Just as the weeping increases to an almost intolerable level, a puff of white smoke suddenly forms in the centre of the room. Out of this cloud materialises the body of an unattractive and somewhat dull-looking man. He is wearing a dark suit, and its revers is adorned with an American flag.
Speechless, the donkeys can only stare at the apparition as he begins to deliver a dramatic speech:
“My fellow Armenians,
I cannot help but observe that there is a misunderestimation of donkeys in this story. As an eager defender of pluralism and the market of ideas, I want to take affirmative action to help those who have a hard time putting food on their families. After this, the past will be over!”
With that, the apparition casts a few magical freckles of pink dust on the donkeys, who promptly begin to lose their fur. Their snouts lengthen even more as they are turned into perfect grey trunks. Their hooves begin to split, and their ears become even bigger than before as they are all turned into a bunch of elephants.
His work done, the apparition suddenly disintegrates in a big bang, only leaving a heap of a white powdery substance on the floor. A few of the Elephants start sniffing it in confusion and promptly go haywire, and nobody notices the FDA arriving to arrest the two men for drug trafficking in the resulting pandemonium.
Meanwhile, the story needs to go on. What do you do now?