And elsewhere in the united states - the Great Salt Lake for example...
A drunken man stands alone at the edge of the water of the Great Salt Lake, screaming at a car that refuses to sink...
"Sink! SSIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! You stupid car! A car should sink in salt water, not float!" The man was a wee bit pissed off because he had stolen the car earlier and was trying to trash the evidence.
As he stood there hollering at the floating vehicle, a bright white bolt of light descended rapidly from a great height, and landed on top of the floating car. Though piss drunk, the man could see what appeared to be a woman (I'm not going to describe the woman because I'm drinking and it's like 1:30 in the morning. Besides, sometimes it's important for the reader to use his or her imagination).
The figure on top of the car was indeed a woman, and she blurted out a quick, "Fuck!" before she splashed into the water. She quickly swam to shore, and walked up to the drunken man.
"Who the hell are you, and where did you come from," asked the drunk.
"I'm an angel," she said matter of factly.
"An angel? From heaven?"
"Something like that. There's a bunch of heavens you know. For all the different gods and goddesses, but that's not why I'm here Bill. I'm he-"
"How do you know my name?" Bill asked.
"I'm a fucking angel... I know lots of things. I even know that you're a Mormon and that you're not supposed to be drunk, or stealing cars!" yelled the angel.
"Oh... Yes, I suppose you're right.... But why are you here?"
"Damnit Bill, I was just getting to tha-..."
"YOu know, you don't seem very nice for an angel. Are you sure you're from heaven?"
"Bill, if you speak again I will beat you with a rubber hose. Not all angels are supposed to be nice. I'm an arch-angel, and I'm very pissed off. Now listen to me. There's some bad mojo goin' down somewhere in the world, and I need to find 4 horsemen to help me put an end to all this general ungoodness. Now, what I need YOU to do is first put down your beer bottle, and then listen very carefully. I need you to build a Stairway to Heaven. Two of them actually."
"Hehehehe, Stairway to Heaven... I've heard that so-."
"Shutup Bill. One stairway is to go up, the other down. This creates better traffic between the Heavens and the Earth. We may just need to bring more warriors down here to help the humans fight the general ungoodness."
"General ungoodness?" asked Bill.
"Yes, the General Ungoodness. All of us beings from different planes of existence have seen all of these crappy movies that you humans make complaining about, 'The Evil', and, 'The Enemy,' so we had to come up with a far more original name to give to those that seek to transform the Earth into a tool of their bidding."
"Aaaaahhhh."
"Anyways, like I said, I'm going to be looking for the 4 horsemen -"
"Four horsemen?"
"Yes Bill, the 4 horsemen. As in the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. We need them to help raise an army to fight the General Ungoodness. Unfortunately they all went into retirement a while back, right after a small incident at Megiddo... Turns out that people really don't like the world ending and all that, but hey, we all make mistakes. Anyways, I'm off. You... you get to work on those stairways as soon as possible. I figure you'll need about 2 billion tons of wood, a lot of nails, and a hammer."
"Ok..."
"Oooh, and one more thing. If a couple of people come here and they claim that there names are Flaxmane or Swiftfang, I advise you to call me on my cell phone, or you can page me. Or if you're really up to a challenge, you can try to kill them. It'll be hard, but they can be killed... kinda."
"Kinda?"
But before Bill the Drunken Mormon could finish his question, the Arch-Angel had taken off in a white bolt, flying in a northerly direction.
"I still dunno what the hell I'm gonna do about that car..."