You see the sign post marked: "3 Pigs" pointing East, "Gingerbread Cottage" pointing Northwest, and "Briar Patch" pointing Southwest. Comically there is a sign pointing back the way you came from simply labeled, "Wolf."
How did that story go? "Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!" Maybe he could lend you some fairy tale super speed, so you head toward the Gingerbread Cottage.
It's a bit odd, the fence surrounding the Gingerbread Cottage looks like dozens of life-size gingerbread men holding hands. As you draw nearer, you notice the expressions on their dough faces are rather grim. The scent of gingerbread and sugar is overwhelming. As you approach the door, you find yourself snapping off a bit of gingerbread shingle and putting it in your mouth.
"Nibble, nibble mousekin, who's nibbling at my housekin," says a voice from inside the cottage. It doesn't sound like a gingerbread man, more like an old lady. Did an old lady bake the gingerbread man? You can't remember, but you have a sense of foreboding. You vaguely recall those very words from your childhood. "Nibble, nibble mousekin?" The door starts to swing open.
A plump blond girl is holding the door open.
You blurt out, "Hansel and Gretel?"
The howl of a wolf can be heard echoing not far behind you. You rush into the gingerbread house and slam the cookie door shut behind you.
The blond girl is holding a finger to her lips, and shaking her head, "I am Gertruda, I like here alone with my dear sweet Auntie."
She adds in a sharp whisper, "Are you here to help Hansel and I escape?"
"I have an idea," you say. You steal a nervous glance over your shoulder as the sound of the baying wolf draws nigh. Certainly, ginger bread won't stop that beast. You ask Gretel, "Has Hansel been holding a chicken bone instead of his finger to convince her he's too thin to cook?"
"Why on earth would he do that? With her glasses the witc-Auntie can see clearly - aha, but she only has one pair and she cannot see without them." Gretel grinned, and whispered conspiratorially, "And she's rather vain, I'm sure she won't be wearing them when she meets you." Then in a louder voice, "My Auntie is in the kitchen right now, but she'll see you in the parlour."
"Thanks, Gret-Gertruda," you say catching yourself.