“I… I just can’t believe it!” stammered Karen.
“Well, the whole story is that I found a Djinn in a lamp, and Melissa got a hold of the lamp. I made a mistake, and it turned me into a statue. And well, you don’t remember me because Melissa wished that nobody would remember me. She’s still mad at me for breaking up. And in fact you’re part of the reason.” Drake explained.
“Me? What do you mean?”
“Well… Melissa knows that I’ve had the hots for you.”
Karen was astonished to hear that this eight and a half foot formerly bronze statue had a keen interest in her. It was too much to hope for.
“And what about the lamp, if it’s real?” asked Karen.
“Oh it’s real alright, and now Melissa has it. Maybe you’d want to help me get it back?”
“Well who wouldn’t? But first we got to figure out how to get you home! I guess I have to hit the big and tall store a couple of blocks down.” She looked at her watch. “Yea, we’ve still got a hour. I think we need to take some measurements.”
Opening her pocketbook, which seemed to carry everything in it, Karen was able to produce a 60 inch cloth tape. Wrapping it around his waist, she measured 51 inches. The tape was just barely big enough to reach. Drake lifted his arms for the chest measurement, but since that was well beyond 60 inches, Karen had him him hold two fingers on his chest to mark the ends of the tape. In between those marks, she measured an additional 18 inches.
“My god, you’re huge!” she exclaimed. Checking his neck she found that at just under 28 inches. Looking again at his legs, she decided to measure his inseam, which was just shy of 50 inches. She looked up at him as she held the tape so close to his crotch, and with a grin she measured his flaccid penis at just less than 15 inches. She lifted his heavy balls.
“Wow, I sure bought a lot for $2000!” Karen smiled.
Checking his foot length, he taped out at 16.5 inches from heel to toe.
“Well, I better get going, you stay here until I get back!”
“Where can I go?” He asked.
A half hour later she returned, “I bet you didn’t know you take a 9XL in for a shirt, but only a 3XL for your pants! But there simply aren’t shoes big enough for you.”