"I wonder what's happening back on Qirmallah" Shawna said.
"I can check if you wish sis" Rainna said. "I have to warn you though, they may detect my probe."
"We don't need to alert them any sooner than necessary" Shawna said. "I want to surprise them."
"I was hoping that you'd say that" Rainna said.
"It's going to be easier if we can surprise them" Shawna said.
"That would be best" Rainna said, "especially if they have Earth weapons as well."
"I hadn't considered that" Shawna admitted. "Well, we'll just have to make sure that our weapons are better. That means military grade weapons."
"We need to make sure that we get someone to train our new Amazons on how to use them" Rainna said.
"We don't need to do that" Shawna said, "all they need to know is how to point and shoot."
"There's more to military weapons than that sis" Rainna said.
"Like what?" Shawna asked.
"Like how to clear a jam" Rainna said. "Also there are weapons that fire different kinds of grenades. We don't want anyone firing an incendiary grenade and burning down our forest home."
"Point taken" Shawna said. "So we need to get someone to train us. By the way, how did you know about the grenades?"
"I had tried joining the Army when I graduated high school" Rainna said. "I didn't quite make it even though they had put me into FTB."
"What's FTB?" Shawna asked.
"It stands for Fitness Training Battery" Rainna said. "They put you in there if you don't do the required number of push-ups the right way."
"What happened after that?" Shawna asked.
"Nothing much" Rainna said, "I wasn't able to complete the number of push-ups required to move on from there. They sent me home after that."
"Too bad you didn't have your true body then" Shawna said.
"They wouldn't have been able to keep up with me" Rainna said and they both laughed.
"Ok" Shawna said once she stopped laughing. "Where do we get military weapons?"
"Well we could steal them from a military base" Rainna said.
"I do not want to steal them unless we have to" Shawna said.
"I don't want to do that either sis" Rainna said. "That leaves us with trying to persuade the military to at least loan us the weapons."
"Ok, how do we do that?" Shawna asked.
"You know who we have to talk to" Rainna said.
"Of course I do" Shawna said. "We have to talk to the President. I just don't see how we can convince him that giving us weapons is the best thing."
"That's easy" Rainna said, "we just tell him that there is a threat against this country."
"Like the President will believe us" Shawna said.
"He might if we teleport to him" Rainna said.
"We'll probably scare the pants off of him if we do that" Shawna said.
"It's our best option" Rainna said.
"Very well then" Shawna said.
Rainna grabbed Shawna's wrist with her left hand. She stretched out her right hand toward her staff that she had laid aside and it flew into her hand. Once Rainna had her staff she teleported them to the President.
A faint white light rose from the ground along with a powder blue colored smoke. When the light had reached the top of their heads and the smoke cleared they were gone.
(Authors note: If you've seen Hercules: The Legendary Journeys with Kevin Sorbo then this is like how the gods and goddesses moved around.)
At the exact same time the same light and smoke rose from the floor in the Oval Office. When it cleared Shawna and Rainna were standing before the President of the United States.
"Who are you and how did you get in here?" the President asked.
"I'm surprised that you are not afraid" Shawna said. "That is good since that means you are someone we can work with. I am Shawna, Queen of the Black Amazons of Qirmallah."
"And I am Rainna, High Witch of the Black Amazons of Qirmallah and Shawna's sister" Rainna said. "As to how we got in here, I teleported us here."
"What do you want?" the President asked.
"We need to ask you if you'll loan us some weapons so we can restore my sister to her throne" Rainna said.
"You expect me to just hand you weapons?" the President asked.
"Not at all" Shawna said. "We expect that we'll have to convince you that we can be trusted."
Just then a red phone on the President's desk began to ring. He picked it up and after a brief conversation hung it up. After a moment of silence he said "That was from a secret base. General O'neill informs me that some allies of ours have some concern for my safety."
"Did he say why?" Shawna asked.
"Our allies think that someone just teleported" the President said.
"They can't be sure?" Rainna asked.
"No they can't" the President said.
"Who are your allies?" Rainna asked.
