You race to the park. It's just passed six when you reach the fountain. The area is deserted except for a buff guy with an empty flattened gym bag on the bench next to him.
He looks up, looks at his watch and says, "'Bout time you got here. You're cutting it kinda close."
He sets the gym bag down and opens it. He looks up at you and orders, "Get in."
You glare at him, "You're kidding right?"
He stands, and you realize that he's your exact height and build.
"Guess, I'm going to have to pick you up," he says striding toward you.
You prepare to throttle the guy as his arms reach for you. His watch beeps. Your whole body stiffens. He jumps forward cursing, "Damn, too late. Now I'm really going to have to pick you up. One piece at a time."
Your teeth clench, your tongue presses and fuses with the back of your teeth. Your brain seems to be exploding. Your tongue separates from your mouth and becomes rigid and shrinks. Your teeth seem to expand you can feel air between them. It's weird, but you seem to think that your head has just change into a football helmet. Your teeth are the grill on the helmet, and your tongue is the attached plastic mouth guard. You tip forward falling off your neck and landing in the big guy's arms.
"Alas, poor Yoruck, I never knew ye," he laughs and chucks you into the gym bag. Your eyes are fixed as symbols or numbers on the sides of the helmet, and you watch as your body changes from a man into football gear right before your eyes. The stranger has ripped your clothing off what remains of your body. It's horrible. It's weird. It's incredible. You can still feel your body as your upper body's skin separates to form a jersey. Your shoulder bones and muscles reshape into shoulder pads. You cock and balls are reforming into a jockstrap and cup. Your shins are becoming shin guards. Your feet are becoming socks and cleats. You don't understand. But the whole situation seems unreal. It must be a dream. Maybe you bumped your head, and this is all a hallucination. But you have the nagging feeling it's all real.
It takes a few minutes for the guy to collect the heap of gear that is you and stow it in his now full gym bag. He hefts you on to his shoulder and begins walking home.