New Year's Eve, Southern California, 1991
Mr. Cachimbo appears in different times in different places. He understands what the future holds and the past as well. He likes to visit different times. The early 90s were a time of prosperity for many in Los Angeles and the Southland. A time when Hollywood royalty were true kings and everyone wore their bling without fear of too much crime. In this slightly different timeline, things were the same but there wouldn't be any riots. In this timeline, things would enter into a new age of prosperity like America saw in the 1950s. Spinning around the multiverse, Mr Cachimbo landed in an alternate 1992 where a young boy was wishing to be just like his Daddy when he grew up, and his Daddy was pining for the days of elementary school. Having a gift to find such fathers and sons, Mr. Cachimbo, much like Santa Claus, knows who's been naughty and nice and who needs their wishes granted the most...
My name is J.J. That's short for John James but J.J. just sounds way cooler. That's what all my friends call me. Or at least they used to.
I'm a handsome single father. I look like a combination of a typical alpha Caucasian model and a jock. I'm THAT good looking. Clean shaven looks. Strong chin. Long face. Great hair. I work out. I dress in expensive suits. I could have any woman I want. I eventually got together with this trust fund chick who didn't need my money. She was just interested in me physically. She got pregnant. My ex girlfriend didn't want to have a baby but I really don't believe in abortion. I convinced her to give me full custody of our child if she had him. He's the apple of my eye. I have a decent job in a law firm. I am a divorce lawyer and I help my fellow men retain their assets from women that are trying to take everything from them.
I got together on New Year's Eve with a couple of the guys from my law firm. We were smoking some cigars that were absolutely amazing. One of the best cigars I'd ever smoked, if not the best. I'd gotten them from this guy, Mr. Cachimbo. It was crazy. One minute I was on my way home and the next I was stopping suddenly at this cigar store out in the middle of nowhere. He talked me into buying a very special blend. I shared them with my buddies, and it had a really good, like really good buzz. I'd never smoked a cigar I'd loved that much before. It was amazing. Made my head light. I felt like I could do anything. I felt like I had to go home and see my son Oscar for some reason.
So I headed out, still lusting after the cigar. I lit another one because I couldn't stop thinking about how good they were. The brand was Mr. Cachimbo's own brand. He rolled them himself! He called this one "Buena Perspectiva".
So I was thinking about all the work I had to do the next week, the next month, the next year. I jealously thought of my little prince. My boy. My jewel. I barely had the time I wanted to spend time with him. He was 8 years old now. I didn't want to be one of those dads that just watched his son's childhood race by. I needed to make more time for him. I was so jealous. My father had been absent all throughout my childhood. It was the one sore spot to my life. Missing out on all the memories I could have had with a father because he was always traveling and making money. Always spending his time at board meetings. I told myself at least we weren't poor, so that was good. I didn't lack for anything else. Except maybe having a role model, someone to emulate. I had a number of coaches and private tutors for that, and military school, of course. It helped shape me into the man I was today! But...I missed out on something. The idea of being just a little boy again being taken care of...by my Daddy. My father was a very cold man and didn't really "do" emotional reunions. He and I barely talked.
My boy Oscar was in bed, of course. His older cousin lives with us and she looks after him when I'm not around. I smiled. What if...I thought about it really oddly, it just popped into my head. What if I could turn into my son and what if we switched bodies tonight? Man, I must be out of it, I thought.
So I went to bed and had this weird dream where I actually got up out of my bed and saw my sleeping body. Astral projection! What a crazy dream! I tested walking around my own bed with my own body. I walked around the house as a bluish ghost, and then I went to my son's room. He was getting out of his body, too!
"I'm going to try to be you from now on. Would you like to be a grown up, Oscar? You can be the dad and no one will ever even know!" I was giddy.
"Really, Daddy??"
"Yeah! Would you like to be big and tall and go to work for me? And I can have fun being a kid?" I asked him.
"Yeah! I'll be the adult and you'll be the little kid!"
"Yep. That's the plan. I'll see you in the morning when we wake up!"
