I couldn't help but wish that she was both bigger and lighter. My mind
drifted off to the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Krystal began to swell larger pushing the shop clerks and manager away
from her ever expanding body.
The manager said in a concerned voice, "She'll never fit out the door.
If she keeps growing like this we'll all end up crushed against the
walls. Vera, you're closest to the phone, call 911!"
"What do I tell them?"
"Tell them the truth! We have a woman in our shop who is too big to
exit and growing bigger by the second. Now call!"
"Yes, sir," she says dialing. She looks up from the phone, and says,
"I'm on hold..."
"Ms. Matisse, get the fire axe, we may have to cut ourselves out of
here!"
"You're not going to cut me with an axe," roared Krystal. Who now
sported a ten foot waistline, but was still expanding. A rack of
scarves toppled as her girth dislodged it from where it stood.
"No, madam, of course not. The axe is for the wall, if needs be.
Vera, have you got the 911 operator yet?"
"Sorry, sir, still on hold. Uh, I think she's getting taller too."
"Sacre bleu! She's floating. Aha, a helium filled fat suit!" said
the manager, "Is this Candid Camera or Punk'd or some other reality
stunt show?"
He grabbed a long steel hat pin.
"I wouldn't do that," I say.
He moves to jab her now 15 foot waistline with the pin.