"Transform, freakazoid"
"Freakazoid, eh? heheh, For your transformation, your genitals will constantly, randomly, slowly change from Female, to male, to Hermaphrodite and back again. The only time you won't continue to change is while you're asleep. And, as an added bonus, if you ever happen to have sex, or anyone even touches you down there, your juices, your panties, or anything else that has contact your genitals, this condition will spread. But, for today only, this change will not begin until you get aroused."
"Fuck off FREAKAZOID!" she said as she hurriedly ran to get ready for school.