I walked into Ethan's apartment and looked about the mess. "Were is Drake I have some of his books that the Bookstore sent to our apartment by mistake." I said.
Ethan stood there looking wide eyed and stupid, as normal. In his grasp was an old oil lamp straight from the Ali Bobo and his fourty sex fiends.
"Planning a trip to the middle east, hmmm. I see you have a rural flashlight of the times! Now where's Drake?" I asked with a little disgust.
"Drake, oh he's visiting some friends at a farm nearby!" spouted Ethan.
"Great, how long will he be gone I want to talk to him about the upcoming theater program, he's the director you remember?" I said with even more contempt.
Ethan seem extremely nervous as he paced about. If I had a bet Ethan was in knowledge of something which involved Drake, and maybe Drake was in some sort of trouble. As i stood there glarring at Ethan he turned and said he needed to pee.
"Boys!" I said as he set the oil lamp down on the book shelf and ran down the hall to his relief. I walked closer to the odd artifact and picked it up for a look.
The sides of this silver old lamp had writings all over it. Ethan's sweat still clung to the sides so I flipped out my hankerchef and proceeded to shine the object clean.
The rise of white smoke from it's spout made me stand stiff in terror.
Out of the smoke began to appear one strong dude! Well not a dude but a very mighty looking burly man with a black beard and a Jewish face.
"Blessed be the person who cleans and shines this my home!" he said in a bold and loud manner.
Suddenly Ethan turned the corner and tried to grab the lamp from my hands.
"STOP! Infidel, or feel the wrath of this Genie's might!" yelled the Genie.
Ethen stood looking nose to nose with the Genie and grumbled, "Remember me I own the lamp and I am your master!"
The Genie grinned, "You were the possesor' of the lamp as was your past friend Drake, but she has shown kindness and polished the lamp. She, here is the true owner of the lamp and my much prefered master!"
I smiled at Ethan, and then looked the Genie in his bold but friendly face. "Drake, past friend, Ethan you and Drake are the best of buddies where.... is... Drake?"
Ethan stammered, but the Genie looked at him and then turned to me. "My previous holders of the lamp proved to be selfish and cruel. Each played tricks on the other till niether remembered the value of human life. The man you seek was changed by his own foolish wish to visit Ethan last night. These two fools wished themselves to be gay bulls in a stockyard. All night long one would mount the other in a frienzy of sexual thrills. In the morning I returned Ethan to this room as per the directive of Drake. However Drake in his urgency made a wish to be as his friend for one evening. Then to return with his changed friend back to this room. Drake did not wish himself correctly and he returned the bull he was for last night. Ethan the weak soul he is heard your knocking and had me send Drake to live out his life a very endowed bull on a cattle farm. Even now he has mounted not less than six cows in these many minutes. The over sexed sex drive part of Ethan's wish has kicked in at full force and Drake may be lost to the world and remain a bull." explained Genie.
I just starred at Ethan, then looking to the Genie I asked, "Genie, what if I made a wish could Drake be a man again as before?"
The Genie's turned to scowl at Ethan, "No Master, his wish and last nights orgy has doomed him to think from bovine sexual instincts. The human he was is gone from this earth. The bull life he has accepted, a lives as we speak."
"Ethan, what do you plan to tell Drake's parents about his their college student being a bull and a sire of calves?" I asked.
Ethan stammered and stood looking first at me and then to the Genie.
"Genie, can you make a replacement Drake? I mean with all the human memories of family, friends, and events." I asked.
The Genie began to smile, "What a warm and kind heart you have for these fools of fools. Yes, I could make another Drake, but I need something to begin with and stealing one human to replace another is just as wrong for both, don't you agree Master?"
"Hmmm," I pondered and then it hit! "Genie what if you took one of the bull calves from Drakes farm and used it to make the new and more cared and considerate Drake?"
"What a bull calf Drake? That won't work out besides I won't live with some bovine fodder in my room. You make it, don't expect me to live here and carry on you crazy plan, no way!" exclaimed Ethan.
"Well it was a thought!" I said showing a sadness in my voice.
"NO MASTER, No! It is a good plan and easy for one such as I! Master your plan is sound but I see one small flaw." as he turned to stare at Ethan.
"What?" spouted Ethan.
"The Master's plan is a good plan for all concerned. Yet you are not in the willing spirit of this time of trouble. If it be easy for me to make a calf into a new and fine person, then it's just as easy to do it twice!" said the Genie as he turned to gaze at me.
"Yes, and damn you Ethan to live with Drake as one of those sexy cows he loves to mount! GENIE, send this damn fool to the farm! To live as a breeder cow under Drakes mounting love. Let the two of them live their lives in the length of human years and have Ethan remember his total memory and this curse too!"
The word Please issued from Ethan's mouth and ended as a soft cow like Mooo. I saw for an instant a mixed breed cow and then with a puff of smoke no doubt he found himself as herself in a pasture.
In second's there stood before me two friendly and greatful young men. The Genie beamed of pride as both approached me and kneeled down.
"Blessed by this wonderful woman who has graced us to live as humans. We were dropped as calves from our Mother's womb to a cold cruel world to be calves, and then steers. We are greatful for this life which you wish has led us to know. We, Ethan and I Drake shall be your friend for life!" said a calf now named Drake.
As I left the books for Drake and pressed the Genie's lamp into my toe bag I saw the two new humans talking about their adventures ahead.
I thought too of the many things now in my power to arrange and teach those stupid males out there.