As Jeff proudly displayed his brand new anatomy, he knew just what to do with it. He walked up to his mother, who was busy doing some laundry.
"Mom," Jeff said in his most confident voice, "I think you'll find me much more versatile than your old vacuum cleaner."
His mother rolled her eyes and sighed at her son's naivety.
"I have just bought a brand new Dyson that cost three times as much as this so-called 'chronivac' of yours. Why would I use an inferior machine like you instead of my shiny new toy?" she asked, holding up the box with the vacuum cleaner inside.
Jeff's face fell at her response but he didn't give up just yet. He grabbed his cord from his ass and plugged it into a nearby socket before presenting himself to his mother.
"Look, mom! I don't need the cord anymore! And I can charge myself like a USB-C port!" Jeff said excitedly.
His mother looked unimpressed as she crossed her arms and shook her head. "That's all well and good, dear, but this is your father's allergies season. He needs something that can reach under beds and get into tight spaces. Your arms would be quite a disadvantage in such situations."
Jeff frowned at her words. His new anatomy wasn't perfect, but he believed it was better than any traditional vacuum cleaner. He took out his trusty chronivac once again.
"What if I remove my arms?" Jeff said after a moment of concentration. "Then, I can fit into tight spaces much more easily!"
His mother raised an eyebrow at this and asked, "What about your dustbin? Can it hold up to as much dirt and debris as mine?"
With another quick type on the chronivac, a large bin appeared on Jeff's back.
"There you go! No need to empty me between uses," he said proudly. Still, his mother seemed unconvinced, her gaze lingering on the device that had changed Jeff's body beyond recognition.
"Fine then, Mom! I'll show you!" Jeff yelled as he fiddled with the chronivac once again. Suddenly, he began to glow and crackled with electricity. When the light finally died down, Jeff was holding his breath in anticipation of seeing what he'd become. When the light came back on, he saw that his arms were gone replaced with wheels so he could roll up and down stairs easily, and a long hose dangled from his neck where his neck used to be.
His mother let out a gasp at the sight before her. Jeff looked like something out of a sci-fi nightmare.
"Good lord, son! What have you done to yourself?" she asked, taking an involuntary step back.
Jeff didn't care though. With these changes, he was better than any vacuum cleaner ever made. And with that realization, he let out a triumphant cry before rolling down the hallway towards his mother.
"See, mom? I'm better than those lame vacuum cleaners you're used to!" Jeff said, his voice dripping with excitement and pride.
His mother looked torn between being scared of what she'd just seen and impressed by her son's sheer audacity. She hesitated for a long moment before finally giving in with a sigh.
"Alright then, dear. You win. I'll use you instead of the vacuum cleaner."
And so, Jeff was put to good use cleaning the house - or rather, being used while his mother handled the controls. And even though he had never felt more humiliated by having to play second fiddle as a machine that wasn't even real, Jeff couldn't help but feel some satisfaction at finally getting to prove just how versatile and capable he was.
As Jeff roared to life with a deafening sound of power, he felt his wheels rolling around the corners of the house while his hose sprayed and siphoned dirt out from hidden corners and under beds. It took all of two minutes before his mother stopped, her eyes wide in shock at what she was seeing.
"I don't know what you did or how you're doing this," she said, "but...I have to admit: You were right. You are better than a vacuum cleaner."
Jeff felt all his hard work pay off as he basked in her approval. For once, he was more than happy just to sit and bask.
And with that realization came another one - maybe there were other things he could do besides cleaning the house?
The possibilities for Jeff's future seemed endless, but it didn't matter much. He had finally proven his worth as something other than a mere tool.