THE GRIT CITY SOCIETY PAGES
PLAYBOY FUNERAL HELD ON KELLER ESTATE
It was a rainy day on the Keller estate. A small crowd had gathered of Grit City's most wealthy, a handful of out-of-towners, and a few of us reporters in tow, hoping to document the deceased playboy and Grit City person of interest, Ethan Keller, but it was a closed coffin funeral unfortunately. The rich playboy wasn't the only one being put to rest--Jonathan "Jack" Woodward III, heir to the Grit City's profitable Lumber Mill fortune, and a good friend of Keller's who had also been in the vehicle when it crashed on the highway outside of Grit City a week ago, was also being laid to rest, and whose coffin was also closed. Rumors of mangled unrecognizable bodies continue on online forums have surged since the crash.
In attendance was Ken Izumi, the wealthy heir to the Izumi fortune who has just acquired it upon recently reaching the age of 18 and become Grit City's newest multi-millionaire. Mr. Izumi had been Ethan Keller's ward, adopted after the death of his grandparents, and now it seems was taking over the Keller Estate in trust for a surprise that Grit City is still reeling from. Apparently the notorious playboy had had a secret son with one of his many lucky conquests: Ethan Keller Jr; whom this reporter can tell is the spitting image of his father. Little Ethan has been made a ward of Mr. Izumi along with another orphaned surprise: Jonathan Woodward IV, the new heir to Woodward Mills Inc. The two boys were seen by the gravesides of their fathers, both putting on brave faces as their dearly departed Dad's bodies were lowered into the ground. However when the boys were pressed for questions, a rather rude domestic chased us off the premises while screaming vulgar profanities in French too obscene for the printed word.
While women across the city may mourn the passing of Keller Sr. and the elder Woodward, this reporter predicts that the next generation of girls will be having their hearts broken by their sons in just a few years time. Especially those likely to attend Burke Predatory School come this fall.
Najwa Salim, Reporter & Columnist