You sit down in the lobby and read the cover sheet and forms on the clipboard that the receptionists handed you.
It indicated that all the current experiments dealt with Quantum Darwinism. They range for $100 blood test where the subjects DNA is sampled and studied to a $75,000 per year study that could go on indefinitely. With the collapse of the dot com companies, you find your college major in low demand, and have until now been slinging hamburgers at the local Mickey D's.
You fill out your vital statistics, and sign the necessary waivers. You hand the paperwork in to the receptionist. She hands you a blue pamphlet entitled Layman's Guide to Quantum Darwinism.
It tells you that the Classic Darwinian Theory of Evolution is passe. It doesn't hold water. A fish doesn't gradually evolve into an amphibian. The actual fossil record showed sudden leaps or jumps in speciation. An Illustration showed the similarities and differences between the Great Apes. Man is listed among the great apes. An antatomical comparason shows the distinct differences, and describes the differences as quanta instead of branches of the same family as in traditional Darwinian taxonomy (naming).
It goes on to explain that there is only a 2% difference in the DNA between gorillas and humans, and draws the comparason with atomic chemistry of each species being a diffent quanta level like electrons in orbit around an atomic nucleus.
Heavy, but for $75,000 a year, they must know what they're doing.
The receptionist calls you back. A huge orderly dressed all in white escorts you back into an exam. You glance at the pamphlet in your hand and at the back of the orderly, you think that he's living proof that humans are related to apes.
He asks you to strip, and to put your clothing in one of the lockers against the wall. He padlocks the locker and gives you the key on a string, it's also attached to a numbered ID badge. You ask for a gown. He says they haven't got any, and to relax. He draws blood.
He escorts you into the next exam room with a big leather and metal table. He locks you in. You sit there naked and cold and wonder what you've gotten yourself into.
Ten minutes later, a short frenetic man enters. He is rattling on about your genetic print out and the similarities to both the gorilla and orangutang are amazing. He points to a graph that looks kind of like an EKG. The big ape of an orderly has entered quietly, and grabs you from behind pinning your arms to your side. You kick and struggle, but there's nothing you can do.
"I'm Dr. Jules Vernon, and Bruno is holding you because these injections will hurt like hell."
"What injections?" you ask.
"These injections," and he stabs you in the stomach with a syringe. The chemical burns. You scream. Bruno forces you back on to the table. He and Dr. Vernon strap you down. You look up to see that the ceiling is completely mirrored. You can see sporadic muscle contractions all over your body, obviously in response to the first injection. You notice the pain and stretching in your hands and feet first. The doctor gives you two more injections in the abdomen. You scream. You can see that your anatomy is changing you look more like the drawings of the apes than man. Your arms have grown longer, and you notice that stubbly hairs are growing all over your body. Even on your forhead. You jokingly think, great now I've got to shave my monobrow. This can't be happening. Your skull is changing shape, your nose is broadening, your ears are flattening and shrinking, your forehead seems to be compressing. Your genitallia seem to be shrinking. Your chest, shoulders and arms grow bigger. You try to speak but only high pitch squeals come out. Dr. Vernon explains that the musculature of most apes vocal cords are incapable of human speech.
You can now tell that you are turning into...