Something had changed, and not just with his body. True, it was now developing what he saw as the next stage in making him a girl, but it wasn't so much as what was happening with it which made him notice something was different. Having started school not as Jonathon Fellps, but as Madison McKenna, he was submerged into a world his mind insisted he knew everything about, but, despite this, he was discovering the truth of the matter was far from possessing knowledge, as there were also the real-world applications to consider.
Being surrounded by girls, treated and seen as one of them, Madison had to be mindful he didn't do something which might draw unwanted attention, and not only because he was actually a guy slowly transforming in a girl. For reasons he was struggling to grasp, if he acted too brainy in class, as he observed Lucy doing, it drew, among other things, the scorn of not only the girls in the class, but pretty much the entire female student body, as well as how the teachers responded, as if it was amazing a female could even come up with the right answer. Calling attention to himself, as he'd seen a number of girls doing, ended up with them singled out of groups, labelled unfair things, such as tramps, among other things Madison decided was best avoided. Allowing a guy to pay too much attention to you, as he observed with other girls, and you ended up as gossip among the boys, as well as the girls, as to why you did this. Dress in a specific way, and you could end up ostracised, ridiculed, among other things.
Heck, even who he hung around was the subject of talk and close scrutiny. As a guy, it might come up why you were friends with someone. But never in the amount Madison discovered after learning he could still hang around with Lucy, but it would be detrimental and lead him to be the subject of ridicule and bullying, among other issues he decided in the long run, it was best to avoid and to stick with associating with the girl when not at school. And none of this compared to how he suddenly felt about his body.
Never before had he really given his body much consideration. He showered and groomed himself as how he felt was appropriate. When he felt the need to do so, he masturbated in the privacy of his bedroom. He dressed in a way he and those he hung out with deemed cool. All in all, looking back on it, Madison thought it was almost as he had drifted through that part of his old life. Now, he was acutely aware of things. How did he smell? Did he have an unwanted odour? Was the perfume and other products he used to strong? Not strong enough? The way he did his hair? Was it cute to keep it long? Should he braid it? Pull it back in a ponytail? Cut it short, which he wouldn't, into a bob or pixie cut? The clothes he now wore daily. Did they cover too much? Too little? Were they considered appropriate? Did they draw attention? Was the attention unwanted? Even the question of whether they were age appropriate had to be addressed. And then there was what his body was doing, which led him to new areas he'd never considered, as he was suddenly unsure of his own body, what it was doing, and what he ought to do, if anything, which might help him adjust, all without calling attention to the changes.
The latest shift had begun sometime in the third week of August. Under the tutelage of Dr Deks and the encouragement of the Parkers, he'd started practicing shifting his vocal pitch and inflection and range to make himself sound more like a girl. He'd been told doing so would be beneficial, but, at the time, he didn't care, as he was all rather muddled on the subject. Wanting to sound like a girl, feeling it would be appropriate to do, yet, at the same time, despising having to learn to sound like a female, the matter was driven from him as he discovered something else needing his focus.
As Mrs Parker had suggested he do, he'd been wearing the bras and breast inserts regularly. Not thrilled with either, he at first thought he was having a reaction to the inserts when he noticed his chest, particularly around the nipples, had started to grow sensitive, almost painful. And then, to his alarm, he discovered whilst having a shower, one of his nipples and surrounding area had become more pronounced. Unsure why at first, he noticed a couple days later, the other side of his chest had done the same. Ffrom there, as his chest became more pronounced, he figured out what was happening was he was growing tits. Filling out the cups of his bra, leaving him needing less and less the breast inserts, Madison was unsure how to feel about the latest development, as by the time school began, he hadn't needed to stuff his bra with anything and when he stood naked before the mirror in his room, the person staring back at him was a girl, if he kept his legs together, but, if he spread them, allowed his male equipment to be exposed, he wasn't sure how to describe his appearance, nor how he felt by seeing a what was clearly a girl with a set of balls and a dick looking back at him.
"Dammit," he thought as he hugged his books to his pushed-out chest with one hand and used his other hand to adjust the strap on his backpack. "I don't want to be a girl."
But even as he thought this, it didn't sit well with him. Part of it had to do with what he'd observed had changed, such as when he compared to how he acted when he'd still been a guy, which he now viewed as rather immature and sexist, much the way he now saw a lot of the boys in his class, to actually becoming female, which he was at a loss to explain how he viewed it so far. Overwhelmed, unsure about more stuff than he'd ever given any consideration about, Madison longed to go back to being a guy, to not have to know about things only females knew about, to not be uncertain about his body, and certainly not have to feel as if he'd been thrust headlong into what he was coming to view as unfamiliar territory.
From across the classroom, he watched Lucy collect her stuff, and wondered how the other was adjusting. Wanting to go talk to her, yet knowing it’d have to wait until the weekend, Madison turned her attention elsewhere as Katie, a girl he’d become friends with, caught up to him and started up a conversation he had no problem following along with. Exiting the classroom, heading toward the cafeteria, talking with Katie, Madison wondered how long it’d be until she was all female, and discovered, this was one thing she was certain about, as she dreaded the approaching time when she’d have the genitals of a girl.