You grab your nuts and run, you don't want to wet yourself. You make it to the Men's room, but there's an orange construction cone and a sign that says out of order. There's no way you can make it back to the stables or the ladies room. You'd piss behind a bush, if all you had to do was piss, but you need a toilet. You hop from foot to foot, and decide to venture into the out-of-order lavatory. You figure they can flush tomorrow.
You head for the stall, and open the door and stare in shock. There's only a round black pipe sticking out of the floor. The toilet is missing. You shrug, drop trouser and squat over the hole. You sigh in relief as your bowels empty and bladder drains. Suddenly something cold seems to attach itself to your butt, you figure it's the sewer pipe, and try to stand, but it holds you fast. Your skin is blanching white and your clothing seems to be turning to dust. You open your mouth to scream, but instead it keeps expanding and water fills your mouth. You're totally cold hard and immobile, and you're still in the bathroom stall. You can't figure out what's going on. You sit there helpless and trapped until you hear voices approaching.
"Out of order? What's wrong with it?"
"The toilet's missing, sir," says a nasally subservient voice.
"Missing? Toilets just don't get up and walk away. And what about the urinal?"
"It's missing too, sir."
"Is it--oh, my just a pipe sticking out of the wall. I'll be damned. Must be a fraternity stunt. Well, let's see the toilet," he says.
The stall door swings open, and man looks right at you and points, "Missing, huh? It looks like a toilet to me, doesn't it look like a toilet to you?"
"Yes, sir, but it was gone earlier. Maybe your frat boys done put it back."
The other man snorts, "Yeah, maybe. You go take down the out-of-order sign, and put it by the urinal pipe. I'm going to use this no-longer-missing toilet," he says closing the stall door.
You hear the sound of the zipper. Then you see the man's fat bare ass looming over you. You want to scream. He sits down. You feel his warm ass and rotund mass pressing down on you. You really want to scream. Hot liquid splashes inside your mouth, and then some muck splashes in after it. The guy's got diarrhea. You want to vomit, you want to scream. You want him to leave.
He finally wipes himself, and stands up. He turns and grabs your chromed penis, and pushes down on it. You scream. This time he can hear you as the water swirls around the bowl draining out of you.
"What's wrong with it?"
"Could be air in the pipes, after all someone took it out and put it back."
"Well, fix it." The man who just christened you as a toilet stalks off.