Lisa awoke first on Tuesday morning, a disturbing notion in her mind. She remembered Kira saying that their skin would no longer be visible by the time the hair reached 1.5 inches, probably less because of the curl.
Playing with the algebra she’d taken in eighth grade, she came up with a simple function formula to calculate how much time she’d have before the skin disappeared under the growth: Hair coverage (a percentage) = hairs per centimeter(constant) multiplied by curl per millimeter (a percentage) multiplied by length in millimeters…
F(x) = 40.8 * y * z
She ran her hand over the hair on her breasts as she checked out the dermatologist’s printout “curl ratio/chest .078 mm.” That wouldn’t change, nor would the hairs per square cm (240). At a width of .17mm, straight, they would cover 40.8% of the skin. The hair on Lisa’s chest was now 14.945 mm long.
“Forty seven point fifty-six percent coverage. Tomorrow it will be...53.89%. Each day I lose 6.33 percent of my visible skin…”
She did the math. Her chest would be totally covered with hair in nine days. Thursday of next week. She began whimpering as she calculated the time for the slowest growth: her upper arms.
“1.1 curl per inch equals 0.0443 curl per millimeter, hairs are .12 mm wide, rate of growth .748 mm per day, constant 240 hairs multiplied by .12. Okay, that’s 28.8% coverage. The hairs are now…(whine) just under 6 mm long.” Her visible skin would disappear at the rate of 0.957% per day.
By February 16, 2010, Lisa Papadakis would be completely covered with hair. “No,” she thought worriedly, “the hairs will be growing longer as well. If they grow more or less straight, then I should just increase the number of hairs by 240 for each centimeter. At 28.8% coverage per cm, 2 cm would make it 57.6, then 86.4…then 115.2% at 4 cm, so then…”
She swallowed hard. “So Merry Christmas, Lisa.”
Lisa Papadakis
(80 follicles per cm2- 3 hairs – hairs .16 mm wide)
Date
Rate mm 11/14
Chin 0.00/4.01 mm/.1007 curl per millimeter
Jaw 0.01/3.92 mm/.1035 cp-mm
Cheek 0.02/7.21 mm/.102 cp-mm
Chest 1.989/8.978 mm/.078 cp-mm
Navel 2.033/9.066 mm/.07677 cp-mm
Pubic 2.251/9.5 mm/.1218 cp-mm
Upper back 1.28/4.56mm/.0551 cp-mm
Lower back 1.41/4.82mm/.0629 cp-mm
Buttocks 1.47/ 4.94mm/.0708 cp-mm
Upper Arm 0.748/3.496mm/.0433 cp-mm
Lower Arm 1.09/4.18mm/.0472 cp-mm
Upper Leg 1.291/4.58mm/.0512 cp-mm
Lower Leg 1.324/4.648 mm/.0551 cp-mm
Jennifer Smith
(112 follicles per sq cm- 3 hairs – hairs .13 mm wide)
Chin 0.00/4.01 mm/.1101cp-mm
Jaw 0.01/3.92 mm/.1104 cp-mm
Cheek 0.02/7.21 mm/.1098 cp-mm
Chest 1.989/8.978 mm/.071cp-mm
Navel 2.033/9.066 mm/.0727 cp-mm
Pubic 2.251/9.5 mm/.1429 cp-mm
Upper back 1.28/4.56mm/.0641cp-mm
Lower back 1.41/4.82mm/.0716 cp-mm
Buttocks 1.47/ 4.94/.0745 cp-mm
Upper Arm 0.748/ 3.496mm/.0412 cp-mm
Lower Arm 1.09/4.18mm/.0392 cp-mm
Upper Leg 1.291/4.58mm/.0658 cp-mm
Lower Leg 1.324/4.648 mm/.0709 cp-mm
“What the HELL are you doing, girlfriend?”
The shock was such that Lisa was surprised that she didn’t sprout a two-foot beard right there.
“Shhhh, Jen. We must be calm, we must be calm.” She held out her hands in homage of a certain Texan sheriff from Smokey and the Bandit…
“Hommmmme hommmmmeee hommmme…Ok, all calm now. What I’m doing is figuring out how long we’ve got before we’re covered with this stuff,” she teased the hair on Jen’s forearm.
“.....Analysis Mister Spock?”
“Analysis is that your chest will be completely covered with hair by next Thursday. So will mine. It’s…thickening by a little more than 6 percent each day on our chests. Altogether honey, the last of our visible skin will disappear on Christmas day.” Lisa smiled and sighed. “Sorry.”