"Okay...I can't wait!" His ghost form ran out of the room and disappeared into my bedroom. I suddenly fell backwards and the next thing I knew I was squinching my eyes. It was morning! I yawned. I stretched my arms. I was on the wrong blanket. I was...the blanket had little trains on it. Why did it have little trains on it? Why was I in Oscar's bedroom? I got down on the floor and looked up. Everything was taller! Giant sized! What! How? No! I looked at my short little arms and felt my short little pint sized legs. I'd SHRUNK!!
"Oh, I get it. I'm still dreaming!" I exclaimed. In a little kid voice. A very prepubescent 8 year old little boy voice. "My voice!" I shrieked. I sounded like a girl, almost. I ran to the bathroom. I wasn't tall enough to even see the mirror all the way but I could see the top of my hair. "Uh oh. This isn't good." It was me saying it but Oscar's voice was coming out of it.
Then...HE came walking in, rubbing his eyes.
"YOU'RE ME! DADDY?? DADDY?? WHERE ARE YOU, DADDY!?" he screamed.
"I'm right here! In this...tiny little boy body!"
"DADDY??? YOU'RE ME AND I'M YOU??? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? And OH MY GOSH I'M TALL. I'M SO TALL!!!"
He followed me, dumbstruck looking. He was making my face look like some kind of slack jawed yokel, I thought with annoyance. We stared at the wrong reflections in the bathroom mirror. "I LOOK LIKE YOU, DAD!!!"
I'll just skip past the hysterics as we figured out our dream was somehow real. I'll skip past the entire day where he called in sick for me. I'll skip to the next day. I taught him how to shave. His beard was growing in and he was very excited to learn how to be a man.
"You mean like this, Daddy??" He was getting used to speaking in a much deeper voice than he had just a few days before.
'Yeah. Only, you take your tongue and move it around your mouth like this, shee? And you shave along the curve, okay? Let's take it nice and slow..."
He carefully traced around his new face, producing clean lines in the shaving foam with his new razor.
"Well, you cleaned up pretty nicely, kiddo," I told him when he was done and he patted his newly shaved handsome visage with a towel. He guffawed at me way too loudly.
"You're the one who's the kiddo now, huh Daddy!"
"Yeah. Looks like I am. So are you ready, sport?"
"Yeah, dad. But I'm not gonna take the car to work til I remember how to drive and stuff."
"Right. So that means..."
"I'll take my skateboard to work! But it's cool. Mr. Cachimbo gave me all your work knowledge stuff."
The bearded cigar store owner had paid us a visit on that confusing first day. He told us that he had several men to visit who had undergone transformations. He said he was part of a very special club and that we were privileged to get to view another perspective from another body of a different age. Very few men and boys were that special, he told us. Then he gave my SON the cigars he'd brought with him. Oscar had cigars for different abilities. My work knowledge, driving a car, knowing everything about money and bills, "adult knowledge" and of course being a father and child rearing. He taught my son to light up a cigar right there in front of me while I just watched, awestruck by how grownup and cool he looked!
"Yeah. Great." It was true. That crazy cigar store owner had swapped my body with my son's. It was all him. He said it was an "end of the year special" and then he explained that we would swap back when we learned a valuable lesson. Yeah. Great. I was pretending not to be enthused but honestly, deep down, I was jumping for joy. I couldn't wait to go to 3rd grade and see how easy it would be!
Mr. Cachimbo told us to call each other by our new names and titles. I'm supposed to call my son "Daddy" or "SIR" and he's going to call me "son" or "Oscar". He will answer to his new name, John James Watts. Or Mr. Watts. He keeps grinning like a maniac. I wish I wasn't so nervous to see him off to work. I'm still on winter vacation and next week, I have to start going to class! In THIRD grade with other 8 year olds!
I thought about the state of the world as I watched the news. The Gulf War had ended nearly a near ago and they were having news commentators talk about it. I flipped the channel. End of year reviews for music on MTV showed a plethora of fun music videos as the VJ's opined and made jokes. My eyes started to glaze over until I got to He-Man! He-Man and She-Ra were still some of the best cartoons! And Tiny Toon Adventures was really good, too! And Batman: the Animated Series. I loved watching cartoons, I thought all of a sudden. My older cousin walked into the room and made me some breakfast, calling me to the table. Wow, she was so much taller than me now! Maybe being a little boy wouldn't be so bad for a little while!
