critical moments, we felt it was important that it be equipped for more complex processing and responses than the equivalent part of an ordinary human. Though we were surprised by just how complex the relationship between head and body could be, according to the reports from our test subjects."
She hugged herself to her chest, not sure she wanted to hear any more, but Joe was already asking: "Uh, how d'you mean?"
"It's a bit tricky to describe," the doctor said, "and it hasn't been verified by outside researchers, for obvious reasons, but from what's been described to us..." She tapped her pen on the blotter. "If we use the Freudian model as a gross simplification, you could say that the body straddles the boundary of id and ego, while the head similarly exists between ego and superego. It's not as hard and fast as that, but the body tends to act more in response to base biological wants or needs and simpler inner desires, while the head concerns itself more with complex behavioral schemes and larger social or philosophical concerns."
Mike blanched; no, she really didn't like where this was going. "And...and that part's the one that's in control!?"
"It's not really accurate to say that one or the other is 'in control,'" the doctor answered. "You're still one organism, and your nervous system is a unified whole; it's just structured a bit differently. Your body's first instinct might be to do one thing, but your mind still has a say in what you actually do. Even ordinary humans have to navigate that kind of internal conflict, all the time - it's one of the key abilities that distinguishes an adult from a child."
"But...I mean, I can't get stuck having to get part of me to...what, to grow up all over again?" Mike sputtered, shifting herself around in her arms antsily. "I've already got college to deal with! What'm I supposed to do!?"
Dr. Kelly shook her head apologetically. "I am sorry for the mix-up, as I said," she replied, "but I'm telling you this because you ought to know. And it's nothing like that extreme, from what we've been told. As far as what you can do about it, well, we'll certainly offer you the chance to become an ordinary human woman, if you want, but that'll have to wait until we've worked out a corrective course. In the meantime, you'll simply have to deal with any conflicts as they come up." She gave her pen another twirl. "Of course, it's simplest if there's no conflict in the first place."
Joe transferred herself to her other arm so she could put a supportive hand on Mike's shoulder. "Hey, we can keep an eye on each other, if it's really a problem," she said. "Anyway, whatever our bodies might get the urge for, I freakin' guarantee you it's not gonna be the stupidest thing anyone's done on impulse in their college years. I mean, you've seen some of the shit the fratboys get up to."
"Yeah, I was kinda hoping to make it through college without doing anything like that," Mike sighed, not wanting to think too much about what some part of her that wasn't restrained by higher-brain functions like "maturity" and "self-awareness" and "impulse control" might get the urge for. "But...thanks."
"Well," the doctor said, "if we've settled that for now, we do need to talk about how you plan to re-integrate at the college. Were you thinking of attending under your own names, or...?"
"No," Mike put in hurriedly, before Joe could say anything. "We'll..." She caught herself, and turned her head to glance over at Joe. "...well, I'm going to do the cover-identity thing." It'd been intimidating enough to think about attending as an otherwise-normal young woman; now that she'd taken on this bizarre form, even that thought was unsettling, let alone letting on that she was actually himself. She felt herself getting tense and nervous, and found herself gently soothing herself again. Was it really her body doing this...?
"I'm easy, myself," Joe said, shrugging, "but I guess we better both do it, or it'd just raise questions."
"Very well," Dr. Kelly replied. "There's a little more paperwork for you to fill out - this is more of an informal arrangement than anything with legal weight, but we can still pull some strings to get temporary ID for the two of you. If you do want to remain female at the end of the trial, we can help with more permanent arrangements, as well. You'll need to pick out names for yourselves...?"
"Lacey," Mike said, trying to tamp down the weird feeling in her gut at that last bit, then wondered where that'd come from; it wasn't a relative's name or anything obvious like that. Well, it'd work, she guessed; "Mike" didn't lend itself to any convenient homophones, and she wouldn't be any more accustomed to responding to a proper derivative like "Michelle."
"I think 'Jo' should work fine," Joe said, holding herself out for a look back at her body. "Not like anyone's gonna see this and assume I'm really a dude 'cause the name's ambiguous." She chuckled. "Even if this is absolutely something I can blame my mom's side of the family for, cripes."
The last round of paperwork was much shorter, but more of a technical challenge. Mike ended up setting herself on the desk in front of the form, which spread out before her in Star Wars intro-scroll perspective, and leaning over herself to fill out the different fields; she kept rubbing her boobs up against the back of her head. Joe opted to keep holding herself under her arm, not feeling quite confident enough to balance herself in her hand, but it took some contortion to get her head looking at the same place as her opposite hand was writing.
