As Barbara and Coyote walked out of the bar and walked the narrow and steep streets of
San Francisco the elder animal spirit spoke to the former concubine of the prince of the
fennec kitsune, "Ya know it'sa pity."
"What's a pity?" Barbara asked.
"I mean with the wool being pulled off of all the mortal eyes. It kinda derails what I
normally do for a date."
"Is that a fact?" Barbara raised an eyebrow.
"Yep! Yip! Normally on a date I'd go to the local park, reality warp a couple old ladies into
otter boys in swim trunks, and of course there was no shortage of gang members spraying
their graffiti to reality warp into little girls having a tea party. And of course reality warp
the random swimmer into a mermaid! But now, meh! Now that everyone knows magic
exists, and that the creatures of their dreams and nightmares are real, I feel like I've been
robbed of my play-dough!"
"Ya know, you could just find some people -willing- to change."
"Nice idea but still meh! Whao! Whao! Whao! Don't give me that look gorgeous! It doesn't
look like on a pretty vixen like you! Yeah, yeah I know the story behind you sweetie,
kitsune and yours truly have something of a business relationship. Look, it's not like I'd be
out to turn them into slaves or robots! Well, there was that one anime convention and this
lass who wanted to win the cosplay event with her Chaobits costume but that's besides the
point!"
Barbara remember the times when she had been Karther's doll Anne (now Akane/Akira)
had chatted ideally about some of the animes she knew (even as a zombified fox sex slave
she was still an otaku).
"You do realize that by turning her INTO a chaobit, she was no longer technically in
costume right and therefore cheating?"
"I saw that episode of Simpsons too! I didn't mind my cameo! The point is that I'm not out
to conquer the world or -torture- anybody! I just want to have some fun and games! And
now that 'memory charms' have gone the way of the cat-o-nine-tails, and humans no
longer can look at something supernatural and just tell themselves 'that doesn't exist so it
can't exist' I feel like I've lost my main source of fun! I've reality warped green activists
into dryads, trolls into truck drivers, I even once reality wrapped this little boy's pet dog
into his little brother. The CHARM for me is the obviousness! The way I could change
whatever I wanted as long it didn't result in murder and just watch the mortals go about
their business without a clue that things had been different before hand. But now, the
divine all signed an universal agreement now that the wool is gone, we absolute chaos
types aren't allowed to rewrite the space time continuum on a whim anymore! And above
all we're not allowed to rewrite the memories of everyone and their grandma anymore! It
ruins the ability for me to keep the thrill fresh! It's just not right I tell you!"
"My heart bleeds." Barbara said dryly.
"Okay, I can understand your cold reception to that given how the punk brat royally
screwed ya over.... okay, I DO apologize for that one. But the point is babe, your my first
date since the walls came down, and I can't do what I normally do ask you who you like or
dislike and reality warp them into whatever species you find fitting anymore..."
"Well, I've gotten from the news that my sisters kicked Karther's butt and a new kitsune
who seems a lot saner fennec is on the throne. And compared to THAT, anyone else I
hated before just seems petty."
"I can do petty." Coyote said -almost- (but never completely) meekly.
"But I don't want to. And after havin' my DNA screwed without my permission, I'd rather
not drop that on anyone, I don't suppose you could just ASK someone for what they want,
and use the old 'who really knows what they want' motif to watch them get a taste of
reality and get your trill off of that?"
"Hmmmm... actually did one or two of those... about half beg me to change them back
after about a time of the month... but it just doesn't feel the same!"
"YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE!" A man in dirty clothes reeking of booze pointed a rusted
cutting knife at the elder animal spirit and fox woman. He had jumped out of the alleyway
when the pair had walked onto a less traveled by street.
Coyote snapped his fingers and the mugger lost twenty years of life, his Y chromosome,
and his high school drop out education. The little girl in the pretty dress blinked a couple
of time confused before smiling at the two and held out a basket, "Help starvin' families in
Arfica?"
Barbara stared and as if in a dream put a dollar coin in basket, the girl curtsied and
skipped off onto a grade-school bus.
Barbara stared at Coyote, "You... but you said..."
Coyote held up his hands, "Self defense babe, well, defense of you, totally different rules
apply. And it's not like I erased his -existence-! I just made him be born a couple decades
later, changed one part of his DNA sequence, and made it so her parent will spank her
when she needed to be spanked and hugged when she needs to be hugged. Besides, his
fate thread had that he was gonna die in a fight over some thick liquor within two years,
now as things stand she dies of a heart attack in her fifties due to a genetic disorder she'll
never know she has after writing two children's books."
".... If you can do all that...and mess with her DNA in the first place... why not undo that
disorder while you're at it?"
"Babe, what would be the POINT of her life if I fixed ALL her problems FOR her?"
"... You didn't bring us down this street in -particular- so you could do that did you?"
"Babe, as much as I'd love to take credit for that, and just to see you go crazy figuring out
weather I did or not, that guy wasn't part of my scheme."
"So you don't have everything worked out perfectly?"
"I'm -Chaos- girlie, if I could figure out everything perfectly, it would kinda miss the
point. Say... as long as we're on the subject... how you'd like to be a shaved monkey again
with the ability to produce sperm? I know you don't care for the shallow types that have
been floatin' your way ever since you got back home."
"You think I'm crazy enough to accept a gift from -you?-" 'And I told that fennec boy that
I'd -think- about it.'
"You... are a very smart lady, heh, I must be cursed."
"Figured that since I used to be a he that I'd wouldn't poke at your weak point?"
"A very VERY smart lady... heheheh. So, since I can't take you on a safari of reality warping,
what do YOU suggest we do for an evening together?"
"You're going to find a way to ironically twist any suggestion I give right?"
"Absolutely!" Coyote said without shame.
"Fine then! Let's go all out then, how about a dance on the rings of Saturn?"
Coyote stared for one second then burst out laughing, making many many people look at
him having long left the secluded street behind. "Babe! I like you!"
Coyote grabbed Barbara's hand, and in a moment they were in her apartment's bed room.
Before Barbara could ask Coyote pushed on Barbara's forehead... it almost felt like his
fingers were pushing into her brain yet somehow still pushing on her forehead. Coyote
then said, "Turn around."
Barbara did so and gasped when she saw herself on the bed.
"Don't worry babe, you're not dead, you're just having an out of body experience, your
meat sack home stead is still alive and will remain alive unless you spend so long away
from it it starves to death or the like or someone sets the building on fire to collect
insurance or a burglar comes in here or the like."
"What a lovely thought..." Barbara said knowing she'd feel sick right now if she had a
stomach.
"Don't worry about it sweetie." Coyote snapped out his fingers and he was no longer a
solid manifestation. "If you do accidently die, I'll see about you becoming an elder spirit of
chaos like me! Of course your spiritual projection would need some upgrades, but meh,
like I said, 'if'. So, ya said you wanted to dance on the rings of Saturn right? Let's dance
baby!"
Coyote and Barbara spent the next several hours dancing on the rights of saturn, visible
manifestations, by pure and -honest- chance for once there were no man made space
telescope shots of the event (pity since Barbara would have wanted a copy), a flying saucer
did happen by, the crew took one look at what they saw. The ETs decided they must all be
suffering mentally from too much stress, then they check their equipment, and decided
their scanners must have all been suffering a serious malfunction, and FLED to the nearest
outpost of their species for a total overhaul of their ship and several cycles worth of clearly
overdue vacation time! Coyote's laugh echoed in their hearing holes.