"I'm going to be a real stud after I roll a one," says Dustin throwing
the die.
It spins. It bounces. It tumbles to a stop on three.
"Dustin, you're gonna be such an animal," teased Kent slapping
Dustin's shoulder.
"Alright, everybody, you get to decide what animal Dustin will be. Any
suggestions?" Ty asked.
"HUMAN!" shouted Dustin.
There was nervous laughter. "Any other suggestions?"
"How about a cow? A good milker with a full udder," said Peter, "I
haven't had really fresh warm milk since I came down here from
Canada."
"A cow? Hey, I'm a guy, transgender wasn't even one of the options in
the game!" protested Dustin.
"Okay, we have cow? Any others?"
"I read giraffes don't make any noise with their throats - or maybe if
they do nobody can hear them. So how about a giraffe then we won't
have to hear Dustin's constant prattle," suggested Kent.
Ty's game had attracted a small gathering of people.
A groundskeeper in an orange shirt with a plastic identification tag
who was clearly there as part of community service shouted out, "How
about an albino python?"
A little girl who had wandered over from the swings said, "I say
pony!"
Her two friends shouted in unison, "Yes, pony! Pony! Pony!"
Dustin's eyes went wide. Those cute little girls suddenly looked very
fat to him. He was certain if that's what Ty turned him into, he'd be
spending the rest of the day giving snotty brats pony rides.
"How about a big ol' bear," shouted a little boy.
"I say sheepdog, like in those Shaggy Dog movies!" said another boy.
"Yeah, Shaggy Dog! Shaggy Dog!" chanted his friend.
Soon the girls were chanting "Pony, Pony, Pony!" and the boys were
chanting "Shaggy Dog, Shaggy Dog, Shaggy Dog!"
"Cow! Cow!" chanted Peter nudging Kent.
Kent raised an eyebrow, "Giraffe!"
The whole time Dustin had buried his head in hands and was shouting,
"No, no, no!"
"Python!" shouted the groundskeeper motioning for other groundskeepers
to join the group.
"Quiet!" shouted Ty, "Let's have a civil vote. So far I have 1) Cow,
2) Giraffe, 3) Python, 4) Pony, 5) Bear, 6) Shaggy Dog. Are there any
other nominations?"
"Human Animal!" shouted Dustin.