With twirling lines of annoyance and various symbols representing curse words dancing over Dragon’s head, the big reptile (with a quaint accent) is not about to be defeated by a teensy little mouse woman. Shaking the burn marks off herself in an instant, she huffed angrily. “Arrrrgh!” Dragon growls, “C’mere, ye wee bloody mouse! I gonna cook ye!” Her nose smoldered for effect.
Inside the mouse hole, Carrie giggled slightly, but suddenly remembered poor imprisoned John, her plight of being a tiny mouse… an apparently deranged dragon eager to steal her HUSBAND! Ooh, that made the little mouse angry. “I’ll cut that big lizard down to size!” Carrie snarled, and was suddenly startled by the inexplicable appearance of a large cardboard box marked ACME.
Carrie had seen a lot of cartoons, and knew that this would either explode in her face or be of some really specific ironic use. Luckily it was the latter. Carrie opened the box, sifted through the packing peanuts… and pulled out something large, red, and handheld. A sinister grin crossed her lips as she read the writing on the side and the mouse cackled.
Outside the mouse hole, Dragon had set up an elaborate trap involving cheese, a mousetrap, a water pistol loaded with rat poison, a double barreled shotgun, and a rocket launcher all tied to a pull cord held in her finger. The SECOND that little pipsqueak stuck her head out of the hole, it was all over.
“What’s all that for?” Carrie asked, perched on Dragon’s shoulder.
“Oh!” Dragon said, dropping the string tied to the nasty implements of mousey demise, “It’s a trap, ye see, ta kill this annoyin’ lil’ pest that’s keepin’ me from me one true love!” Dragon’s eyes met with Carries and the mouse offered a sheepish grin, hopping down from Dragon’s shoulder, sliding down her spiny back, and flying off her tail to land feet first on the floor below the massive creature.
Dragon just blinked. “How did ye?” She pointed to the mouse hole with one claw, confused. “And… get onna my shoulder?” Dragon shook her head and growled. “Nevermind!”
Carrie giggled, holding something behind her back.
“Prepare to be a wee snack, mouse woman!” Dragon laughed diabolically and roared, her nostrils starting to smoke. “Wouldja like rare, medium, or burnt? I’m thinkin’ extra crispy!
The dragon stepped forward just as Carrie hoisted out the ACME Size-O-Matic ray gun in both hands, the big red pistol like device showing a green light on the side that indicated it was ready.
Dragon gasped, her smoke immediately dying down, and put her hand to her mouth in shock. “Where’d ye get that?!” she demanded.
Carrie simply stepped back, raised her eyebrows up and down mischeviously, and looked down as her finger turned the big yellow dial on the side. From “normalize” she twisted the dial to “shrink” and with a satisfying sound like a shotgun cocking, the ray hummed ominously.
“So what’ll it be, you overgrown blow hard?” Carrie asked sweetly, “Small, little, or bug sized? I’m thinking extra teensy.”
Dragon gulped and took several steps back. “N-Now wait just a minna here, lassy!”