"Let's see, with a magic Jonas Brothers ring, I could make myself a
popular singer even if I'm not that good. I could have my own hit TV
show, even if I can't act. Oh, wait, didn't the Jonas Bros have some
sort of chastity ring thing a few years ago? You know pledge to give
up or not have sex until marriage? Still I wouldn't mind forgoing sex
for a while in exchange for magic wishes," Kevin said rubbing the
stubble on his chin.
"I said "Choness Ring, not Jonas Ring," explains the ring, but Kevin
isn't really paying attention.
"Maybe it only let's me become one of the Jonas brothers. Do I want to
be the guy who's married or getting married? Then I could have sex and
the magic too. I wonder what she looks like? Still the little guy is
hot, I wonder if gay marriage counts. I mean, he's gay right? Isn't
he? Or is that the middle one? Odds are one of them's gay right? Not
sure if I should -" Kevin mumbles on lost in thought recalling bits
and pieces of tabloid stories.
"Alright, Jonas, Choness, whatever, I'll go along with it, just make a
wish already, it's been a friggin' 5000 years, and I really really
need to grant a wish," complains the ring.
"Whoa is granting wishes like sex or something for you?"
"Your mind has a story about Vulcans who mate once only every 7 years,
and how crazy they get when they're in heat. Okay, granting wishes is
kind of like sex for magical beings like me, only instead of 7 years,
it's been 5000 years, now make a wish, any wish, just start making
wishes. You are my master this time around, and I can only grant your
wishes until you die."
"Die? Am I going to die soon? I wish I could live forever with a life
like those guys have on the Disney Channel," Kevin says.
The ring sighs in relief and let's its magic potency flow.
A title sequence forms around Kevin, "THE CHASTE LIFE WITH KEVIN JONAS
- THE OTHER BROTHER."
"Whoa!" says Kevin running up and putting his palm flat against the
inside of the TV Screen, "I thought I'd be on a studio set with
cameras and shit. I never thought I'd really be inside the TV. It's
weird, I can see into all these people's homes. Haha, Tyler Jones is
masturbating to the Disney Channel? That's fucked up," laughs Kevin.
Tyler jumps up and turns off the TV manually ignoring the remote in
his bed next to him. He sits at the foot of his bed looking at the
black screen.
"That was weird. There must be a thousand other Tyler Jones in the
world, but that guy really seemed to be looking right at me. He was
kind of cute, but I thought Suite Life on Deck was supposed to be on
now, and Dylan and Cody are really cute." With great hesitation,
Tyler turns back on the TV, and watches as Kevin Jonas' show unfolds.