"They call themselves the Barduu" the President said. "That's also the name of their planet."
Rainna and Shawna looked at each other with worried expressions on their faces. Rainna's theory had been born out.
"Now your making me nervous" the President said. "Almost as nervous as the Barduu make me feel when I see them."
"There is good reason for that" Shawna said. "Those you have allied yourself with are known to us as the Barbarians of Barduu. They are the ones that deposed and exiled me here."
"Trust us on this Mr. President" Rainna said, "they are not your allies. They only have one goal and that is to conquer."
"I'll admit that they're not the most civilized people" the President said.
"I sense a but coming on" Rainna said.
"But they have helped us" the President said. "There is a race of aliens called the Goa'uld that are basically parasites. They are snake like and they infest humans. When they do the Goa'uld take over the body and suppress the human. The Goa'uld pose as gods. The Barduu have helped us fight the Goa'uld. Not only that but they have helped scientists at TransDem Labs to create a machine called the Chronivac.
It will help many people who want a sex change."
"We know about the Chronivac" Shawna said. "I ordered one and was able to use it to return to my true form."
"Well that's what it's meant to do" the President said. "Now perhaps you can explain to me why you think they are conquerers."
"They conquered our planet" Rainna said.
"You have offered no proof of that" the President said.
"We can only offer you our word" Shawna said.
"The fact remains that they have helped us" the President said.
"Mr. President, we believe that they helped your scientists create the Chronivac to soften you up" Rainna said.
"The Chronivac can do more than change someone's gender" Shawna said. "It can change anything living into any other living thing. That includes things like bugs."
"They assured us that it could only be used to change gender" the President said.
"I was a white male" Shawna said.
"Where is the proof of this?" the President asked.
"If you'll come with us we can show you" Shawna said.
"This goes against my better judgment but I'll go with you" the President said.
"If you would come stand by us we can teleport out of here" Rainna said.
The President stood next to Shawna. Shawna grabbed his wrist and Rainna grabbed Shawna's. In the blink of an eye they were back in Shawna's apartment.
"How far can you teleport?" the President asked.
"On this planet, just about the equivalent of the length of the United States from coast to coast" Rainna said. "On other planets I can teleport anywhere on the planet and even to other planets in the system."
"How come you can't do that here?" the President asked.
"Because magic is very weak on this planet" Rainna said.
"I have the program up" Shawna said. She had been loading the Chronivac program while Rainna and the President were talking. "We don't have the emitter here so we can't turn someone into a bug but the program should be sufficient proof."
The President looked at the program for a few moments. After he was done he asked "This is the Chronivac program?"
"It is" Shawna said.
"This can do more than what they told us it could do" the President said. "If this gets into the general public's hands there'll be chaos. Society will crumble."
"We'll be honest with you" Shawna said. "We don't want to be here if this goes to the general public. We don't want to be here anyways but especially not if people can transform you into a roach if you annoy them."
"I understand that" the President said, "I don't want to be here if that happens either. I'll help you if you help us."
"What help would you like from us?" Shawna asked.
"Help with kicking those barbarians off Earth" the President said.
"How many are here on Earth?" Rainna asked.
"Only a couple at any one time" the President said. "Take me back to the Oval Office and I'll call the SGC. We'll go there after I contact them."
They teleported back to the Oval Office and, after the President made the call, to the SGC.
Upon arrival they were immediately ushered into General O'neill's office.
"Mr. President sir" O'neill said when they entered into his office. "You sounded like you had something important to tell me on the phone."
"I do Jack" the President said. "First, how many Barduu are here?"
"There are only two here at this time" Jack said. "They're scheduled to depart in two hours."
"We have a problem Jack" the President said.
"You know that I hate problems" Jack said.
"You were right Jack" the President said.
"That's just great" Jack said. "I tried to tell everyone that the Barduu couldn't be trusted. Nobody listened to me though. I suppose they want to take over the planet."
"That seems likely" Rainna said.
"Excuse me but, who are you?" Jack asked.
