You gasp as the air is knocked out of you when you hit the marble slab. The guy flips your naked doughy body over, and begins pounding you with his fists.
"Oof! Hey! Oof!" you try to struggle against the giant and make yourself heard. He needs to know you're a person and not dough. He kneads you some more with his dextrous fingers. You pop a boner but his fist smashes it.
"Yeow! Oof! Hey, sto - oof! Can't yooof!" you blurt as he continues to pound you and starts to rotate you and stretch you.
The next thing you know he's spiinning you and tossing you in the air. You realize that you doughy body is continuing to stretch you thinner and thinner as he tosses you using centrifugal, and centripedal force to flatten you.
"Heyyyy, whyyyyyyy you sppppinnnin' meeeee?" you gasp as you spin at a dizzying speed.
The Italian brute manhandling you shouts angrily, "Pizza don' spik!"
You land with a plop on the flour covered marble slab. Exhausted and breathless. The chef ladles tomato sauce over you.
"Now let see, garlic, mushrooms, pineapple, tomatoes, pepperoni, peppers, and oh, fresh coconut?" he says as he drops the ingredients on you, you remember this combination is your frat house's special pizza. Your eyes would widen if they weren't already as wide and flat as they could be and weren't covered with tomato sauce - as you realize that you're being made into a pizza for your frat bros to eat!
The wooden paddle is shoved under you, and then suddenly you feel a blast of heat. Your backside lands on the hot pizza stone and you hear your skin sizzle.
"Datta right, dough boy, youse baking now into z'pizza!" exclaims the chef as he slams the door to the oven with a clang.