Approaching the shelves, you see they really are as cluttered as they appeared from a distance. Dusty, too, as if they hadn't been touched in a while. But there does seem to be a general theme... hairbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, razors, makeup, cleanser, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and so on... it's like a drugstore haphazardly stocked with only items you would use on your face and head... plus some hats and even wigs. Which you guess would make sense for a head hovel, but it's still weird.
Finally you come to the end of a set of shelves and find a shiny, brightly painted sign on the wall. "Herbert's Head Hovel," it proclaims. "Press button for service!"
Hoping "service" will include "telling me what the heck is going on here," you mash the button.
No buzzer sounds, but there is a loud whirr and a click... and suddenly a blade swings out of the wall and slices right through your neck!
You let out a blood-curdling scream and don't stop as your head topples off your torso and falls into your hands.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
After about half a minute of yelling, you realize that:
a) you're still alive, and
b) it didn't hurt.
This is shortly followed by the realization that:
c) you're not bleeding,
d) you can still talk (if your sustained yell is anything to go by), and
e) holding your head at waist level feels really weird.
Maybe you can reattach it.
Being careful not to drop it, you carefully shift the weight of your head to one hand and use the other to reach up and feel for whatever's left of your neck. Patting around blindly, you find the collar of your shirt, but don't feel much other than smooth skin inside the ring of fabric... it also feels really strange to touch yourself there.
Your head still had a bit of neck to it, though. Perhaps that's enough.
You grab your head with two hands again, and, facing it forward—you really don't want to see that empty collar you were just feeling—carefully lift it up to your shoulders. You feel slightly dizzy at the unaccustomed motion, but feel a bit better when your place it in position. Except for that weird sensation of skin on skin where there shouldn't be any.
And then a sinking feeling as your head slowly slides off your shoulders and into your hands again. It feels like it might be time to panic...