Samamtha got out of bed and I could see she was naked! "Put some clothes on already!" I cried.
She put on an extra large but ill-fitting dressing gown. "I'm sorry about the ring." she said, tugging at it again. (*Just say "I wish I could get it off!" I thought *What's wrong with you?*). "I'm also sorry about taking advantage when you were drunk. It's just that nobody wants to sleep with a blimp like me!"
(*This is it, I thought. She's going to say "I wish I was slimmer" and she'll find out the ring's secret for sure!*)
"I wish you were more attracted to fat women like me."
WHAT????