"Hello and thank you for calling the Pleasure Island customer’s service center." A bland female voice answers. "If you're calling because a friend or relative went to Pleasure Island and never returned press 1 now..."
You sigh impatiently as the machine continues to list one option after another.
"If you're calling because you bought a dildo from Pleasure Island that later came alive and started attacking people press 9 now." The recorded voice drones.
"Finally!" You comment as you press 9.
"Please hold..." <insert bad music here>
"Crap!" You mutter.
"Thank you for holding." The same female voice says after 10 minutes. "Your call is now being forwarded to the Pleasure Island dildo attack help desk."
"Thank you for calling the Pleasure Island dildo attack help desk please state your dildo emergency." The operator says.
"The dildo I bought came alive..." You start to say but get interrupted.
"I'm sorry Sir but you will have to be more specific all the dildo models made by Pleasure Island have a mind of their own." The operator says as she interrupts.
"This one is going around transforming people into living dildos after it forces them to have oral and anal sex! Then the new dildo goes around transforming other people!" You explain in a panicked voice.
"Oh, you must have the Devil's Dong model dildo!" The operator says.
"You mean it’s supposed to do this!?" You exclaim in disbelief, "Never mind! Just tell me how to stop it!"
"Why all you have to do is find the original and put a condom on it. Then everyone it turned into a dildo will go back to normal. Didn't you read the instruction manual?" The operator asks curiously.
You don't bother answering as you hang up the phone. You should have known that the solution would be so simple. Good thing you always have a condom with you incase of emergencies. Now you just have to find the original dildo.