Groggily, you wake up early the next morning, your alarm blaring in your ears. Turning it off, you lift your covers and find yourself stark naked. Guess you slept in the nude last night. Not really a shocking revelation - most of last night is a haze to you, and all you can really remember clearly is this weird dream about latex wolves or... something. In any case, it wouldn't have been hard for you to fall asleep in your birthday suit and just forget about it.
Climbing out of bed, you realize that you've got nothing to do today. You decide to just spend the day alone, and figure that you might as well skip most of your morning ritual. With that in mind, you decide to get dressed right away, and grab a pair of underpants out of your dresser. You pull them up your legs, until you feel a squish of something pressing against you as they reach your waist. What the heck, did you crap in these and forget to wash them or something? You reflexively pull the undies down immediately, inspecting them as they fall around your ankles, but you can't see anything in them. Not a trace of brown, just clean underpants. Was whatever you felt just your imagination then? Ugh... you sit down for a second, feeling a little tired. It's too early, and you were up too late last night doing... whatever the heck it was you were doing. Supporting yourself on your bed with one hand and rubbing your eyes with the other, you brush back your hair and...
Wait. One hand on the bed. One hand rubbing your eyes. One hand brushing back your hair? That's... three hands? You open your eyes and look around. One on your right, one on your left. That's it. Puzzling for a second over what, exactly, is going on, you rest both your hands on your bed and rub your chin. No, wait. Both hands on bed... and then something on your chin? You look down, and see a shiny black snake reaching around your back and to your chin. Letting out a girlish scream, you jump from the bed, fully awakened by that insidious serpent. You look back to where you were sitting. It's not there. You glance nervously around the room. It's nowhere to be seen. But if it's not in front of you...
Turning as quickly as you can, you prepare for the thing to strike, but it just darts around behind you before you manage to face it. You turn again, and again it evades you. For a few seconds you spin in circles, not wanting to let the creature out of your sight, until you finally just collapse from dizziness. When you regain your senses, you turn back to take another look. The snake is there, but you're still too dizzy to do anything about it. All you can do is look at it, all along its sleek black length right to the base of your spine. Base of your spine? That's no shiny black snake, that's a shiny black tail! Well, that's a relief. For a second there, you thought-
HOLY CRAP, YOU HAVE A TAIL!