"It's the Law of Equivalent Exchange," says the blond lady in the blue dress with the wings attached. Her wand is glowing over your face.
She taps your forehead, and continues, "Pinocchio was a lifeless wooden puppet, and I gave him life. Of course, I have to turn somebody into an equivalent inanimate object, and you're the lucky fellow!"
"Looookey?" you murmur in a slurred voice.