Meanwhile, Oscar skateboarded his way to work.
Man, this is one of the craziest days ever, he thought. I'm in Dad's body! I hope I get to stay this way! This is so cool! I can drive around starting tomorrow after I smoke a magic cigar! Mr. Cachimbo gave me a lot of cigars. Lots of boxes to smoke after the magic ones. He said it will make me feel like a grownup even more! I love smoking already! It's so fun! Everything about being a grownup is fun!
It's totally cool. I'm the grown up tall business suit guy and Dad gets to go back to third grade. I loved reading all the time in my classes so I am excited. Now I get to read really grown up papers and things at Daddy's law firm. I'm a total lawyer now and stuff. It's cool. Mr. Cachimbo says I'll be able to drive tomorrow! Alright! Man, people are looking at me weird. Maybe that's cauze I'm like totally hot now! I love being tall and handsome and getting to shave in the morning!
I get to take the bus ALL BY MYSELF and I bring my skateboard with me. Then I hop off and walk into a big office building. Wow. It's so cool. Everyone sees ME as a GROWNUP!
At work, I was surrounded by men that had all these pretty lady secretaries getting them coffee and tea. I have my own secretary now! Her name is Christina and she's really pretty. All the guys started making remarks about all the women they saw last night at the bar and how they wanted to fuck them. We were talking about fucking women! I got all embarrassed. Then I went into my office and filled out a bunch of paperwork. It's right after New Year's so we're just doing paperwork. I won't have any clients meeting with me for a few days.
When I get home, my "daddy" is just watching TV so I say hey, let's go to the park and ride skateboards together! I change into some of my Daddy's sports clothes and realize I have REALLY big muscles now! And my penis is huge! It's like 8 inches long now! Should I ask Daddy about that?
I ask him in the park about how I have a big penis now and he hushes me. He says not to talk about that out loud with anyone that could walk by and hear us! And I keep looking at all the pretty women in the park who are taking walks. Some of them are old like my teacher but some are really hot and in their 20s. Really pretty. I think about how cartoon characters whistle on Looney Tunes when they see pretty ladies and I get all excited and my heart starts to beat. I tell Daddy and he says what I really need is to smoke. He says I'm having a nic fit!
I go into a store and they let me buy Lucky Strike cigarettes, which is the brand Daddy smokes! I'm a grown man and I can smoke and no one will stop me and tell an adult on me! It's so cool. I'm smiling as I light up a cigarette for the first time and Daddy tells me to inhale. Wow! It makes me feel really warm and good all over. And nicotine really wakes you up! I felt totally refreshed and so we walked home and I asked my cousin to make dinner for us. I don't know how to make dinner yet. Cousin Sarah is really nice and says I've had a good year. She says 1992 is going to be the best year ever, she's convinced. I smile and think maybe it will be!
The next day, I'm supposed to drive, so Daddy tells me to smoke the magic driving knowledge cigar before I go to bed. It had a picture of a racecar on the ring. Not only do I start to get knowledge on driving, my ability to drive is better than Daddy's! I want to take us for a test run so after I finished MY cigar, I got in my Daddy's Ferrari and I turned the key and wow! Before I knew it, I was driving us to a movie theater! I was an adult now. I was the adult and Daddy was my little boy.
"Come on, let's see a movie!"
"You have work tomorrow morning," he said, all worried.
"I'm a grownup. You don't have to worry about that. I'll be okay. Come on!"
I decide we should watch "The Addams Family" since I hadn't seen it yet and it was really funny! Then, I drove us home. My daddy fell asleep in his seat. I was giddy. I felt so big and handsome and powerful.
I put him to bed and fell fast asleep. My dad's alarm woke me up at 6 AM and I drove MY Ferrari to work! I started doing monotonous paperwork and before I knew it, it was lunchtime. The girls at the sandwich shop all smiled at me when I came in. I'm wearing a nice suit and I noticed they don't smile like that for the other guys there. Just me! I pictured myself rubbing up against them and hugging them really close and my penis started to get really hard all of a sudden! I worried about that so I went back to the office and called my Daddy.
"Um...hello...son." I remembered I was supposed to call him son because someone might walk in and overhear me say Daddy and Mr. Cachimbo said that would be BAD.
