"Brian here!" Yelled Brian as he threw up his hand. "Everyone, meet Gabriel. You will come to see a lot more of him the coming weeks."
"Nice to meet you all." I greeted with a wave. "Your friend here has told me all about you these past five days. Guess the chaos has finally died down enough that it's safe to get out of the house again."
"Has it already been five days?" Answered the tall boy holding a bass guitar. He was easily well over six feet tall. His lanky frame told me he was still in the middle of his growth spurt, or he was just about done. 15 years old, maybe 16?
"Already, you say?" I asked incredulously. "Surely you jest?"
Tall boy shrugged. "Time flies when you're in good company." Then with a wink, he added: "I'm sure you know all about it with our friend Brian here." He approached with heavy steps and stuck out his hand. "Name's Ray, short for Raymond."
"Good to meet you Ray," I told him as I shook his hand. I had to stand on the tip of my toes to look past his shoulder. "Looks to me like you've brought your good company along for the ride."
"Right, almost forgot." He said with a grin, and a fit of giggles was heard from behind him. Raymond twirled around on his feet, and suddenly I was face-to-face with a cute, preteen girl who shared many of the tall boy's features. Her back was fused to the Raymond's spine. "Bri, Gabriel, meet my niece Backpack- I mean Amy! She's a bit heavy to drag around, but with luck she might outgrow me in a couple years and be the one to carry me instead."
Amy greeted us with a big smile on her face. "Hi y'all!"
She had a southern accent. I realized I never heard a kid speak in a southern accent before. It sounded funny.
"Howdy Amy. You play any instruments?" Asked Brian.
"I like playing the guitar. Ray and the family got me one for my tenth birthday, so I've been playing for three years already."
"Oh you're thirteen then? If that's the case, you might want to hurry up with growing as tall as your nephew. Otherwise you can't catch up!"
The young girl pouted at my comment, though Raymond was quick to defend her. "I'm sure she will. Besides, despite her height, she currently already stands taller than most of her peers."
"Hahaha, that's because you're helping me cheat. Though Peter from my class ended up in the body of his dad. He's even taller than you now Ray!"
"Look at us!" Came the drummer boy's voice. "Each a pair of conjoined twins in our own respects. Your hair looks lovely Gabe."
I wanted to open my mouth to give him a retort, but Brian was the first to speak up.
"Thanks Jason," he replied sarcastically. "As you can see, it's my one redeeming quality. Though it's got a big mouth sometimes. Likes to speak when it's not his turn."
"Look who's talking, dumbass." I quipped. Turning to... Jason, I asked: "You said conjoined twins. Where's yours then?"
Jason looked down at his lap, then let out a big sigh. "It's a bit complicated. I can't exactly speak for them, but my twin can be a bit shy at times. None of us are 100 percent happy with our fusions, though some take it worse than others."
"Amen to that." I muttered.
The drummer jolted in his seat, then looked back down again in surprise. Slowly, he rose from the stool he'd been sitting on.
"Ohh," said Brian. "I see it now."
From the waist down, I could see that those legs did not belong to Jason. The boy was built relatively lean. Not muscular arms or chest per se, but not too shoddy either. It made his body below his waist look chubby and awkward. He had a rather large belly compared to his upper torso. It was badly covered up by a hoodie that didn't quite fit him and a pair of leggings that were supposed to be a loose fit but weren't. He had wide hips and thick thighs. The front of his, erh... groinal area looked plump and full, but not packed exactly. The thick fabric instead betrayed a hint of a camel toe.
I adjusted the front of my jeans for a sec just to be sure, but I wasn't self-conscious enough not to be a bad tease about Jason's predicament.
"Woo, Jason! Work that ass, give us a twirl!"
I felt a pang of guilt by how quickly Jason sat back down behind his drumset again. Brian, in the meantime, grabbed a fistful of hair and tugged at it, harshly.
"You're a dick, Gabriel. You'd do well to apologize." Brian scolded.
"Oh give it a rest! Who are you, my mom? If I could storm out the garage I would."
I massaged my scalp to soothe the pain a little. Then turned to Jason again. "Possessing a pair of girly legs doesn't technically make you a conjoined twin, you know? Just means you're a guy, but gayer."
"Hey, not cool, Gabe!" It was Raymond this time. Amy was glaring daggers at me from her compromised vantage point behind his older nephew's back.
"Come on guys." I said, pointing at myself. "I say that as a guy with a pussy as well as a pair of tits. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but not everything I say is out of malice, unlike what my bunkmate here wants you to believe." I turn to Brian. "Seriously Bri, if I say you're ugly and your ass looks fat, who do you think I'm insulting there?"
"Sounds to me like you're hating on yourself a bit there." Jason pointed out. I snapped my fingers and winked at him. "Spot on, you."
Jason huffed, then turned to his friends. "I think it's just ignorance guys." His eyes landed on me again.
"Gabriel, I'd like to clarify that none of what you said hurt me personally. We are arguing with you because you were being a misogynist prick and Lizzy doesn't exactly have the capacity or the ability to stand up for herself against your hurtful words."
"Wait, wait... who's Lizzy now?"
Jason pointed both index fingers down to his lap. Again, he stood up from his seat.
"Jay's the torso, Lizzy's the legs." Brian patiently explained to me.
"Ohhh..." Came the realization, finally. With a grin, I naughtily added: "Why didn't she say so from the start?"
Now that got a reaction from the chubby pair of legs.