I took a moment to survey the situation. About a dozen police officers were crouched behind planters and benches, all pointing guns at me. Except for the toddler girls playing in their teenage clothes, everyone else had backed well away, not wanting to be involved in a gun fight.
Remembering how I'd just turned a bunch of people into rats, I decided to try again. "Bears, bears, bears!"
Guns clattered to the floor as the officers began to change. A dozen duty belts creaked and fabric puckered as they began to grow.
I realized something was different when the uniforms began to tear. Beer guts bulged over straining belts, while the officers' faces sprouted varied, but definitely human, facial hair. Soon they were all burly, at least fifty pounds overweight, and sporting bushy non-regulation beards, goatees and moustaches.
Guns lay forgotten on the floor as they looked at each other with rising lust. I realized the ring had given me my fondest wish of the moment, but not quite the way I'd expected!
The officer nearest me gaped at his new build, but once he spotted me, he retrieved his gun and leveled it at me again. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but it stops. Now."
I grinned at him as I prepared to respond.