"I am Shawna, Queen of the Black Amazons of Qirmallah" Shawna said.
"And I am Rainna, High Witch of the Black Amazons of Qirmallah and Shawna's sister" Rainna said.
"How did you get here?" Jack asked. "You didn't come through the Stargate."
"I was cursed and sent to this planet" Shawna said.
"And I followed but my casting was interrupted and I ended up here almost 30 years ago instead of just three years ago" Rainna said.
"Who cursed you?" Jack asked.
"The Barbarians of Barduu" Shawna said.
Just then the two Barbarians came into Jack's office. "Amazon!" one of them shouted and rushed at Shawna. In the process he killed one of the service men in the room and took his rifle. The other service men open fired and killed the Barbarian. They then trained their weapons on the remaining Barbarian.
"Foolish humans" the Barbarian said. "Your weapons won't penetrate my shield. I suggest that you let me go back through the Stargate unless you want to die."
"That's not going to happen" Jack said.
"Then I'll destroy this whole complex" the Barbarian said.
"You couldn't even destroy yourself" Rainna said. "You're straining just holding your shield."
"And how would you know?" the Barbarian asked.
"I'm surprised that you don't remember me" Rainna asked. "You were the one that destroyed my staff and disrupted my casting after all. Because of that I was stuck in a male body for almost 30 years."
"So we finally find the witch" the Barbarian said. "We wondered if you had died because of that."
"But I didn't and now you're in serious trouble" Rainna said.
"You won't be able to harm me" the Barbarian said. "As you pointed out, I'm straining keeping my shield up. You should be able to sense that magic is weak on this planet."
"Of course I can" Rainna said.
"Then you know that you can't break through my shield" the Barbarian said.
"You seem to be under the impression that I'm just an ordinary witch" Rainna said. "I am in fact the High Witch of the Black Amazons of Qirmallah."
The Barbarians eyes grew wide with shock and fear. "N-n-no wonder we couldn't find you."
"You had me in your grasp but you didn't make your magical restraints strong enough" Rainna said.
"I don't care who you are" the Barbarian said. "We never give up our conquests and Earth is next."
"Like hell it is" Jack said. He picked up a knife from his desk and threw it at the Barbarian and it bounced off the shield.
"Did you really expect that to work?" the Barbarian asked.
Jack looks at the President and said "It works with the Goa'uld personal shields." He then turns to Rainna. "He seems to be afraid of you. Can you kill him?"
"I can" Rainna said.
"Then do it!" Jack said.
Rainna pointed her staff at the Barbarian and a ball of powder blue light shot out of the crystal. It dissipated against the Barbarians shield but a little of the energy made it through. The Barbarian staggered back a bit and before he could recover Rainna fired again. This time the ball hit the Barbarian in the chest and killed him.
"Is that Goa'uld technology?" Jack asked.
"It isn't technology, it's magic" Rainna said.
"That's what the Goa'uld say" Jack said.
"Believe what you wish General O'neill" Rainna said.
Just then the alarms sounded throughout the base.
"Unscheduled wormhole activation" a voice said over the PA. "Incoming traveler."
"Come with me" Jack said.
They went down to the control room.
"What do we have?" Jack asked.
"We have a confirmed IDC code" a sergeant said. "It's the Barduu sir."
"Keep the iris closed" Jack said.
"Sir?" the sergeant asked.
"You heard me, keep the iris closed" Jack said.
"Yes sir" the sergeant said.
After a few seconds a couple of thuds were heard and the gate disengaged.
"What was that?" Shawna asked.
"That was a couple of bodies hitting the iris" Jack said.
"Jack, these people want weapons to help them retake their planet" the President said.
"I think we can arrange that" Jack said.
"We also need someone to train us in the use of these weapons" Shawna said.
"That won't be a problem" Jack said. "Do you need any troops to help you?"
"We've already begun recruiting Amazons" Shawna said.
"I'll see if Teal'c will help" Jack said. "How many weapons will you need?"
"We don't know yet" Shawna said. "We'll let you know when we know."
"Alright" Jack said.