“Fuck fuck fuck…” Andre whispered under his rapid breaths, speed-walking as fast as he could down the street. Then he spotted the restaurant, “thank fuck.” He said to himself, slowing down a little to catch his breath. He didn’t want Jess to worry, but then again, he didn’t want her to think he wasn’t rushing.
But being 20 minutes late to a double-date is pretty embarrassing.
“So where are you working now?” Jess asked Nisha,
“Still at Kelly’s Coffee, feels like I’ve been working there forever.” Nisha replied,
“But she still makes the best coffee!” River chimed in, smirking.
The three smiled, looking forward to their meal… although Jess was getting increasingly more annoyed that Andre was late. Again.
Then, as if by magic, Andre swooped through the doors. The warm air immediately fogging up his glasses, he quickly took them off.
“Thank god.” Jess said, a sassy smirk on her face,
“I’m so so sorry, babe.” He said, hugging her quickly, “I couldn’t see the location on my phone, some weird app installed itself… it’s whatever.”
“You’re here now.” River said, “let’s sit down, I’m starving.”
“Me too.” Nisha said.
Before long, the four had been sat down at the their table, everyone sitting opposite their significant other. Andre looked ahead at his girlfriend, Jess. She really was gorgeous, and she looked especially pretty tonight, her brown hair was perfect, her dark makeup was flawless. And of course, she was wearing her leather jacket, paired with a black skirt and a low-cut red blouse, clearly she was wearing a push-up bra. She really was testing him today. How did he get so lucky.
“How did I get so lucky.” Andre said with a smile,
“Oh, shut up. Weirdo.” Jess shook her head, turning away trying to hide her embarrassed smile.
The group ordered their drinks, Jess selected a glass of wine, so Andre did the same. He wasn’t the biggest fan, but they were at a fancy restaurant, he had to. Nisha just ordered a lemonade, and River got themself a beer.
“Classy.” Jess said to River, to which they dramatically threw their hands in the air. Everyone chuckled, Nisha almost felt embarrassed by her over-the-top partner, but she loved them.
Andre had finally settled in, and it seemed like everyone else seemed to have forgotten about his lateness. He allowed himself to finally relax.
They all ordered their food, and while they waited, Andre excused himself to use the bathroom. He got up, patted his pockets, and realised he was missing his phone. He reached over to his seat, and realised the screen was on. Opened on that damn app.
He groaned, swiping his phone.
Jess tugged his shirt, “what’s up?” She asked,
“Nothing, just the app I mentioned. It won’t get off the screen, gonna drain all my battery.”
“It’s fine, just switch it off.” She assured him,
Andre let out a quiet chuckle, “if it’ll let me.” He shrugged, then leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. He walked off to the bathroom, looking down on his phone.
- ONEWORD -
“The fuck even is this.” Andre said under his breath. He swung open the door to the men’s bathroom, still looking down at his phone. He clicked a button, and suddenly it opened up, showing what… looked like the floor plan of the entire restaurant. And in most of the seats were these little blue dots.
As he got to the urinal and started doing his business, he curiously tried to locate the bathroom, finding a blue icon standing roughly where he was. He tapped it, and suddenly it produced a sentence.
‘Andre Lewis is urinating in the bathroom at The Velvet Curtain’
“What the fuck…” he whispered. Was it looked through his camera? He tapped a button, and suddenly the text changed.
‘Andre Lewis’ slightly above average penis is being admired a man on his left’
Andre quickly turned his head, spotting an older gentleman staring at his junk. The man quickly turned his head back to look at his own business. Andre didn’t really care, but why… and how did the app know any of this?
He tapped on the words, and they each highlighted, prompting him to type by pulling up the keyboard. He looked at text beneath, ‘Change One Word Per Sentence to Change Reality’.
This is some weird joke. He was about to put his phone away, but decided to just do it for a joke. He changed ‘Slightly’ to ‘Massively’. Then he pressed enter.
He snickered, finishing up, ready to wash his hands and head back to the table… but he looked down…
“Holy shit!” He said out loud. His member was easily twice its original size… it had to be 7– maybe even 8 inches by now. It was huge! And this was only flaccid.
“Everything alright, son?” The gentleman asked from the sinks.
“Y-yeah!” Andre squeaked, he quickly stuffed his cock into his pants, worrying about it later, “it’s all good, man. All good, don’t worry.” He said with a smile, trying to wrap his mind around this as quickly as he possibly could.
The man walked out of the restroom, and Andre quickly checked that no one else was in there. He grabbed his phone once more, pulled up the app and saw his prompt again. He couldn’t edit it anymore.
“This… this is…”
PING
He looked down, a text from River.
‘Hey man, Starters are here. Hurry back!’
“Fuck.” Andre said. He didn’t have time to deal with this right now. He had priorities. He looked at himself in the mirror… regular old Andre. Nothing weird. Just a schlong twice the size of when he came in here. No biggie.
He tucked his shirt into his pants, and quickly made his way out of the bathroom.
Then came right back in to wash his hands…