"Excellent," Dr. Kelly said, when they'd finally finished. "Now, it'll take us a little while to get things sorted out with the women's dorm; in the meantime, you might as well take advantage of your stipend to pick up some essentials."
Mike blinked. "Our stipend...?"
She nodded. "You're free to dress and present yourselves as you please, as we discussed, but it's a basic fact that most of your clothes aren't going to fit the way they used to."
"Got that right," Joe laughed, tugging at her shirt as she tried to get it to stop riding up and sit comfortably around her chest. "Hate to think what these'd do to, like, my one good dress shirt."
"Therefore," the doctor said, "in addition to your compensation for the trial, you'll be provided with an allowance for clothing, underwear, and other essentials." She thought for a moment. "And as you probably shouldn't attempt to drive until you're more familiar with your new bodies, I suppose I can send a member of our staff with you, to assist. A fellow student of yours, actually."
Mike wasn't sure she wanted anyone helping her pick out...whatever it was they'd be picking out, but when she thought about trying to drive with her head set on the dashboard, having to keep herself from sliding around on any tight turns, she had to concede the point. She tipped herself in a weak nod.
"Very good," Dr. Kelly said, with another tempered smile, "I'll have her meet you down at the entrance." She steepled her hands. "I know things didn't go entirely as planned today, but I do want to thank you for being a part of our trial, regardless. I look forward to seeing what we'll discover, with your help."
- - - - -
The "fellow student," it turned out, was a young woman around their age, with an athletic build, an infectious grin, and long honey-blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail; she wore a pleated denim skirt and a green-and-white-striped tank top. "Kelly Kelley," she said, offering a handshake to Mike. "My parents thought they were being funny."
Joe couldn't suppress a snort. "...Any relation?"
"No, none," she responded, with a bemused eye-roll that suggested it wasn't the first time she'd heard that. "Lacey, right? And...Jo?"
Mike - or was she Lacey, right now? Should she get used to thinking of herself that way, if they were trying to maintain a cover identity? She wasn't sure she felt comfortable with that... - shifted herself up under her arm so she could accept the handshake. Kelly had a surprisingly firm grip for a woman, she thought; or was it that her own hand was smaller, now...?
They made their way out to the car, and she marvelled at the thought that they were actually going out into the world like this. She was just about to slide into the driver's seat when she remembered, and offered it to Kelly; she took shotgun, instead. "You, uh, you have to kinda baby it, at first," she said, feeling just a little territorial. Kelly nodded and fired up the engine, letting it sit for a minute as it groaned its way up to a stable idle.
"So...you're an intern at the lab, then?" Jo queried. "How'd that happen?"
"Decided I wasn't going home for the summer, and needed a job," Kelly said, backing out of the parking space. "That, and I heard about one of the trials they'd be conducting this fall."
"You...you're in one of the trials?" Mike said. She held herself against her upper chest, so she could see over the dash; it was disorienting, feeling the motions of the car around her and not being able to see anything. But then, it was also a little weird feeling herself nestled in her own (modest) cleavage...
"Same as you, actually," she replied. "Or, well, the one you signed up for; I heard about the screw-up with the chem department." She glanced over at Mike and noticed her expression. "Oh, don't worry," she laughed, "I won't breathe a word. Believe me, I've signed NDAs God Himself couldn't weasel out of. Total professional, that's me."
She was in the same trial, Mike wondered? Kelly looked like a perfectly normal young woman, she'd never have guessed...but then, that was the goal, wasn't it. Was she like them, then? Had she-
"So were you a guy, too?" Jo blurted out, completely unconcerned. Mike cringed a little.
Kelly snorted involuntarily, but fortunately kept her eyes on the road. "N-no," she chuckled, "it's, uh...more the flip side." In spite of her amusement, she did look just a little embarrassed. "You could say that I'm not...technically female, right now."
It took Mike a moment to process that, 'til she remembered what Dr. Kelly had mentioned earlier, and realized what she was getting at. "You...why would you do that...?" she murmured, half to herself.
Kelly shrugged. "Well, the money, obviously. And...personal reasons, I guess you could say." She sighed, and Mike was surprised to hear a sound like that come out of someone who'd seemed so positive at first. "I'm kinda...trying to figure out what things about myself are really important to me, I think."
There was a moment's silence, but before they could say anything more, she flicked the turn-signal lever and pumped the brakes; Mike didn't even have to warn her about the leaky vacuum booster. "Oh hey," she said, the infectious grin reasserting itself, "we're here."