"I wish to be a stud who attracts all the ladies."
Immediately he felt absolutely nothing happen to him. He waited a bit more, and was shocked to find that nothing continued, unabated, to happen. Running a hand down his frame, he noticed a distinct lack of him becoming macho, or at least changing into a wolf-man or something. The only difference in him was that now he had lotion on the back of his neck.
"Ah, and so dies another of my hopes and dreams." Steve said in a melancholy moan. He went to the one window of his dorm room, opened it, and dropped the bottle of salve out as one might drop a dead and rotten body into its grave.
But the bottle does not yet pass out of this tail. (Neither, for that matter, does Steve.) After plummeting for six floors, it finally entered the life of: