"What the fuck!?" You blurt out in absurdity. Sitting on a wooden shelf was what appeares rlto be an old and dusty plastic packaging, holding a silvery remote with emerald colored buttons inside. But, the package's age nor the remote's color were what elicited your reaction. The package had a slogan that explicitly stated, "Fuck Inanimate Things!"
Directions on the package's other side explained it: "Horny all the time? Make inanimate objects sexy and breedable with the all new Breedinator!™ Zap any non humanoid shaped inanimate object to give it giant tits and ass, along with dick sucking lips, wide hips and a tight wet cunt! Fuck it to your heart's content, but make sure to use protection or finish outside, otherwise you may inadvertently start a new family! (Does not work on anything humanoid shaped; no dolls, action figures, statues, mannequins, cardboard cutouts, stuffed human shaped beanbags, or anything depicting a humanoid shape on it either."
You could hardly believe such a nsfw object could be publically sold like this. Regardless, you admit to yourself that you find it interesting, so you grab it and check out. The old man at the counter running the store knew the item was in his inventory, yet ironically gave a slight look of disappointment at your purchase with a sigh.
Shrugging your shoulders, you exit the store with the weird item in tow. The only thing you could think about was what inanimate object to actually try the remote on, even though by all rights you would be considered insane for actually believing it. Yet, you didn't think of that, only what would be your choice of partner.