Figuring that, whatever you choose to do, you'll need to be wearing something that, unlike your current pair of pants, will stay up, you decide to head home.
Entering your bedroom, you eventually find a pair of drawstring gym shorts which, although ridiculously big, will at least stay put until you can buy something which fits. Taking those, and a t-shirt which used to be too small, but is now too big, and a pair of sandals (which might still be too large-- a stop at a shoe store seems in order), you head to the bathroom with the clothes to check yourself out before dressing.
Sitting on the counter is the jar of Age Cream...
You have the strange urge to try just a little more...