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Oh, Look Who's Here: Your Pal the Sex Fairy

added by Catfish 14 years ago O

You hear a high female voice from behind you. "So what do you think?"

You turn around to see the sex fairy hovering behind you. "What did you do to me?" you ask angrily.

"Nothing since I gave you your current form," she says. "I thought you might loosen up if your living space were improved, but maybe not."

"I thought you only had power over sex!" you exclaim.

"You don't think putting you in a gigantic, luxurious house is related to sex?" she asks. "Come on, I'll give you a guided tour." She flies inside, straight through the door. You have to open them back up to proceed.

"This is your bedroom, obviously," she says. "Plenty of magical creature comforts. The contents of your closet will always be stylish and look great on you. There's a button on the TV remote that will make anyone you want appear nude. Oh, and I guess I should tell you, I did change your parents."

"What? Wait, what?"

"Nothing major," she says. "I just gave them different jobs, to improve the basic reality of this situation -- to make it reasonable that you'd have a house like this."

"Oh, my God. What did you do?"

"Okay, your father is a porn movie producer --"

"What?!" you bellow.

"Highly successful, and very well respected by the actors and crew who work for him." Seeing the expression on your face, she adds, "Sorry, but with my powers, I had to give them jobs related to sex."

"So, what, my mother's a stripper?"

"Of course not!" exclaims the sex fairy, but then she adds, "Although..." She trails off and reassures you, "No, you can't buy a place like this with one-dollar bills. Your mother is a sex therapist and best-selling author."

"A sex therapist?

"That's right," says the fairy. "Very famous, although I should warn you that some of her views are a bit controversial. She's gotten them accepted here in this town, but they're not as popular elsewhere."

"You mean like --"

"Like having frequent sex with multiple partners is good for high school students. Pretty good reality change from your perspective, huh?" The sex fairy folds her arms.

"Well...no!" you exclaim.

"Ugh," she says. "All this and I still need to do more to loosen you up?!"


What do you do now?


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