"Nah, I'll pass on that. I've caught my breath, show me where the gym
is located. The sooner I shed 50lbs, the sooner I'll feel better,"
you say lift your huge belly and letting it drop. It does bounce like
a bowl full of jelly.
"Right this way then. We go down to the next building, pass some more
suites, and the gym's located in that building where the cafe is in
this one," said the resort worker.
"Okay, well, here I go then," you say pushing yourself out of the
chair and plunging back into the cold. You stagger down the steps and
pathway to the building further down the slope.
You see two people having an animated discussion on the walkway. As
you get closer, you recognize Apolo Ohno as one of the two. He's
dressed ridiculously.
"Now I'll tell you again what happened. You're the head of security,
you should be able to do something. I was taking a shower when this
scrawny kid broke in. He was wearing my speed skating suit. It was
way to big for him. I got out of the shower, and he flashed my
picture. I was temporarily blinded. When I got out into my room. I
discovered all my stuff was gone. I put on the clothing I found in my
room. I think it must belong to the scrawny kid. Look at me- you can
see these don't fit me."
"Calm down, Mr. Ohno, I'm sure they will fit. It's just some people
react differently to the flash. Now while we've been talking, your
cuffs have to have gotten 2 inches closer to your feet."
"What? That's impossible! You mean I'm shrinking and that's normal?"
"Oh, Apolo, thank god I found you. You'll never guess what Shaun White
did to me!"
"Uh, do I know you?"
"It's me, Nate Holland, you know?" you say pointing at your chest and
extending your arms. Then you slap your forehead, "Doh! Of course, you
don't recognize me. I don't even recognize me. That rotten tomato
signed me up for a "free" vacation, but he left out the fine print. He
gets a free vacation because he's coaching one of their guests. I get
a free vacation, 'cause the guest gets to use my body, and I'm stuck
with theirs for two weeks."
"That's a load. Oh, I get it, where's Ashton Kuchner. I'm being Punk'd
aren't I?"
"Your hair just turned red, Apolo," you say.
"What? But this is impossible!" Apolo says turning to see his
reflection in the window behind him.
"Calm down, Mr. Ohno, when your gradual transfer is complete, you'll
be a teenager again, and the teen who's using your body will be
trained and supervised by JR," the security head explained. "Now why
don't you go back into your suite with Mr. Holland, and draw up some
weight reduction regimens for Nate, and some muscle building exercises
for Apolo."
"My muscles are missing!" Apolo said as his shoulders sagged and his
chest deflated.
The security officer and the resort worker accompanying Nate guided
the two back into Apolo's suite, and got them both to sit down. As
you watch, Apolo's muscles vanish. The clothes he's wear now hang
loosely on him, like they're a size or two too big. Apolo's nose has
developed a Bob Hope-esq ski jump shaped nose. When he breathes now
his nose whistles.
Holland does his best to console Apolo. As they sit at the table they
see the young man wearing Apolo's body and his skating suit run by the
window.
"That's me!"
"Yeah, and I was Nate Holland," you say, "And I will be again in 2
weeks when this nightmare vacation ends."
"Two weeks? JR signed me up for a whole 3 months here!" Apolo screams
dropping his head into his hands.
You turn to the Resort employee who has been quietly with you two this
whole time.
"Why did his change take so long, and mine was instanteous?"
"Oh, the bodyswap rays have several settings. We ask the guest who'll
be wearing the celeb body which method they prefer. Your guest wanted
to be suddenly Nate Holland. Whereas the little dude wanted to grow
into Apolo Ohno's speedsuit over several hours...