Jen swallowed audibly, then made a feeble joke about people with too much time on their hands that I resented, darn her. They continued on for a very rushed shower and breakfast, telling Andy and Carol between gulping their food that they would have to stop at Kelly’s house.
Jen: Weneedto stop by (gulp) kelly’shousafterschooland
Lisa: Makeshursheedumpedthemilk (gulp)
Jen: (gulp) herboobieswereproducing (gulp)
Carole: ACHTUNG UND HALT!! Sssslow down ladies. What’s that about Kelly?
“Kelly has been producing milk, Mom. She told us last week that she had saved it and gave some to Lindsey.”
“(gulp) Lindsey!? Lisa, that girl isn’t even 12 years old!”
“Well-spotted. We of course forcefully suggested that she dispose of the milk. It’s seething with hormones, and we certainly don’t want that poor little girl suffering our fate”
Realization dawned on the face of Mrs. Papadakis. “She didn’t show up last night. (And I don't want my little girls suffering your fate).”
“No Carole. Her parents are Merger and Acquisition specialists, and they don’t have time for children,” Jennifer informed her acidly. “And Kelly, bless her soul, is intelligent enough, but doesn’t have the common sense the good Lord gave a garden slug.”
Carole held up her hands. “Enough said. You’re late. I’ll drive you straight to school…and you take all the time you need coming home. Let me know how things work out. Girls, I’m very serious, you just observe and report. Don’t confront her directly, just tell me. If you don’t like what you see, I’m going to have to call Child Protective Services for both their sakes.”
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Tuesday afternoons at school meant Physical Education for Heather, Beth, and Lisa. They had pleaded to deaf ears that they be excused from gym class for the duration.
Even worse was that open-bay showers were required. At least the water was hot. Lisa and Jennifer put on their jumpsuits in the toilet stalls, and headed out to the field for a rigorous game of touch football…and all too soon it was time for the showers.
They tarried as long as possible, but it soon became obvious that everyone was waiting to see what Coach Cromarte had done to their classmates. “Too hell with it,” they agreed and began to undress. Muffled gasps and not a few sympathetic sobs were heard as Lisa, Beth, and Jennifer removed their clothing. Beth was horrified at what she saw: her own fate staring her in her face. The junior was petite but well-developed. Even having just been milked, her breasts stood out proudly, and a neatly-trimmed but expansive and thick white bush nestled boldly between her thighs.
An almost imperceptible new dusting of fuzz covered the girl’s body from head to toe.
Their classmates were horrified as well, and felt terrible for them. A few snide remarks were summarily shouted down. With all the sympathetic hugs and promises that this would change nothing among them, it was a while before Jennifer (the diplomat) were able to call ahead to Kelly’s house.
“’lo?” It was Lindsey.
“Lindsey? Hey, it’s Jenny from cheerleading.” A few moments of silence before recognition.
“Jenny!? Hiii!!”
“Hi, kiddo, is Kelly there?”
“Yep, she’s with her tutor. I guess you know she got taken out of school?”
“Of course. We miss her. Can we talk to her?”
They heard the patter of feet, then a Scandinavian-sounding male voice.
“Ja? Er, hello?”
“…Er, Hi Kelly. Hey, do you mind if Lisa and Beth and I come over?”
“No…not at all – wait let me check with Sven to make sure it’s all right.”
Lisa, Beth and Jen listened to a passionate exchange in a Scandinavian-sounding tongue. Lisa thought she recognized a few words of Swedish, but the conversation was to fast for her to be sure.
“Sven says fine. See you in a few minutes, you guys! Takk takk!”
In a few minutes they were greeted by Sven, a 27 year old graduate student from Columbia. Columbia University, he was from Malmo, Sweden, not Columbia…the country. Naturally they exchanged pleasantries, talked a bit about Ivy League life to which they all aspired. He was fully aware of the girl’s case.
“In Sveeden, she’d get may-be three years. For this I think that’s maybe not enough, zey shewd hang tse bitch, yew agree?”
Zey all did. “But we’d be satisfied with a lengthy incarceration,” added Lisa hastily. Sven promised to return tomorrow at 11 am and continue the instruction.
“What’s up guys?”
“Kelly,” asked Lisa, “did you get rid of the milk like we suggested.”
“Nnnnnnoooo. You see guys, I just thought the taste was really good, and I hated that it might be wasted. Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry. I already talked it over with Lindsey. I bought her a gallon of her own milk, and I put a large red label on mine…so there is no confusion.”
Kelly got up and brought out three jugs of milk. Two were labeled in red with “Mjölk-Kelly.”
“See guys, everything’s safe. But I’m really glad you girls are sticking together an’ lookin’ out for me and my sisters. Those hormones are nasty things, aren’t they?”