"Yes...Daddy?" He seemed like he was also still getting used to calling ME Daddy!
"Um...why is my penis getting so big and hard, Daddy?"
He told me that it takes a long time to explain and that he would have THE TALK with me when I got home. He said to come right home after work.
So I filled out paperwork and consulted with a man who called me who was panicked about his wife finding out about an affair he was having. I knew an affair could be detrimental to him in terms of liability so I automatically gave him a few statistics and leaned back in my chair. I told him we'd do everything we could to secure his assets and told him to move all the money he could out of his bank account into a new bank account that he would open the next day. I told him to make an appointment to see me with my secretary.
I feel really good. I did a good job at work today and I drove all by myself! I can drive anywhere now! I think proudly. MY NAME IS JOHN JAMES WATTS, ATTORNEY AT LAW. I smile because I really like being a grownup. I can't wait to smoke another cigar!
Daddy sits down with me, and I love how little he looks now. He's dressed in my clothes. He's been helping me pick out suits and ties before I go to his office and I only have one problem which is the dress shoes are very different from wearing sneakers and I don't like them as much. But Daddy says they send a message about maturity. So I wear them. I want other grown men to look up to me, he says.
"So when a woman and a man really love each other...they...often get together. And take their clothes off..." My eyes grow wide. Ew! Really!??
"Why would I want to stick my penis into a woman's VAGINA?" I am disgusted. "Ewwwww! Gross!!!"
"It's not gross. It feels really good when you do it and she will feel really good, too. But you shouldn't do it while you're in my body!" he stressed adamantly. "No matter what, kiddo," the 8 year old says and I smile. I sounds so funny when he calls me that and he's only 8 years old haha! I ask Daddy if I should smoke a magic cigar tonight and he says no, I shouldn't smoke any cigars from now on! I ask why and he says just because and he tells me that he's still in charge and he's still my Daddy!
"I'm still in charge. I know I may look only 8 years old but I am the Man of the House, still," he tells me, with confidence.
"But...Mr. Cachimbo said I have to be the Daddy now. He said I should learn to do all the things that you do so I can appreciate how hard it is to be you, Daddy! I mean...SON." I stress the word son. "You're the SON now, and you shouldn't be telling your DADDY what to do! Ha!" I'm happy because I realize Daddy really can't tell me what to do anymore because I'm so much taller than him now!
I go to where the magic cigars are, in Daddy's humidor. When I get there, they're gone. The regular cigars are there, but the magic ones for money and bills, being a good daddy and "adult knowledge" are gone.
"Hey! Those were mine! Mr. Cachimbo gave them to me!" I pouted. "You can't do this! I'm in charge and I want my cigars back and I want the back NOW!" I grab him and haul him up into the air. I hold him up by his little arms. "You're a CHILD and I'm a GROWN MAN and I have to take care of you, which means I need my cigars. So get them. NOW."
"No! You don't understand what's happening, son!"
I put him down and look stern. I try to put on my best impression of Daddy. "What do you mean, SON?" I fold my arms like he used to when I did something wrong. "Start talking."
But instead of talking, he starts blubbering. "I can't remember how to drive. Or...or...or do my job!" He sobs. "Every time you smoke a cigar, you get all the knowledge, but I lose that knowledge! And if you smoke those cigars, I won't know anything about money and bills or being a father or...the other stuff."
"You mean...the adult knowledge stuff? Is that like making a baby stuff?"
"It will give you all my knowledge about sex," he cried. "Please, don't take that from me!"
"But," I tried reasoning with him, "You're just a child. I'm a grown up. I need that knowledge to take care of you."
"But that will make me just a little kid again! I'll even be thinking like a child!"
"So what? Mr. Cachimbo wants you to be a happy little boy again! And I'm totally having fun being a grown up! Come on, Dad! I mean...SON." I tried to sound grown up and coughed and made my voice even deeper. "Come on, now. Give Daddy his cigars, boy. You're not old enough to smoke them and if Sarah catches you hiding Daddy's cigars, she won't be very happy with you. Come on, let me be a grownup for real all the way! I love being a grown up! It's totally fun and you could totally have fun being a little boy again!"
Finally, I got my new SON to relent. That's a new word I know! He gave me all three of the magic cigars. I smiled.
