As I walked into the Petting Zoo arena groups of animals were penned on the outer ring of the circle. Dogs, Cats, Bovines, Equines, Hogs, Goats and Deer, alone with some strange animals which gave me chills about wanting to pet them.
At the entrance to the arena was a large sign. 'WARNING' Petting Zoo Rules:
1. Please do not feed the animals
2. Never hurt any of our animals
3. Do not try to remove the animals from their pens
4. Never touch an animals gender parts
5. Petting of animals is allowed, but at your own risk
6. Perverted Petting will be punished in severe manner
7. Park rules and punishments will be handled by the animal trainers
A tough group of rules, but the general public rarely shows and consideration for the weak and helpless. I opened a gate and stepped into the "Goat Herder's Zoo."
Three very interested nanny goats surrounded me and knibbled at my pockets and buttons. I was a little jumpy at first but past times with a friend's goat farm taught me to be calm.
The very big and hardy goats fauned on me till one bounced up and came to rest on my shoulders. Planting her forelegs over my shoulders she licked at my face in a frenzied greeting.
"Hey you buddy, called a angry looking trainer! Yea you, don't be playing with my goats like that, you have been warned, he ordered!"
I tried to explain but he ignored me, walking toward a couple of children as they argue about a small lamb.
The nannies' began to walk in circles around me and I felt they had a plan. As one goat reached her head out to nip my arm another one reached forward and ate the button holding my pants.
As I yelled at the one goat nipping my arm the sound of a ladies' scream was heard. Everybody turned to look at the woman who was pointing at me. Her reason for screaming became apparent quickly as my pants now without a button hit my ankles.
"Hey there pervert, you've been warned now I must act to save face for the Park and the children."
I was roughly grabbed and with my pants about the ankles rushed into a holding room with several other angry and worried people. Sitting down I pulled up my pants and thought today was not going to be one those truly fine days.
"Number 2 !"
A fat lady got up and hobbled to a pair of swinging doors. As we all sat there wondering what punishment might be divied out our thoughts were stamped flat by the lady's scream.
"Number 3 !"
A mod dressed teenager steps thru the swinging doors like she owned the place. Then a "No way, Hell, You go to Hell........." I saw a scene of real trouble as the girl almost made it back put the doors and into the waiting room. In the few short minutes she had entered the room her facial arrangement was altered. A part human part cat's face had for a second peered back thru the swinging doors.
"Number 5 !" I watched at a well dressed business man picked up his briefcase and walked sternly thru the doors. Looking about for number four another prisoner said, "She went out with a guard seems her husband paid the Park a ten thousand dollar fee."
No sounds came from number five's exit, as then the guard continued to call numbers till at long last he ordered me, number seventeen to come into the next room.
As I entered the looming tall black desk of a judge and several strong guards stood at each side of his desk. "How do you plea, asked the elderly graying man?"
"Plea, I asked, Not Guilty I said very loud!"
My arresting guard told the judge that I was warned and then in a cute move dropped my pants in the goat pen. "Wait a minute, I hollared! A nanny goat bit the front button off my pants, I didn't do this for fun!"
The guards laughed till the judge ordered them to take me to Exibitor number twenty seven and have held their for the judges' pleasure. My clothes were stripped from my body till I stood in underwear and socks.
Two guards pushed me along to a brick building with a sign on the front lawn. The sign read Judicial Punishment Division.