Uncle Jack slowly recovers from his laughing fit, but has to sit down for a bit. He takes out a piece of paper from his front pocket and starts reading from it:
"Rule number one: No poofters! Is that clear, Bruce?"
This makes your nipples explode with desire, and you find yourself saying "Uncle Jack, please fondle my buttocks."
Uncle Jack is sent into another laughing fit, which is interrupted as he suddenly freezes, starts trembling and turns into a Scotsman complete with long red beard and kilt. As bagpipe music starts playing, he lifts his right arm and runs off to the North exaggeratedly fast.
You sit down at uncle Jack's desk, not exactly sure of what you should do, but decide to search through the drawers to see whether something in there might help you with your predicament. In one of the drawers, you find a box of chocolate labeled "Whizzo Quality Assortment". Considering the strange occurrences you had to face during the past few minutes, you realise how hungry you are and take out a piece labeled "crunchy frog". It tastes surprisingly good, if a bit unusual, and you feel refreshed enough to continue your quest to find a way out of this silliness.
After some pondering, you decide to call the police (after all, policemen make wonderful friends). Just as you finish dialing, a policeman on a broomstick comes flying into the room, produces a magic wand and points it at you. There is a small "poof" sound, and you find yourself sitting in a cloud of smoke.
As the smoke clears, you notice that you are both smaller and considerably furrier than you were before, complete with pointy ears and long whiskers.
You are now a cat, and thoroughly confused.