"Now, son, because you've made such a fuss about adult knowledge, maybe I should smoke that one first. Which one is it...let's see...probably this one with the pretty lady on the wrapper. Lusta Cabana!"
I smoked my cigar and all of a sudden it all made sense. How to seduce women. How to kiss them. And how to...WOW!
"Whoa! Whooooooa! Yeah! Oh, fuck yeah! I...I know all about fucking now!"
"What's...that? You said a bad word, son!"
"CALL ME DADDY!" I announced, flourishing my cigar around. I was feeling a lot more confident and adult now. "Don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart. Daddy is going to take good care of you? Okay, sweetie?" I clenched my cigar and smoked it down, watching myself in the mirror in MY personal den, where I excused myself. I realized I hadn't tried any alcohol yet! I went into the kitchen and helped myself to a Heineken beer. Daddy tried to say something but I waved him off. "I'm a grownup now, remember? Come on, let's watch some TV."
I landed on a channel with some noirish old movie about a detective and a lusty blonde woman who obviously had the hots for him, only she was bad news.
"This is boring!"
"You'll understand when you're older," I told him. "We can watch cartoons later, sweetheart." I started getting hard thinking about that old black and white blonde bombshell. I realize that even though I knew EVERYTHING about making love, I hadn't actually had a male orgasm yet!
I excused myself to MY new bedroom and didn't bother finishing the movie. My son watched some Care Bears episode while I got undressed in front of my mirror. All this furniture is so expensive looking, I thought. This is a really nice house. But I was going to make it really big some day, I thought. Not just a divorce attorney. I could start my own business. My own law firm with lawyers working under me. I was making enough money...I pictured myself as the big honcho, sitting at my desk smoking cigars while my underlings took orders from me as we helped famous Hollywood actors through their expensive divorces. Making millions of dollars every year for ourselves. I was making good money now. I was making 75K a year but I wanted MORE. I wanted hot women throwing themselves at me. I wanted to go to a bar and mingle with women in hot little black dresses sitting in my lap! Maybe a strip club...yeah a strip club! Watching all those hot women dancing just for me, then going into the back with them so they could....
I whipped out my 8 inches and suddenly knew what to do with it!
I came out grinning from ear to ear. I just had the BEST time in Daddy's body!
"What were you DOING in there, Daddy? You were making all sorts of noises." My little boy questioned me.
"Nothing, sweetheart. Watch your show. Daddy has to run some errands."
I took MY car keys and started MY car and headed to a strip club. Time to see what all these memories were about! I had never felt anything like it before. Just an overwhelming urge to see hot women taking their clothes off!
Well, I came home a happy Daddy tonight, let me tell you. The next day, I smoked the money cigar. I made some decisions right away about purchasing stocks and I understood everything about markets, though I needed to do a little bit of research into new technologies. My Daddy had limited knowledge and now not only did I have his knowledge, but an extra edge that Mr. Cachimbo gave me. My knowledge about investment was actually MUCH better than Daddy's had been!
On that day, I talked with a new client and gave him plenty of advice. We went over strategies and I told him what to say and what not to say in court. I gave him strict orders and it felt...so good. I feel like a teacher but better! I can tell anyone what to do and I have this amazing authoritative voice now! And I know all about adult relationships now and that helps me understand what my clients are going through.
It was finally the weekend. I smoked the last magical cigar. All of a sudden, it dawned on me how to raise my son.
I had to discipline him when it was necessary but I loved him to pieces. The love of a father filled me up. The love I had for my son, to protect him and watch him grow up, and to guide him through puberty, and onward to adulthood. To raise him right.
I knew I was a ladies' man and I probably wouldn't settle down anytime soon. I had a lot of fun to make up for, after all. I'd only been a grown man for less than a week! I LOVED being so confident and my new deep voice! And I knew all about how to treat an 8 year old boy. I started making plans for Oscar. My cousin Sarah and I would take him to the zoo, the amusement parks, the beach...he was going to have so much fun as a little boy that it wouldn't even cross his mind to EVER go back to being an adult!
Of course, only time would tell if that would ever happen, but I was hoping Mr. Cachimbo would let me stay like this. I had so much I wanted to experience as a grown man!