Simon grins strutting his stuff. He's a man's man, but he wants to be more manly.
"Hey, Cappy, gimme that Axe," Simon says pulling the spray out of the captain's hand.
"Hey, wait, Simon, that stuff's pretty potent. You shouldn't use too much!" warns the captain.
Simon snorts and proceeds to show his macho side emptying the entire contents of the can first inside his jockstrap, then his armpits, down his backside, and finally down his open mouth. It tastes nasty, but Simon's a man's man now. He shakes the can, and then sucks the last drips from the can.
The captain is shaking his head sadly, "Guess we made, you too dumb, Simon, you should've read the fine print."
"Shoulda, woulda, coulda! Fine print, shmine print," Simon snorts. He glances down at his swelling biceps. His arms seem to be growing longer. His hands cramp up, and he drops the empty Axe spray can. He poses his muscular hairy body, maybe too hairy he thinks. He's not going to admit it though. He says, "Simon says...MOOOOOO!"
He raises his clenched hand to his mouth. "Moo?" he asks tentatively.
He notices his hand. His fingers are fusing together and horny material is growing around the fusing hand. It looks like a hoof.
"MOO!" he shouts in horror holding up his hand.
The captain points at the can on the floor. "Read it while you still can, cow boy!"
"Moo moo?" Simon asks, as he drops to all fours. His arms and legs are the same length. He rolls the can with his nose so he can read better.
"WARNING: Genuine musk ox scent containing musk ox DNA, overuse may be hazardous to your health. Axe Spray and its retailers are not responsible for any side effects or harm that overuse may cause."
"Moo?"
Hair covers Simon's painfully contorting body. Horns emerge from his skull.
"Take, this bull over to the 4H Barn with the other guys who couldn't follow orders," the Captain says.
One of the players snickers and whispers, "Guess we'll be having Musk Ox steaks at our banquet this year."
"MOO!"