Derek entered the kitchen where he found his father leaning over a cup of coffee.
"Mom said your deal didn't go too well," he said cautiously. His father didn't look up at him.
Derek figured he should do something that made it look like he had a purpose for being in the kitchen. He got out two pieces of bread and stuck them in the toaster.
"They weren't willing to pay enough money," his dad grumbled. "I told them I couldn't do the job for less, and that was that."
"Sorry to hear that."
"It's totally unreasonable for them to ask for less. My boys do a better job than anyone. We've won awards for years of..."
Derek heard all of this before. His dad's standard "We're the best, why settle for the rest?" speech appeared whenever he lost a bidding war to another contractor. He pretended to listen while buttering his toast. This was the last thing he needed right now. While his dad droned on and on, his girlfriend was turned into a bag and sitting on his bedroom floor, probably furious as hell. The sooner he got her out of there, the better. Unfortunately it would look too suspicious if he dashed out the door so early on a Saturday. Besides, his parent's weren't too keen on Sonya as it was. His exit needed to be as casual as possible.
After another five minutes, his dad wrapped up his diatribe. Derek rinsed his plate off in the sink and mentioned going to a friend's house to work on a science project.
"This early? And don't they usually come over here?" his dad asked.
"Yeah. Uh, Shaun's kind of sick so we thought we'd work on it there." The skeptical look on his dad's face said he wasn't buying it. "Plus, he's got the new XBox."
"Ah," his dad winked. "I see. Have fun. I mean, work hard."
Derek forced himself to walk slowly up the stairs. He wanted to dash out the door that instant, but knew he had to keep cool. Every second Sonya spent as a duffel bag was like torture to Derek. He imagined being unable to move or talk, and being abandoned by his lover, not knowing when he'd be restored to his human self.
He put on a pair of socks and his shoes. Then he hoisted Sonya over his shoulder, being as careful as he could. "Here we go," he whispered.
His mom caught him on the stairs. "Derek?" she called from the master bedroom.
"Yeah?"
"You going out?"
"Yeah, to Shaun's."
"I'd like to take you shopping for some new clothes this weekend."
"Ma, I can get them myself."
His mom emerged into the hallway. "Like when? I've pestered you for weeks about your ratty old shirts. You're going to college in a few months and you don't want to look like you fell off the bus getting there."
"Okay okay, can we do it tomorrow?"
"That's fine," she said. To Derek's relief, she turned and walked back toward the bedroom. "It's like kids grow faster and faster these days. Every minute you get bigger and bigger."
Derek resumed walking down the steps, but didn't get very far when he realized Sonya was getting heavier. It felt like she was growing under his arm.
Panic finally set in and he shuffled quickly to the door. "It's chilly out," his dad said from the kitchen. "You'll need a fleece."
Now the hand resting on the growing duffel bag felt soft hairs growing out of it. His parents were inadvertently triggering the collar's spell!
In as steady a voice as he could manage, he yelled "Okay, dad. Bye." He grabbed a coat from the rack and practically jumped out the door. Sonya had doubled in size by now, and was completely covered in fluffy white wool as if she had been made out of a sweater. He hefted her into the backseat, and soon his car was speeding down the road in search of a private spot to change her back.
"Please don't kill me, Sonya." He said apologetically. "Please don't kill me."